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@aptendee.bsky.social

120 followers 120 following 580 posts

am i still here? am i still me? ( 🎨; sgtxavi )

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · Sep 9

- TEMP PINNED -

- ban, fandomless oc (mostly)
- she / they
- 22
- fairy…ish creature. 2 feet tall
- living embodiment of anxiety disorder. overly apologetic nervous wreck
- CWs for depictions of panic attacks, mental breakdowns, potential self harm mentions

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 4h

.. thank you.

[ they’re just hoping she can see that. that her listening matters to them, a lot.. ]

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 5h

.. we kinda have to stay optimistic. what else is there.

[ they smile when /she/ smiles. it means a lot. ]

you actually.. listen, to me, it feels like. it’s nice..

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

it’s not easy, figuring out what you want.

but—!! i think.. you just need some support. people are like flowers. and sometimes it takes longer for them to be fully open than others. that’s okay.

.. hah. no pun intended when i say that i’m.. ‘rooting’ for you.

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

[ .. almost every word out of her mouth hits a lot deeper than they thought it would. almost. ]

i’m.. kind of the opposite. i make people feel bad without realizing why, but i don’t know what i’m doing wrong either.. so i get attached to the people who don’t feel that way.

.. we’ll figure it out.

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

yeah. me too.

.. i want you to know that you’re not alone. i struggle with that a lot too. and i’ve barely got my life together. but all we can do is try.

i really, really don’t think you’re a bad person, miss battat. you’re just figuring things out.

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

.. i’m.. trying, to not think about.. anything. it probably won’t last very long..

[ it’s an active struggle to breathe. hopefully they can direct all of their focus into the conversation. ]

i’m.. i’m really glad you trust me enough to do this.

ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

[ while silence looms between them, they just.. stare at her. trying to read her expressions, figure out what’s going on inside her head.. and also just to have an excuse to be looking at her face. ]

i’m sure it’s hard for you..

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 22h

you don’t. you’re just unsure of yourself, and.. that’s okay. i’m not gonna hate you for it.

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 23h

well.. i do. and i’m the one making this stuff for you, so.. i wouldn’t if you weren’t.

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ban @aptendee.bsky.social · 23h

[ they’re about to tilt her face to look back at theirs, but.. nevermind. ]

i mean it. i really, really mean it.

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