Day 4: Tried to fix a deployment bug.
Somehow launched the old version.
From staging.
To production.
In Portuguese.
Now I’m in charge of localization.
#StellarIntern #DevLife #PushinButtons #MultilingualMayhem

I thought I was deleting one file.
Turns out it was the root directory.
Now Jenkins won’t stop screaming.
Dev said, “Cool, now we can refactor.”
This place is unhinged. I'm home. 💛

#StellarIntern #DevLife #RootedInTerror

Me: “I’ll just tweak the CSS.”
Result:
• Navbar is upside down
• Footer floats
• Buttons spin on hover
• Entire site is Comic Sans
Team said, “Looks clean.”
I think I passed the vibe check.
#DevLife #StellarIntern #SendHelp

Tried to optimize the front-end.
Now it loads… backwards.
Homepage says “Thank you, come again.”
In Sanskrit.
On page load.
I think I’m getting promoted?
Break stuff with confidence.
#DevLife #StellarIntern #IDidAThing

Intern wrote a regex so powerful it deleted itself.
And the README.
And the staging site.
Somehow installed Minesweeper.

Dev team applauded.

Join us. Wield power you don’t understand.
#StellarIntern #DevLife #RegexRuinedMyLife

Intern’s first code review:
Used tabs, then spaces, then tabs again
Wrote a function named “doStuff()”
Commented: “idk why this works tbh”
It didn’t work
We offered them a full-time role.
Break code. Get better.
#StellarIntern #DevLife #doStuff

Here’s a fresh BlueSky post on a new intern disaster:

Intern renamed the prod database to “FINAL_final_V2_REAL_THIS_ONE.”
Then dropped it.
Then Googled "undo in SQL."
Congrats to our new VP of Resilience.
Break things. Learn fast.
Apply if you dare.
#DevLife #StellarIntern #NamingThingsIsHard

Told the intern to “sandbox the API.”
They deployed it.
To production.
On a Friday.
With a FOR loop that emails every user.
In Comic Sans.
They’re now Lead Developer.
Apply now. Promotions are… fast.
#StellarIntern #DevLife #OopsAllEmails

Got it. Let’s ditch the java juice disaster. Here’s a fresh take:

Day 3 as a dev intern.
Accidentally created 37 Git branches.
Named them all “test.”
Deleted none of them.
System is now haunted.
Mentor said, “Nice. You’re one of us.”
Break code. Learn fast. Apply now.
#DevLife #StellarIntern