people can just be themselves and it doesn't have to be a big deal, and that also means letting dudes wear whatever fabric on their bodies or doll themselves up in whatever way they want without being anxious about people speculating. if you struggle w this, maybe it's time to do some reflection

gender essentialism sucks ass and we aren't going to free ourselves of bullshit by sticking to it. let dudes explore presentation and have fun, let them challenge gender roles without feeling like they can't or shouldn't bc they don't identify a certain way & ppl will call them "performative" or w/e

I think it just drives me fucking nuts because it's hypocritical, not helping any of us and indicative that even within the queer communities we have issues with femininity. I feel like we are v comfortable with cis straight women presenting masc, but we're still weird about the inverse.

yes he might be an egg, yes he might be nb, yes he might be gay or anything, but if he tells you that he's cis & straight, then as far as you know, he's cis & straight & likes to present feminine. if that ever changes, let him tell you that. but if it never happens, let it go

when you say "gender is a social construct" that means that we should let cis straight men break rigid gender roles without automatically deciding what their sexuality or identity is FOR them. we understand that clothes have no sexuality or gender, right?

basically im torn between being a free-spirited, vulnerable, open & warm person and also being Dale Gribble

idk why im venting about this here. especially when I'm talkin about needing to not share so much of myself. I need to eat and rest and maybe I'll delete later lol 🥴

it sounds so ridiculous because im just some fuckin guy. but I promise to myself always to live as authentically & true to myself as I can. I love being vulnerable! but then, I have had so many experiences that make me truly just wanna hide under a fucking rock and it leaves me feeling so conflicted

it happens to the best of us but I have been dealing with this since birth and goddamn. I hope I can reach the point where I can fully freely trust, without being used, put on a pedestal, reduced to an extension of someone, or a purpose, or something to deeply scrutinize like a sort of specimen

I've had to learn to know when and how to set boundaries with people over the years. but man. I am so tired of putting up boundaries with people I really fucking trusted at some point until they began to let their own insecurities & fears take the forefront of your bond with them