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Randall Munroe

@xkcd.com

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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 13h

Window Screen

xkcd.com/3151/

4-panel comic. (1) [person in front of window, shaped like a trapezoid with a curved top] This weekend, I had to make an oversized screen for a porch window. (2) [person sitting with hands on head surrounded by images of assorted equations and measurements] It involved countless tiny problems, each somehow way harder than it should be. Oblique angles. Curved edges. Noncoplanarity. (3) [person in front of window with screen on it, with building detritus strewn on the ground] ...I solved them all. I measured precisely. I did trigonometry. I made custom parts. And it fit *perfectly.* No gaps, no ripples. (4) [person typing at computer] I know that your foundation normally limits its purview to physics, medicine, peace, chemistry, and literature. However, if you review the attached photos showing how well the screen fits into the...

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 1d

Ping

xkcd.com/3150/

4-panel comic. (1) [person finds bottle on shore] (2) [person reads message from inside bottle: ICMP ECHO REQUEST...] (3) [person writes on message ICMP ECHO REPLY...] (4) [person puts bottle back in water and leaves]

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 4d

Measure Twice, Cut Once

xkcd.com/3149/

Comic. “Measure [Twice], cut [Once]” -Carpenty Proverb. [Scatter plot with number of measurements on y axis and number of cuts on x axis. Points in a descending line on graph: surveyor, surgeon, good carpenter, careless carpenter, really bad carpenter, serial killer]

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 6d

100% All Achievements

xkcd.com/3148/

Comic. PERSON 1 to person with white hat: I finished all the gen-ed back in 2010, and I’m up to the 400-level courses in most departments. But now one of my advisors is saying I “can’t have more than 20 majors” and “need to graduate next year.” It’s outrageous! [caption] My university is making it really hard to finish a 100% all achievements speedrun.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 7d

Could we survive eating only humans?

Watch the latest What If? video collaboration with @minuteearth.bsky.social!

youtu.be/PUtI3xoaHx0

Could we survive eating only humans?

YouTube video by xkcd's What If?

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 8d

Hiking

xkcd.com/3147/

Comic. [Two people hiking up mountain] PERSON 1: Okay, we’re nearing the next downhill segment I’ll put in the order. ...Confirming start and end points… Submitted! [water slide being dropped from above by drones] PERSON 2 with long hair: Look, here it comes! [Waterslide positioned on downhill slope of mountain with both people riding down] BOTH: Wheeee [Waterslide carried back into the air] [Both people continuing to hike up next slope] [caption] On-demand waterslide delivery has really improved the whole hiking experience.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 12d

Fantastic Four

xkcd.com/3146/

Comic. [Person with ponytail talking to a second person.] PERSON 1: In the new *Fantastic Four* movie, their ship doesn’t have enough fuel to get home and Sue Storm goes into labor, so they slingshot around a neutron star and fire their engines at periapsis—as Sue has her baby—to get a boost. PERSON 2: Ah yes, the Obirth effect.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 14d

Piercing

xkcd.com/3145/

Comic. [Large panel showing curve of Earth with upward opening curve below the surface labeled “constant curvature borehole.” Two smaller overlaid panels show (1) People next to machine on tracks with a tube pointed to the ground labeled “directional drilling rig” and (2) Earth with a ring embedded in it.] [caption] Good news: Geologists have decided that Earth is finally old enough to get its first lithosphere piercing!

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 15d

Phase Changes

xkcd.com/3144/

2-panel comic. (1) Phase Changes in Theory. PERSON with short hair: As you can see, when water is cooled to below 0°C, it changes from a liquid to a solid. [bowl of even layer of ice] (2) Phase Changes in Practice. PERSON: When water freezes, it sometimes sends out long weird spikes. Physics tells us the water is “trying to give us a present.” [bowl with weird ice shapes jutting upwards]

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 19d

Question Mark

xkcd.com/3143/

Comic. PERSON 1: That movie was so good. Maybe even the greatest movie of all time question mark? PERSON 2: Yeah comma, but you said that about italics *Charlie’s Angels Colon: Full Throttle* period. Paragraph break. I question your judgement period. [caption] When people say “question mark” out loud as a rhetorical device, it always makes me want to say my other punctuation and formatting too.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 21d

-Style Pizza

xkcd.com/3142/

Comic. [Graph with x axis for City Size and y axis for Tastiness of “<City>-Style Pizza”. An arrow points to bottom left corner, labeled Towns with bored restaurant owners who have come up with a fun prank to play on visitors. A shaded area covers the length of the y-axis on the left, then narrows toward the right, with the bottom curving upwards toward the right. Arrows within the region point in all different directions labeled Various controversial regional specialties. An arrow points to the upper right corner of this shaded region with label New York up here somewhere.]

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 22d

Mantle Model

xkcd.com/3141/

Comic. Every feature of the Earth’s surface that we have a hard time explaining. [Arrows point from title to assorted bumps on surface of sphere. Underneath, from the core more arrows point at dotted lines forming structures labeled Hypothesized Mantle Plumes. [caption] Standard Geophysical Model of the Mantle

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 26d

Biology Department

xkcd.com/3140/

Comic. [Building with large sign in front of it[ SIGN: Welcome to the *Biology Department* It has been [changeable sign: 3] days since we discovered something existentially horrifying about bugs that makes you question your whole reality

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 27d

Chess Variant

xkcd.com/3139/

Comic. [chessboard where one block of 2x2 sliding squares is shifted inward, with a blank next to it indicating the direction of the block’s movement] [caption] Sliding Number Puzzle Chess

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 28d

What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?

