Ooh poor baby being manipulated into doing his job :(((((

Overheard on septa

"I am a learned man"
"No you're not. You're just lactose intolerant."

This has the vibes of a puppy meet up. Look at them!!! They're so happy to be outside!!

Stuck in the Costco food court because a 70 year old man in a blazer is beefing with employees about his lost $9 and they just called the manager over

Expected shaboozey's dreads to flap their wings and fly away

Too much body horror this year. Keep your bits to yourself please

Weightloss is psyop by big greek yogurt to sell more greek yogurt

It's naked *and* afraid 🏳️‍🌈

Had a dream that my bf doesn't like me anymore so his day has been pretty annoying so far

Just ate a grilled cheese sandwich so good that I dethroned god

Weightloss is psyop by big greek yogurt to sell more greek yogurt

I think it'd be okay for the chiefs to keep their name if they changed it from chiefs (native american) to chiefs (executive officers)

And then their mascot has to be a guy in a suit with a skinny lil tie