I’m using ms word for the first time in like 15 years and when did we stop putting a comma before but?

Prison abolition for everyone except website designers who make you choose a date from a calendar instead of typing it in, HomeBase.

Can someone please tell the “high egg prices are a way to make Americans weak by taking away our cheap protein” conspiracy people about lentils?

Won the group chat today by texting “sounds like a 🍮” (flan emoji) in response to a good plan.

Me, moving into my house: huh that’s weird, this oven only has one rack
Jack, 3 months later pulling ivy off the fence: why would you….patch a fence with an oven rack?

Sometimes I think I should join the knitting community (I have been knitting for decades), but then I see someone wholeheartedly arguing that sharing a pattern with one (1) friend is ethically indistinguishable from mass uploading patterns to Discord servers and I realize why I have not done that.

It finally started raining like it should be doing now and Odin is not pleased.

He just needs to make sure you’re not leaving.

I came to terms having to own a car after leaving the city and then I came to terms with never getting to be a passenger princess again after my partner started having seizures, but I still am deeply offended when I have to change a flat tire.

Wicked fans: oh nooo this book is so much weirder and darker than the musical
Les Miserables fans from inside a literal French sewer:

My partner has lots of solid bits and an especially good one is that he calls Matthew Broderick “Jerry Carcrash”

Hey friends if you got off meta and cancelled prime for ethical reasons, you should also stop using gmail and other google shit.

The phrase running late just doesn’t resonate with me. At best I’m walking late.

They gentrified the gravity bong.

Regular dog

Unexpected dog walk mushies in a pile of bark dust.