Machine Gun Milk
@woodhouse.bsky.social
this is just like dark souls
Pinned
Machine Gun Milk
@woodhouse.bsky.social
· Nov 28
Ecosystem so new idk if I should tell people to kill themselves or if that would be like giving neanderthals a javelin missile
men are not oppressed but the HR lady really seems to think I cannot keep my pothos alive due to my gender
May 13, 2025 at 5:29 PM
men are not oppressed but the HR lady really seems to think I cannot keep my pothos alive due to my gender
she can kill me
February 12, 2025 at 3:54 PM
she can kill me
I fear this would work on me
February 7, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I fear this would work on me
I ignored my medical debt for 18 months and the debt collector is starting to send messages like 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 hey what if we gave you 50% off your debt 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 then would you pay 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 and it's like no idiots call me when I can venmo you like $20
February 7, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I ignored my medical debt for 18 months and the debt collector is starting to send messages like 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 hey what if we gave you 50% off your debt 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 then would you pay 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 and it's like no idiots call me when I can venmo you like $20
Does anybody know if the new D&D 5e book has AI art? It'd be neat to have the new print but Hasbro is Hasbro
November 30, 2024 at 6:13 PM
Does anybody know if the new D&D 5e book has AI art? It'd be neat to have the new print but Hasbro is Hasbro
Girlfriend is asleep. Who am I supposed to tell that this FromSoft boss is Too Hard
October 25, 2024 at 4:48 AM
Girlfriend is asleep. Who am I supposed to tell that this FromSoft boss is Too Hard
dude at Fry's said "you look like yung gravy" homie huh
October 23, 2024 at 6:27 AM
dude at Fry's said "you look like yung gravy" homie huh
didn't care that much about the block change but a lot of my favorite posters are moving here so I opened the app back up to discover wait this place actually bangs
October 18, 2024 at 7:25 AM
didn't care that much about the block change but a lot of my favorite posters are moving here so I opened the app back up to discover wait this place actually bangs
my nanobots didn't deploy with the nationwide alert system and I'm upset
October 4, 2023 at 6:19 PM
my nanobots didn't deploy with the nationwide alert system and I'm upset
i have this incredible aversion to receiving casual unsolicited food, i think it's the most inhuman thing about me. but i get the ick so bad when an acquaintance gives me food i didn't ask for. i know. what privilege. what hubris. but do not fucking give me that i don't want it. im sorry
October 4, 2023 at 5:26 PM
i have this incredible aversion to receiving casual unsolicited food, i think it's the most inhuman thing about me. but i get the ick so bad when an acquaintance gives me food i didn't ask for. i know. what privilege. what hubris. but do not fucking give me that i don't want it. im sorry
nerd at work talking that "if min wage goes up then everything goes up" bullshit; if i am silent i am damned but if i speak up i am doomed
October 3, 2023 at 9:53 PM
nerd at work talking that "if min wage goes up then everything goes up" bullshit; if i am silent i am damned but if i speak up i am doomed
I like my job bc I can take lunch twice and nobody cares
September 11, 2023 at 9:52 PM
I like my job bc I can take lunch twice and nobody cares
Reposted by Machine Gun Milk
How the hell am I supposed to lie like I know what I’m doing when the only thing pulled up on my monitor is “deer gets hit by bus goes FLYING [super slow motion at the end]”
September 11, 2023 at 9:15 PM
How the hell am I supposed to lie like I know what I’m doing when the only thing pulled up on my monitor is “deer gets hit by bus goes FLYING [super slow motion at the end]”
Twitter having a normal one
September 11, 2023 at 7:27 PM
Twitter having a normal one
When I was a kid I discovered that if you ram your knuckles into your eyes hard enough you see colors and shapes so I'd do that really hard and pretend the blurs and shapes were a puppy because my parents kept saying no to getting a puppy
August 31, 2023 at 8:06 PM
When I was a kid I discovered that if you ram your knuckles into your eyes hard enough you see colors and shapes so I'd do that really hard and pretend the blurs and shapes were a puppy because my parents kept saying no to getting a puppy
Hey so lemon in water is just gross, let's stop kidding ourselves
August 28, 2023 at 9:16 PM
Hey so lemon in water is just gross, let's stop kidding ourselves
We're just normal men. We're just innocent men.
August 28, 2023 at 9:00 PM
We're just normal men. We're just innocent men.
Yeah so I didn't heal the very second that the midfight cutscene ended, I healed about half a second too late, so I got hit by the magic, and then my dodge timing was off so I got killed by the teleport attack and that's why you should just skip dark souls altogether
August 27, 2023 at 11:02 AM
Yeah so I didn't heal the very second that the midfight cutscene ended, I healed about half a second too late, so I got hit by the magic, and then my dodge timing was off so I got killed by the teleport attack and that's why you should just skip dark souls altogether
i've got a job for you, 621
August 27, 2023 at 5:35 AM
i've got a job for you, 621
was replying to this dude and got CLAPPED
August 24, 2023 at 12:14 AM
was replying to this dude and got CLAPPED
trying to feel out a coelacanth vibe, extinct for 60M years type beat
August 22, 2023 at 12:10 AM
trying to feel out a coelacanth vibe, extinct for 60M years type beat
where are all the other guys who never ever go over the contents of their wallets. i have pictures of two different ex girlfriends. it's a time capsule in there
August 21, 2023 at 6:38 PM
where are all the other guys who never ever go over the contents of their wallets. i have pictures of two different ex girlfriends. it's a time capsule in there
why didn't i win that game of fortnite yesterday. what happened to me
August 21, 2023 at 5:40 PM
why didn't i win that game of fortnite yesterday. what happened to me