Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

LightNews

ban

@aptendee.bsky.social

120 followers 120 following 580 posts

am i still here? am i still me? ( 🎨; sgtxavi )

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · Sep 9

- TEMP PINNED -

- ban, fandomless oc (mostly)
- she / they
- 22
- fairy…ish creature. 2 feet tall
- living embodiment of anxiety disorder. overly apologetic nervous wreck
- CWs for depictions of panic attacks, mental breakdowns, potential self harm mentions

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 38m

( it’s not surprising everyone wants her.. )

Reposted by ban

TRAGIC CLOWN @lesserbells.bsky.social · 59m

I don't want to keep growing older without you.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

] thank you.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

] please draw a happy battie living her best life though..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

] kiana mai’s jessie interpretation does this and i know battat’s inspired by jessie. i know you know i know you know ball

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

] Anyway theyd start drooling

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

] at peace with herself.. weight gain as a metaphor for self acceptance and appreciating herself more..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

oh.

.. yeah. me too.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1h

like Huh

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

.. thank you.

[ they’re just hoping she can see that. that her listening matters to them, a lot.. ]

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

.. we kinda have to stay optimistic. what else is there.

[ they smile when /she/ smiles. it means a lot. ]

you actually.. listen, to me, it feels like. it’s nice..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

it’s not easy, figuring out what you want.

but—!! i think.. you just need some support. people are like flowers. and sometimes it takes longer for them to be fully open than others. that’s okay.

.. hah. no pun intended when i say that i’m.. ‘rooting’ for you.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ .. almost every word out of her mouth hits a lot deeper than they thought it would. almost. ]

i’m.. kind of the opposite. i make people feel bad without realizing why, but i don’t know what i’m doing wrong either.. so i get attached to the people who don’t feel that way.

.. we’ll figure it out.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

yeah. me too.

.. i want you to know that you’re not alone. i struggle with that a lot too. and i’ve barely got my life together. but all we can do is try.

i really, really don’t think you’re a bad person, miss battat. you’re just figuring things out.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

.. i’m.. trying, to not think about.. anything. it probably won’t last very long..

[ it’s an active struggle to breathe. hopefully they can direct all of their focus into the conversation. ]

i’m.. i’m really glad you trust me enough to do this.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ while silence looms between them, they just.. stare at her. trying to read her expressions, figure out what’s going on inside her head.. and also just to have an excuse to be looking at her face. ]

i’m sure it’s hard for you..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

you don’t. you’re just unsure of yourself, and.. that’s okay. i’m not gonna hate you for it.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

well.. i do. and i’m the one making this stuff for you, so.. i wouldn’t if you weren’t.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ they’re about to tilt her face to look back at theirs, but.. nevermind. ]

i mean it. i really, really mean it.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

i want to, though—!! you’re really sweet..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ don’t be mean—!! ]

.. making stuff for you has been fun. i wanna do it more.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ it only ever happens when they look at her. not like there’s much else there could be. ]

you’ve, uh.. kinda given me a reason to work on my baking again. so thank you for that.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

[ it really, really does take much for them to start getting flustered around her. they don’t even notice they’re staring until she looks right at them. ]

hHAH, i—, um.. t.. thanks. it’s the least i can do..

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

mm.. ‘made’ feels like a little bit of an overstatement, when it’s just some cream and syrup added to soda..

[ .. of which she made the syrup herself, ]

but. yeah! for you.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 1d

noooo you won’t.

[ .. it’s a drink this time. strawberry cream soda. ]