Watch the latest What If? video collaboration with @minuteearth.bsky.social!

youtu.be/DiWFXv9N0Vs

What if the Moon were made entirely of electrons?

YouTube video by xkcd's What If?

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 29d

Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure

xkcd.com/3138/

Comic. Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure. [mockup of “2x4” piece of wood showing the dimensions as 1½“ by 3 ½“] Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2x4” is actually 1½“ by 3 ½“, and a “1x8” is ¾“ by 7⅛“. [two tape measures: one is labeled 12’, the other 12’*] If you know someone into carpentry or woodworking, get them our *dimensional lumber tape measure*. [A “normal tape measure” with even increments and a “dimensional lumber tape measure” with increments at different lengths for each inch] *Don’t tell them you got it*—just leave it in their toolbox. They’ll appreciate the surprise when all their measurements work out!

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Sep 4

Cursed Number

xkcd.com/3137/

Comic. [Three people standing behind podium labeled math department. Person with bun holds up a paper. Behind them is a projector screen displaying the equation 💀>26 x 10^21] [caption] Good news: Mathematicians have put a new lower bound on the *Cursed Number That Destroys the Minds of All Who Perceive It!* It’s at least 22 digits, which means it’s unlikely to be seen by any human no matter how many random numbers they look at. They say it’s once again safe to view large random numbers without eye protection.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Sep 3

Pull

xkcd.com/3136/

3-panel comic. (1) [two people laying on the grass on a curved surface, oriented vertically] PERSON 1: I don’t like being stuck to this orb, but I guess falling off would be worse. (2) [the surface has rotated slightly] PERSON 2: I wouldn’t mind if it pulled a little less hard, though. I have places to be. I shouldn’t just lie around in the grass. (3) [the surface has rotated a little further] PERSON 1: Maybe the pull will weaken if you wait a little longer. PERSON 2: Good idea. I’ll give it another five minutes.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Sep 2

Sea Level

xkcd.com/3135/

Comic. [Two people on shore looking at body of water] PERSON 1: Hey, where’s that big island we were looking at this morning? PERSON 2 with short hair: Oh, it’s underwater. The ocean’s depth here goes up and down by like ten feet every day. PERSON 1: What? PERSON 2: It’s because the planet has a big moon orbiting near the surface. It causes weird gravity effects. PERSON 1: *What???* [caption] People here are used to them, but tides are one of the weirdest and most sci-fi elements of life on Earth.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 28

Wavefunction Collapse

xkcd.com/3134/

4-panel Comic. (1) STUDENT: If the wavefunction only collapses when I observe it, does that mean my consciousness affects the universe? (2) [Bad:] PROFESSOR: Yes, quantum entanglement proves that we all have souls. (3) [Good:] PROFESSOR: No, consciousness plays no role here. It’s just physical measurement. (4) [Chaotic:] PROFESSOR: No. The wavefunction collapses when *I* look at it because I’m a full professor. It won’t collapse for an undergraduate.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 27

Dual Roomba

xkcd.com/3133/

4-panel comic. (1) [Roomba next to two people] PERSON 1 to Person 2 with white hat: The Roomba keeps my floor clean. But what do I do when the *Roomba* gets dirty? (2) PERSON 1: Simple: I got a second Roomba and a ramp, so they can clean each other. [a second Roomba takes ramp to be on top of first Roomba] (3) PERSON 1: After the tops are clean, I flip one of them over so they can clean each others’ undersides. [flips Roomba upside down] (4) [stacked Roombas vibrating] PERSON 2: There’s nothing NSFW about this, and yet it’s the most NSFW thing I’ve ever seen. PERSON 1: Yeah, my YouTube DIY video about it got demonetized.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 26

Coastline Similarity

xkcd.com/3132/

Comic. (1) [Teacher points to world map that highlights the edges of South America’s eastern coastline and Africa’s western coastline.] TEACHER: People had long noticed that South America and Africa had similarly-shaped coastlines. (2) TEACHER: In the 20th century, geologists finally found the explanation. (3) STUDENT: *Plagiaris*— TEACHER: Continental drift. STUDENT: Oh.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 25

Cesium

xkcd.com/3131/

Comic. (1) PERSON 1 with short hair: There’s a recall of frozen shrimp contaminated with Cesium-137. PERSON 2: With *what?* PERSON 1: I know, right? PERSON 2: *How?!* (2) PERSON 1: No idea, but I bet it involved some expensive equipment. Those Cesium sources aren’t cheap. PERSON 2: Man. (3) PERSON 1: It’s honestly a little inspiring to realize that it’s always possible to screw up in a totally new way. PERSON 2: Yeah, the biggest agency whose attention *I’ve* drawn by messing up a recipe is the local fire department.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 19

Predicament

xkcd.com/3130/

4-panel comic. (1) [Person looking at bottom of single stilt that makes a TAP TAP sound on ground] (2) [ Person looking at bottom of two stilts that make TAP TAP TAP sounds (3) VOICE from off-panel, on top of stilts: Do you have your phone? PERSON: Yeah. (4) VOICE FROM STILTS: Can you Google— PERSON: —How to get down from stilts? VOICE FROM STILTS: Yes please.

Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · Aug 18

Archaeology Research

xkcd.com/3129/

Comic. [Person giving a presentation. On roll-down projector screen are images of two arrowheads made of “stone (traditional)” and “copper (my method)”.] PERSON: In the process of analyzing Paleolithic stone toolmaking, I’ve stumbled on an improved technique for producing points and blades. Instead of stone, my method is based on the heating and shaping of copper ore… [caption] Too late, I realized my entire archaeology dissertation had been based on a colossal misunderstanding.