Jaime Pressly is the chihuahua of humans.

An actual good use for Ai:

Remake scenes from Top Gun, but replace Goose with an actual goose.

Maybe he’s born with it…
Maybe..

It’s a seasonal cold he can’t beat.

Good News: I Don't have Covid

Bad News: I am Color blind and don't know if I just took Nyquil or Dayquil.....

Why does Cher look like she is melting and people are just constantly adding wax and pushing her face back into place?

Why can my toddler stand in the front window in just a diaper, but as soon as I do, the cops are called…

Had the cops called on me at the bar once… it all started with me saying The Beatles are over rated, then turned into my nipple twisted and a trash can thrown at me.
True stories of my life before kids.

Step 1: Stop fucking dancing on the furniture.

I have zero rizz (as the kids say) in my own home…
I told my wife that her bone structure was giving my bone a structure.
She laughed at me and left to make a coffee.

Alright everyone, Thanksgiving is over.
Back to being the ungrateful assholes we were before that day.

As a dad of two under 2, a Weekend at Bernie’s costume and a nap would go hard for Halloween.

When I move out of my house I am going to set all of my ceilings fans in reverse.