ZoeyKL
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zoeykl.bsky.social
ZoeyKL
@zoeykl.bsky.social
Legal disclaimer: Everything and anything posted by this account is satire/parody, including personal posts and political posts, which may include calls for violence against Nazis.

Special note for the FBI: I'm allied with the CIA ;)
Pinned
When I say "remember what happened in 1945" this is what I mean.
Civilization is fragile, people are fallible, and violence is sometimes the only honest language left; but it should always be used with intention.
February 10, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Fedfucks would shit themselves and cum in their pants at the same time if they ever actually had to deal with me. The FBI is so afraid of me, that they passed the (illegal) free speech arrest duty to the local police because they knew I'd comply with local authority.

Go read FM 3-0. It's 296 pages.
February 8, 2026 at 7:17 PM
When I say "remember what happened in 1945" this is what I mean.
February 2, 2026 at 9:42 AM
The FBI tried to have me arrested for enjoying the first and second amendments. By the way, retards, the posts weren't "anti government". They were anti-Nazi. If you arrest someone for making anti-Nazi posts, you're a Nazi. You know what happened to Nazis? 05/07/1945
February 2, 2026 at 7:15 AM
Ceramic armor is for weakling cowards. 45lb with one arm like it's nothing. I'm taking a testosterone blocker. Yet these dweebs need illegal T shots and a protien shake just to curl a 45lb weight.

I have trained and conditioned with this armor for nearly a decade. It's not about strength.
January 31, 2026 at 12:08 PM
Hey ICE, get the fuck out of Maine.
January 28, 2026 at 9:25 AM
Here's a list of encrypted and unecrypted trunked system used by ICE/DHS/CBP
January 26, 2026 at 11:30 AM
Here's a list of (almost) every unencrypted and encrypted trunked system used by DC law enforcement/special services.
January 26, 2026 at 11:29 AM
Here's my EDC. Equipment from left to right, top to bottom:

Plate carrier, Baofeng AR-5RM, black nitrile gloves, black N95 masks, black hard knuckle tactical fingerless gloves, cigars, emergency pen, lighter, EDC knife, battery bank, USGI IFAK, and IFAK pouch. 1/2
January 25, 2026 at 1:56 AM
Reposted by ZoeyKL
These are the dems that voted to confirm the guy that just handed the Treasury to Musk:
Blunt Rochester
Booker
Cantwell
Coons
Fetterman
Gallego
Gillibrand
Hassan
Hickenlooper
Kaine
Kelly
King (Independent)
Peters
Shaheen
Slotkin
Warner
February 3, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Reposted by ZoeyKL
Humidifier Review xkcd.com/3044
January 30, 2025 at 2:23 PM