I had to turn off spell checking on my phone to make my keyboard work. It used to randomly insert extra words, or just skip over some words. Sometimes if I tried to type a longer word, it would just produce a single letter instead.

I honestly just want to throw my phone in a volcano.

me when I decide my own website should be unusable so I can make a few cents from accidental clicks

he's like two neurons firing away from making a revelation about cars, but he only has the one

I didn't need this intrusive thought today, but thank you. You are correct.

I've been working in retail since well before Covid. I used to be able to tell what day of the week it was from the way customers behaved. Now every day is Sunday.

A false prize? No, my dear Doctor, it is you who is mistaken. For it is this ironic label that will complete me. Never has a greater prize been bestowed upon anyone.

ngl, they got me

almost

fucked up calendars as a consequence of fucked up moons