I needed to get this off of my chest. Sure, it was a ramble, but honestly this was thought put into form. No formal planning, just pure thought. My sins are mine alone, and I will pay for them for as long as the universe sees fit.

Again, if it wasn't clear enough, I am sorry for my behavior, actions taken, and conduct. It was disrespectful, offensive and hurtful. I don't need forgiveness, it wasn't okay in the first place. I don't need sympathy, pity is not appropriate here. I am what I am, I did what I did.

Some may call me a coward for not tagging the people affected. Out of respect for them, they deserve to not have it brought up again. I only bring this up now as I have had time to reflect, I do not deserve the privilege of an audience that would come with a direct interaction.

I say "I" a lot in this, because there is nobody to blame but myself. I got myself here, and I am not able to get out. The only path left is to lay in the bed that I have made myself, and do my best with what I have. I won't ask for help, sympathy or anything like that. This is mine and mine alone.

I am not asking for forgiveness. I am not asking for redemption. I am not asking for exoneration. I am beyond that. What happens with/to me moving forward will be exactly what it is. Whether its open arms or closed fists. Cheers or jeers. I will embrace it with a smile.

I live with my scars, my lessons learned, and take those lessons and apply them to my everyday relationships and situations. I am remorseful and very sorry for what I have done to hurt people, and if I could redo it all, I would take a different path every time.

I am that person, as shitty as it is. Yeah, I wasn't great. It sucks, to put it lightly. All I can do now is embrace who/what I am. I've reflected over the last 2 years, my therapist has helped me majorly. That and surrounding myself with people who hold me accountable for my actions.

I am still learning, still healing, still trying to be better. But not for anyone else. For me. And me alone.

Looking back at who I was, I really was a dickhead. No longer. But, I won’t hesitate to stand my ground to protect who I have become, and the work that i’ve done to improve.

Thanks🖤

-Wush

Like, for most of my life i’ve done things for other people and made sacrifices at the consequence of myself for others.

Unlearning that, and treating myself with respect has been difficult. But sobering.

When you learn that, it’s a hard pill to swallow when making others happy, makes you happy.

Thanks for hearing me out. I’m eternally sorry for how I behaved. I can’t fix the past but I can build a stronger future. A better me for the future. For myself and everyone else.

But, it taught me that the way I lived was not okay. It taught me who I was, was not good.

And i’m grateful for that karma.

I’m striving to be better every day. Learning about myself. Shedding old skin. Beginning again.

I’m happier with who I am becoming. And I hope that I can be forgiven one day

Thanks homie!

I need a lobotomy.