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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1h

it is also a pleasant departure from routine for tyme to get all these *reactions* from someone while he's coming at them with a needle. mostly by this point they can't exactly run away, or even notice,

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1h

this is necessary at regular intervals in order to keep him in a relatively even mood, pleasant to be around, and not overly fixated on how he's now the last of an agonizing corrupt legacy
he also gets dick normal style on the regular but he can't *only* get the boyfriend treatment

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1h

still on a 4 minutes kick. I don't think great would exactly like getting a fuckton of needles stuck in him but a significant chunk of greattyme's sex life isn't about things great *enjoys* so much as things that get his consciousness hovering about 3 feet above his body and gently thrumming

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Evangeline “I’m Scared” Gallagher @egallagher.bsky.social · 1d

just in general bending my life towards spending as much of my time as possible around freaks and queers and weirdos has been the best thing ever

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⟢ Avilone ‹𝟹 ₊˚.⋆ @faeriegasm.bsky.social · 8h

This will be the hill I die on, “porn addiction” is not real, that phrase specifically is used as a dog whistle and is backed only by pseudoscience which has been created by right wing fascist organisations with the intention to demonise minorities. It is not real, actual science proves it isn’t.

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2h

good luck!

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2h

we can suffer together

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 15h

big ole ears. what is she hearing

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 15h

you're not supposed to let a bat in your house man that's a rabies risk

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1d

nor the read all night and eat cheesecake holiday. like, lady, you raised me catholic, I could see where a protestant would be weirded out but you had us leaving shoes outside our door every year so a dead guy could put chocolate coins in them

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1d

I've tried to provide examples for the tree thing but they are not believing the other extra new year for trees

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1d

was explaining sukkot to my parents as "there are 3 main variables to a jewish holiday: something bad happened to jews somewhere in the world, you're gonna have dinner with your family and talk about symbolic foods, and trees" and they are not believing me on the trees

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1d

there's a lot of people out there who might say they'd *like* to get spitfucked against the wall, but great 4 minutes has the specific ragdollability needed to make it actually happen

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 1d

no cart or nothing

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Tom Fowler @tomfowler.bsky.social · 1d

Perhaps my greatest work?

My version of the predator meme but with Kermit and Fozzy’s arms clasped.

“Fozzy, you son of a bitch!”

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charlotte brocontë @halenthir.bsky.social · 1d

historical setting erotica is funnier if you interpret every implausibly cut dick to mean that the subject is jewish. you’ll just be seeing some medieval knight about to pound his squire thinking well mazel tov to this man

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Will BOO-rows 🖖🍞🥀 @reforest-kelley.bsky.social · 3d

Every once in a while you can still find something good on Facebook

A Tom of Finland drawing of a well-endowed leather daddy accompanied by text that says "AI art? Sorry I prefer gay guy art."

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

cat hard launch!!

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

egg turkey sandwich of some nature on a blueberry bagel

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

I worked a bagel shop in my aggressively southern college's athletic dorm for a day and a half before receiving an order so bad I just walked off forever. whatever you do can't possibly be worse than what I've already seen

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

my coworker asked me if I was packed for my bus tonight (I'm leaving early to go to a slutty gay event acrosstown and told my work I was taking a bus to my parents) and when I went uhhhhh I guess she goes oh, typical man huh

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

I should specify that the bagel order I gave is when I'm eating a full bagel for breakfast without sharing. if I'm eating with a friend or it's a saturday lunch buffet spread I'm going full lox tomato onion. I'm *insisting* upon the capers

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

Every so often I help out with a shabbos lunch-and-learn and the ladies who show up with unmarked sacks of bagels insist that we NEVER pre-cut, not even by an hour. they should start warning speakers that the last 20 mins of their talks will be lost to the incessant thwack of the bagel guillotine

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

Everything bagel, scallion cream cheese, if it's fresh you don't *need* to toast it

Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 2d

Tell me your bagel order and I will tell you *based on NYC cultural expectations* if you have won or lost your election for political office in NYC.

Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 2d

One of my favorite things about NYC is whenever anyone runs for office here they are required to disclose their bagel order.

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a one-man murdertwunk @adspexi.bsky.social · 2d

fuck yeah

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