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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

We don’t have a litter tray. She goes outside in order to collect a wider variety of germs.

Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

It’s a fool’s errand!

Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

No. All that purring and rolling around.

Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

If it gets really hot we can grow Aloe Vera and all have wonderful skin. #LookOnTheBrightSide Except Hugh. Hugh’s dead.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

I was thinking Esher

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 9h

Keep them in the fridge but then you can use them in risotto, pies, soups etc so long as you make sure they’re really hot. At least, that’s what I do and nobody’s died!

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 11h

So now there were two mysteries to solve. What had rendered Hugh unconscious? And why was she surrounded by cacti? In Surrey!

#GirlsOwnCC

Girl’s Own advice @girlsown.bsky.social · 12h

Enjoy the Sunday caption contest. Give away ❤️s, retweet to encourage more competitors, include #GirlsOwnCC

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Reposted by Victoria Gausden

Girl’s Own advice @girlsown.bsky.social · 12h

Enjoy the Sunday caption contest. Give away ❤️s, retweet to encourage more competitors, include #GirlsOwnCC

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Reposted by Victoria Gausden

Lord Whitmore Reans @cha0tic.bsky.social · 15h

A short video of the ringing. Filmed from the path that runs down the side of the church, by the turn off past the allotments to the pub. The video pans to take in the scene. If you wanted you probably couldn’t get a more stereotypical view of an English village.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 14h

Or possibly cursed.

Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 14h

She wouldn’t have taken any notice. She’s utterly feral.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 15h

Yes, always something to discover and something for everyone.

Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 15h

I do think, though, that calling Gesualdo “melancholic” is like calling Jack the Ripper “a bit tetchy”.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 15h

I don’t mind people marking the death of anyone but I get mildly peeved when they describe the death of a 95 year old as a tragedy. What did they think was going to happen?

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 15h

I remember being absolutely mesmerised by Eartha Kitt as a small child. I think it was the way she rolled her ‘r’s and because I thought Kitt was probably short for Kitten.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 15h

If you don’t know about it, I do heartily recommend Radio 3’s Music Map (on now) which every week takes a piece of music and then goes off at a tangent to play other pieces which have something, however obscure, in common. Today Warlock’s Capriol Suite by way of John Dowland and Eartha Kitt.

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Reposted by Victoria Gausden

Sarah Murphy @13sarahmurphy.bsky.social · 20h

“I’m old enough to remember when mainstream British politicians, who should know better, stirred up racial hatred as a path to power. You’re old enough to remember too because it was last Tuesday. And it was Robert Jenrick”

Cathartic anger at flag-flying racism.

www.thenerve.news/p/stewart-le...

Stewart Lee: The thugs have taken my flag. So I’ve taken theirs

What do you do with a lot of cheap banners hanging from motorway bridges once you’ve torn them down?

www.thenerve.news

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

To be honest, it was half a shrew too much for me.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

About time! Although she kindly shared her shrew with me the other day.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

I accept PayPal or postal orders.

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Reposted by Victoria Gausden

Girl’s Own advice @girlsown.bsky.social · 1d

And thanks to you all, up to the 1,000 followers mark, just need another 32,000 to equal the old days in the other place now!

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

You know how hard it can be to clean out a pan that has contained mashed potatoes? Not any more! You can hire the Daphne Spudagone 1000 for a mere £10.00 and say goodbye to your grainy pan nightmares. It’s what a cat’s tongue’s for.

A cat enthusiastically licking out a pan of mashed potatoes

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

I have to live with all this hilarity.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

Not one but two jokes from William tonight, you lucky people.

Q How do I get a cow from one side of a vineyard to the other?
A I herd it through the grapevine

And

Q How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A You put it in a hot oven until its bill withers.

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Victoria Gausden @ancientnmodern.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve just eaten a fig which was suffering with ennui.

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