Lord Whitmore Reans
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cha0tic.bsky.social
Lord Whitmore Reans
@cha0tic.bsky.social
Misanthrope, living in two places in Staffordshire. I don’t have a home. I just have two places where I sleep. I like dogs. I make things. One day I will finally catch up with #TheArchers
I knew Naismith’s rule. But it always seemed a bit obscure & convoluted. Mostly because of the 2000’ part. 10m is a contour line on an #OSMap
🤯
All of a sudden! EASY MATHS!
It’s Naismith’s Rule - 1 hour for every 3 miles (5km) on the flat plus an additional hour for every 2000 ft or 600 metres of ascent.

But in my head I just find it easier to remember 15 minutes per km and add 1 minute for every 10 metres ascent.
December 4, 2025 at 11:08 PM
I’m not allowed to smoke in the flat. So I’ve just been out for a cigarette before bed. The sky is clear and the moon is looking glorious overhead. That description is better than any picture I could take.
December 4, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I am watching a program about tanks. All the information is in metric. Which I don’t have a problem with. I can see how long & how wide they are. I understand how heavy they are. The one metric thing I haven’t got my head round is speed. I need to do that. I need to *get* Kmph.
December 4, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Ricky Gervais was never funny and I don’t know how he got as big as he is. The older I get the more I realise I’m surrounded by fucking morons.
This guy used to be one of my heroes and his stuff now is woeful. Who is this for? Constantly trying to present as a dangerous provocateur, a truth spitter, if you're offended GET OUT but here he is flogging vodka with a lie about someone being offended by dogs? A 6yo yelling "poo bum willy!"
December 3, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Being 79.6 kg or is it the scales themselves that’s going to kill. Me?
December 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM
#CozyCrime watching another episode from Series 01 of #MidsomerMurders
Troy has a shit haircut.
December 2, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I had these two posts turn up in my timeline. Both quote posts by @rhianwilliams.bsky.social I know I should do alt text. I can’t. I’m too horrified.
December 2, 2025 at 10:05 PM
I know it’s a #BYOBParty But I don’t care how much booze you’ve brought. Just leave it on the doorstep and go away. You’re not coming in.
Who the fuck would let you into their house dressed like… WTF are you even wearing?
What I'm wearing to the Bluesky Christmas party:
December 2, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Friend bought a set scales because she thinks her dog might be getting fat after her brother looked after him for the weekend & fed him too much human food. Getting him to sit on the scales…

You’re having a laugh

I know I weigh 80-82kg because we have industrial scales at work.
December 2, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Hmmm indeed. 🤔🤨🧐
December 2, 2025 at 3:42 PM
A big glorious sky day over the village.
December 2, 2025 at 2:45 PM
2 minutes & 30 seconds. The ear is off the skunk. Coming up on 7 minutes and the squeaker has been pulled out. #JRT #DestructoDog
December 2, 2025 at 11:54 AM
I love maps.
The latest version of BGS Geology 50K now covers the majority of Great Britain plus the Isle of Man, an estimated 236 000 km2.

This includes coverage for approximately 99% of the bedrock and approximately 95% of the superficial deposits across the country.

More: www.bgs.ac.uk/news/latest-...
December 2, 2025 at 11:43 AM
#MidsomerMurders Se01Ep04
‘Bunny Cakes’. Peter Jones. What a star.
December 2, 2025 at 12:34 AM
#MidsomerMurders Se01Ep04 about 43 minutes in there is a scene with a fancy multi CD player. If you pause you can see an ‘Oasis’ CD & a ‘Dr Feelgood’ CD
Barnaby moves the selector to the’Dr Feelgood’ CD & presses play.
Classical music of some sort plays.
December 1, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Going back to the start. Watching Se01Ep01 of #MidsomerMurders #CosyCrime
December 1, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Friend brought some #Morrisons mince pies and they’re a big pile of disappointment. Rubbish pastry. The filling was ok though.
December 1, 2025 at 3:47 PM
I am watching #JohnWick & have Paddy sitting on my lap. Of course I’m fucking upset. And if I had the skills I would go on a completely reasonable murderous rampage.
December 1, 2025 at 2:34 PM
“If 3/4 of your drink is mixer”.
Let me stop you right there #FeverTree
If 3/4 of my drink is mixer you’re making my drink wrong.
Plus.
Your standard tonic water is far too sweet. So don’t expect me to try your other versions.
December 1, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Scottish fried meat products (Haggis, white pudding and another one which I forget the name of but it’s quite sweet), fried egg & fried bread. I bet my arteries are harder than yours.
November 30, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Just taken the dog for his walk and come back to eat a bowl of porridge with a splash of cream and a blob of Ginger & Pineapple jam plus a cup of tea. #ForAShortTimeMyLifeIsBetterThanYours
November 30, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Happy Saint Andrew’s day to all the Scottish people out there. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
November 30, 2025 at 1:12 PM
#SundayPix #SundayPixBelovedCritters Young Paddy AKA Pip-pip-pippety-pip AKA Paddy whack.
November 30, 2025 at 12:02 PM
#SundayPix #SundayPixBelovedCritters my boss’s dog Betty AKA Betty Boo Boo
November 30, 2025 at 11:46 AM
#SundayPix #SundayPixBelovedCritters
Old Bob. Made it to 17 which is ancient in dog years.
November 30, 2025 at 11:42 AM