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Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

81K followers 130 following 1.6K posts

New York Times bestselling author and audiobook narrator.
Host of It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton
Retired Starfleet officer.

Husband, father, Traveler.

Nazi punks fuck off.

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Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.

The cover for Soul Coughing's fist album, Ruby Vroom.

December 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

On a retail display, Christmas stockings with letters on them are arraigned to spell out
WELCOME TO BONER LAND.

December 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

My kids are home for Christmas, and our family has been playing the shit out of Flip 7. It actually knocked Sushi Go out of first place, where it's been for 12 years.

It's a simple press your luck game that is way more fun than a press your luck game has any right to be. I highly recommend it.

A game by Eric Olsen. Flip 7. Press your luck! Race to 200! Ages 8+ 3+ players 20 minutes.

December 25, 2025 at 1:33 AM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I was trying to figure out why the widow Kirk seems so familiar to me, and then

December 21, 2025 at 7:35 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Well that was a goddamn delightful evening out. Circle Jerks were incredible, the sound was amazing, and the vibe was perfect. After their set, we all watched Repo Man on the big screen. 10/10

The marquee of Gardena Cinema. Red letters say 2 NITE CIRCLE JERKS REPO MAN the E in JERKS is backwards, as it should be.

November 23, 2025 at 9:24 AM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Hi. It's me. I'm here to gently ask if you've been giving yourself grace? Patience? Self-care?

You've got this. You are enough, and you deserve all the good things.

An orange kitty snuggles in a grey blanket. Meme text reads Sometimes self-care looks like this. It's okay to rest. Be kind to yourself.

November 16, 2025 at 7:02 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Happy Saturday, y'all! I have a new episode of It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton for you to enjoy. This week's story is "Dissembling Light" by Kel Coleman.

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i...

Wil Wheaton, in a black tshirt with his arms folded across his chest. Oh, he's handsome! You'd never believe he's a giant nerd who never goes outside. He's standing in front of a blue background with some delightful images reflecting storytelling. The bottom of the image says It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton.

November 15, 2025 at 6:30 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

The cosmic ballet goes on.

An extremely real photograph of the Aurora Borealis, its gossamer shrouds of red and green blown by the solar wind across the skies about Los Angeles. Definitely not a fake if you were wondering. I mean why would anyone even fake something like that? Because he's like jealous of everyone who gets to see it for real tonight? Pfft! That's just silly. Go back to enjoying the very real picture of nature's very real majesty that was just taken in the skies above Los Angeles. Oh and if you go outside to look for yourself you probably won't see it because it was almost out of science energy and was kind of just vanishing. Good thing there's a real picture of it from someone who really saw it, to remember it.

November 12, 2025 at 5:19 AM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Workin'

This guy is in a voice recording rding booth, wearing a black T-shirt that says Have the Day You Voted for.

And as it turns out, for the first time in a fucking YEAR, he finally is.

November 5, 2025 at 8:04 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I'm having a lot of fun preparing to do my live narration of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow tonight. I haven't been this excited to perform live in a long time.

October 30, 2025 at 9:05 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I found a picture of Trump and the GOP.

A screenshot of The Good Life, from The Twilight Zone. A group of adults cowers behind a murderous, capricious, chaotic child while he is distracted by the last remaining adult with any courage. They could stop him, they could finally free the world from his reign of terror. It could finally be over, but not a single one of them rises to the moment, because they are useless cowards, beaten into submission by the chaotic whims of a child.

This episode was produced and aired in 1961.

October 25, 2025 at 9:54 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Mom and dad are so proud of you for marching today. #NoKings

October 18, 2025 at 11:48 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

If you can hear this image, it's probably time to schedule your colonoscopy. If you can sing the whole song, it's also time to get your shingles vaccine.

Time for Timer on a red background. Next to him, the phrase "When my get-up-and-go has got up and went, I hanker for a Hunk O' Cheese!"

He looks at you with this blank stare, daring you to tell him you tried to make sunshine on a stick in the freezer but the toothpicks never stayed up straight. He knows you won't say anything because you're embarrassed. You know he knows. He knows that you know that he knows. And yet, he just stands there, hankering for a hunk o' cheese like it isn't fucking impossible to get plastic wrap to stay taught on an ice cube tray.

You want to ask him for a wagon wheel, from his stacks of snacks, but you can't bring yourself to say the words, because now you, too, are hankering, hankering for the last hunk-o-cheese, and you both know you'll have to fight for it.

October 4, 2025 at 9:01 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Timeline cleanse.

Two contestants place their bids on The Price Is Right. The person on the left has bid 1201 dollars. The person on the right has bid 2 dollars. The person on the left is wearing a red shirt. The person on the right is the "Where's my two dollars?" paperboy from Better Off Dead.

He wins, by the way. Actual retail price was 1199 dollars.

September 20, 2025 at 10:40 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I'll get you Eh Steve, if it's the last thing I doooooooooo!

Eh Steve is here to say his hilarious catch phrase, "Eh, Steve."

September 14, 2025 at 8:50 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I guess I'm living rent-free in this guy's head?

redditor u/lost_balloon shows us his whole ass by replying to half a dozen comments I left on Reddit across different subs. It's not worth your time to read alt-text of everything this dude said.

For the record: it's a little weird, a lot sad, and ultimately very stupid.

September 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

Yesterday, at Rose City Comic Con, I saw the Welcome to Nightvale tarot set for the first time, including Earl Harlan as the six of cups. I didn't know this existed, and it's gorgeous.

I love that I got to be a small part of Nightvale, and I love that my character is immortalized like this.

The six of cups tarot card is next to an autograph by the coolest guy who ever lived as far as you know without fact-chacking. He's super cool, you guys, and doesn't smell like milk at all.

He quoted his character in Welcome to Nightvale: "If you can't catch your own nutmeg, store-bought is fine."

There's a beautiful autograph, the kind you want to put in a museum, and the cool guy used different color pens to lend a sense of ART to the entire piece.

September 6, 2025 at 3:47 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

being a dad is pretty great

August 30, 2025 at 2:26 AM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

The grim reaper is disappointed that he got james dobson in the claw machine instead of trump. To be honest, we are all disappointed with him. Come on, Grim Reaper, focus!

August 21, 2025 at 5:18 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

oh no not vagrants whatever shall we do

Ralph Wiggum wearing baby jd vance's big stupid face says "and i saw one of the vagrants and the vagrant looked at me"

August 20, 2025 at 7:29 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

"Now that's what I call where are the Epstein files".

August 11, 2025 at 6:32 PM

Wil Wheaton

@wilwheaton.net

I doubt this will mean anything to you if you aren't in the KABC viewing area, but for those of us who are ... I saw this at the OC Fair last night, in the arts and crafts exhibition. I've been on live megadoppler 2000 storm watch ever since.