jackass: got some straight gas. this strain is called "e-drug" youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw Freesia in the forest

my bitch ex-gf Luna, pacing: the Commander is lying to us

in unrelated news I have been declared ranking officer at North 12C for 5 years in a row now. granted I achieved this by threatening to explode the whole Bunker when my leadership was challenged but what else was I supposed to do

just found out that 2B's older sister may be alive and I'm debating on whether fighting her or fucking her would assert my dominance more

two of the flight units just went missing and I'm thinking it's 6S trying to make them fuck again