Author | Lightnews

Aspartame Valerian

@aspartame.bsky.social

520 followers 610 following 3.1K posts

>INVENTORY You are carrying cup of coffee, tiny dog, stack of books, way too much information about hollow earth theory

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · Mar 26

How they all long to know

my secrets.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 4h

Don’t squirrelate or you’ll get squirrelated.

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 8h

Linguica pizza for the win.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 15h

Interesting. When I was a little girl in the early 80s I hated going to a particular department store because it “felt bad” but I could never articulate what exactly that meant. This gave me some ideas about what I might have been reacting to.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 17h

A French Mt Rushmore featuring this guy and the dude who opened a bottle of wine with his shoe.

CBS News @cbsnews.com · 19h

A French cyclist survived for three days after a horrendous 130-foot fall into a ravine, kept alive by the bottles of red wine he had in his shopping bag, police said.

Cyclist falls down 130-foot ravine in France, survives 3 days by drinking wine he had in shopping bag

A helicopter airlifted him to hospital, with a rescue doctor calling his survival "a miracle."

cbsn.ws

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 17h

Your fur will be so glossy.

Reposted by Aspartame Valerian

Brandon Bird @brandonbird.bsky.social · 17h

Happy Halloween!

Kid in a Philip Seymour Hoffman Costume.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 18h

You got bamboozled.

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 19h

I’m at my parents’ house and the only coffee is… keurig 😭

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 19h

Power went out as I was brewing coffee. I’m being haunted by a Mormon spirit.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 19h

Sick to death of cutting my own fingernails. Can I train some rats to nibble them down?

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 20h

Heee-eeey

John McCafferty @jdmccafferty.bsky.social · 21h

Skeleton draped in a shroud Northern France, c. 1600

(Musée du Louvre)

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 20h

Whatup trout dogs

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve been craving some roast beeves ever since I watched that @joshgondelman.bsky.social video.

Yates @mckee.bsky.social · 2d

“Beeves” is an accepted plural of “beef”

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 2d

This but both characters are me.

Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 2d

Sorry my seasonal depression and your period synced up and we accidentally started a coven that just cries and eats cereal for dinner.

Reposted by Aspartame Valerian

Wyrd Britain @wyrdbritain.bsky.social · 2d

On this day in Wyrd Britain history...
1978 - #Crass recorded their debut album, 'The Feeding of the 5000'. One of the most completely realised debut records of it's era; it's sound and its themes quickly came to define its own sub-genre of punk, and its impact can still be felt today.
#anarchopunk

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Reposted by Aspartame Valerian

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · Oct 31

The saddest thing is when a skeleton is excited to play their own bones for the first time and, just as the cemetery party really gets cooking, it's discovered that they have no rhythm and they are asked to go stand quietly next to the black cat under the tree with the owl in it.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

@justdanthistime.bsky.social Happy birthday, brah.

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

I hope your day is exceptional. In a good way. Need to be specific with wishes.

A tiny white and brown dog in a tiny silver and blue party hat that’s says, “Happy birthday! Love, Pip”

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

Pip would love it.

Reposted by Aspartame Valerian

erika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 4d

when i say 'shred the gnar' this is what i mean

Slimey from sesame Street grinding a half pipe (skateboarding)

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

The goat miller sounds like a ghost story told at Scout camp.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

I am in the process of moving to Boston and it is stressful and I start a new job next week and basically I want to throw up all the time, if you were wondering about me.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 3d

I do not want to eat the goatmeal and you cannot make me.

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Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 4d

ohcrap

Aspartame Valerian @aspartame.bsky.social · 4d

Sourcing someone who can fold hospital corners for my sexy medbed costume.