Zach Williams but call me Zach
@zachwilliamscomedy.bsky.social
Puns, buns, and automobiles.
arm wrestling is just two guys who wanna hold hands, but don’t wanna be gay.
March 13, 2025 at 5:46 PM
arm wrestling is just two guys who wanna hold hands, but don’t wanna be gay.
But seriously, who is supposed to read these federal “productivity reports”?
February 24, 2025 at 7:52 PM
But seriously, who is supposed to read these federal “productivity reports”?
BRB imagining a world where being a nazi was as much of a political scandal as being gay.
February 21, 2025 at 11:16 PM
BRB imagining a world where being a nazi was as much of a political scandal as being gay.
They’re getting rid of the penny cause they don’t want your two cents.
February 12, 2025 at 6:01 PM
They’re getting rid of the penny cause they don’t want your two cents.
I must have resting stoned face.
February 7, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I must have resting stoned face.
When you consider what bezo’s fiancée was wearing yesterday, yea it was too cold to have the inauguration outdoors.
January 21, 2025 at 8:52 PM
When you consider what bezo’s fiancée was wearing yesterday, yea it was too cold to have the inauguration outdoors.
To be fair government shutdowns have been getting shorter and shorter.
January 19, 2025 at 7:21 PM
To be fair government shutdowns have been getting shorter and shorter.
Thank god, where else was I gonna find clips of forced crowdwork at an open mic?
January 19, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Thank god, where else was I gonna find clips of forced crowdwork at an open mic?
What’s nice about the ban is that right as it was becoming trendy to complain about it being gone it was back.
January 19, 2025 at 6:46 PM
What’s nice about the ban is that right as it was becoming trendy to complain about it being gone it was back.
Look on the bright side, with Tik Tok banned, Americans will have time to read more books.
January 19, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Look on the bright side, with Tik Tok banned, Americans will have time to read more books.
Gangster 1: We need a new scheme.
Gangster 2 who’s been studying ancient Egyptian architecture: Ok so check it out-
Gangster 2 who’s been studying ancient Egyptian architecture: Ok so check it out-
January 17, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Gangster 1: We need a new scheme.
Gangster 2 who’s been studying ancient Egyptian architecture: Ok so check it out-
Gangster 2 who’s been studying ancient Egyptian architecture: Ok so check it out-
Of course millennials care about the environment. We were raised on Barney, Jurassic park, and The Land Before Time, but you’re surprised we freak out about fossil fuels?
January 14, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Of course millennials care about the environment. We were raised on Barney, Jurassic park, and The Land Before Time, but you’re surprised we freak out about fossil fuels?
Analog porn is about to make the biggest come back.
January 7, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Analog porn is about to make the biggest come back.
If it was a shotgun marriage that makes you a son of a gun.
December 19, 2024 at 3:48 PM
If it was a shotgun marriage that makes you a son of a gun.
Okay but hear me out: (screams)
December 16, 2024 at 10:58 PM
Okay but hear me out: (screams)
Chess is non-binary checkers.
December 11, 2024 at 6:00 AM
Chess is non-binary checkers.
Fuck, marry, kill: ghosts of Christmas from a Christmas Carol.
December 11, 2024 at 3:28 AM
Fuck, marry, kill: ghosts of Christmas from a Christmas Carol.
Wish me luck ya’ll I got 3k riding on this dog show.
November 28, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Wish me luck ya’ll I got 3k riding on this dog show.
Hey, shut up.
November 21, 2024 at 2:57 PM
Hey, shut up.
Remember when bringing up the weather was a benign conversation? Now it’s either gonna lead to natural disasters or conspiracy theories.
November 21, 2024 at 2:34 PM
Remember when bringing up the weather was a benign conversation? Now it’s either gonna lead to natural disasters or conspiracy theories.
Putting hours into writing and shooting and editing a promo video just to have a selfie clip of me ranting about Sweden get more views.
November 21, 2024 at 2:30 PM
Putting hours into writing and shooting and editing a promo video just to have a selfie clip of me ranting about Sweden get more views.
I downloaded Sweden’s WW3 pamphlet. Disappointed to report there is not one meatball recipe.
November 20, 2024 at 8:02 PM
I downloaded Sweden’s WW3 pamphlet. Disappointed to report there is not one meatball recipe.
Your biggest flex isn’t the weight you lift—it's the discipline you build. 💪🔥 Show up for YOU every single day. #FitnessMotivation #StayConsistent #GymLife
November 20, 2024 at 4:29 PM
Your biggest flex isn’t the weight you lift—it's the discipline you build. 💪🔥 Show up for YOU every single day. #FitnessMotivation #StayConsistent #GymLife
Be honest, who came here just to bitch about Twitter?
November 20, 2024 at 4:38 AM
Be honest, who came here just to bitch about Twitter?
Physical fitness is super important.
November 19, 2024 at 10:10 PM
Physical fitness is super important.