Deleted my Twitter account. Had it for 10 years, but it's become an unregulated cesspit of far right, white supremacist, Nazi, bigoted, racist arseholes. My mental health won't miss it. Musk has ruined it.

During Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day the police could force their way into your home and make them return to their own homes.
Does anybody know if this service is still available and, if so, do you have to book it?

Not one of my normal messages. Bit more serious.
If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.

You can't get Juicy Fruit anywhere. I thought things were going to get better under Labour?