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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

like a throne of relaxation . . . and the palette is a masterclass in how to properly mix patterns

Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

You may wonder "Why are you posting this, Char, we don't know your bratty old aunt?" The old broad comes on here for perspectives and reads my posts and occasionally reports them. You know, like a sane person.

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

If you live between Oxford St. and Garden St. in Cambridge watch your ass, because my aunt is going to run you over and she's got the law on her side. That's her shapeless bulk on the street view clinging to a parked car near the Graham and Parks School by the way (she can't move her feet too well)

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

My 87 year old aunt SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING and she is going to kill someone or herself driving around the streets of Cambridge and Boston . . . . and there is NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT because she is a gigantic brat, and a former judge. Good luck everyone near Garfield St. Historic District!!

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

Frederick and Edward had a son named Fredward . . . Max and Clark had a son named Mark . . . Aldo and Rex had a son named Alex . . . Bob and Ringo had a son named Ringo . . . Zack and Deke had a son named Zeke . . . Bill and Jeff had a son named Biff . . .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNhX...

STINGRAY SAM. The FREDWARD SONG from episode #2 - Authorized Post by BNS

YouTube video by Cory Mcabee

www.youtube.com

Reposted by Sighing

Farm Goth 🇵🇸 @poemsandfungus.bsky.social · Oct 4

"IT'S BEST TO ASTRAL PROJECT WITH NO CLOTHES ON. SO I DID THIS WHEN NO ONE WAS AROUND. I MADE IT UP TO THE ROOF AND SAID 'YIPPEE!' AND THEN REALIZED I COULDN'T GET DOWN. AND THEN SHE [points to wife] CAME HOME AND I SNAPPED OUT OF IT."

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

goals, tbh, I'd like to step into his shoes one day . . .

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 4

After I officiated my friend's wedding, at the reception I put on his Alf suit and walked around. Literally no one noticed!! I walked around the lawn and pool and no one fucking noticed. I thought it'd be creepy to go in the house and pound on windows at the wedding guests but no one cared.

A Goddam Virginian @goddamvirginian.bsky.social · Oct 4

damn i know it smell crazy in there

An ALF costume the size of a door. Vintage 90s Alf Costume
$80

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 2

I cannot believe the goat man took two boxes of LPs. Truly a remarkable day. My father collected 3000 LPs and I cannot hold on to them and live with the guilt of never playing them. I am a 300 LP person, not a 3000 LP person.

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 2

I see a man with a boat on his trailer and I consider going up to him and talking to him about fishing and asking if he has someone to instruct him on how to back the trailer in just for some more IRL fun times gender role-play but I have a job to do: donate 800 LPs to the goodwill before 8:30

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 2

I say louder "I said hey BABY I like how you wear your SHIRT why not OPEN IT UP a little more I like what I see HUH? Does that hair go all the way DOWN, SCHWEETHEART?" How gratifying to see data center techs look around in fear, panic, uncertainty. Who is doing this to us!! We feel unsafe!
I MENACE

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 2

At Wawa I see 2 uniformed men, one with his shirt partially unbuttoned. "Hey baby I like what I see, why don't you unbutton that a little bit more? Why not go ALL THE WAY??" I call out, seductively. The windows are tinted and the sunroof is open. Who is saying that?? They look around in Panic!!

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 2

My dad is haunting me lately with his giggles. "Let's go get my sisters heheheheheheeeee" then he flies off with his enormous ghostly gut glowing like one of the Scoleri brothers. My father never had a single good word about his 4 sisters. Not a single one, they were his lifelong oppressors.

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 1

My mom just told me that Tucker Carlson wants to give Peter Buttigieg "a test" to see if he is *really* gay and this . . . this pushed me over the edge into Giggle Hollow. I felt Syd Barrett energy in my fingertips as I giggled

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 1

I want a fried pie (x 32)

Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 1

oh my god I used to see these every day!! I saw one painted to be be a blonde on Long Island in like 2017

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Oct 1

He sent him to outer space to find another race . . . and I feel like there was then a plot twist I can't quite put my finger on

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 30

once I was looking at rural tracts of hilly forest land in WV on zillow. there was a massive mountain for sale with nothing on it but a shed-- with a fireplace and bunks, and hundreds and hundreds of bowling pins. despite the lot being entirely wooded you could see someone had been burning the pins

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 30

I am going to get a puffier quilt so I can hide in my bed more effectively and find out even more secrets of the household

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 30

I have been up/dressed for a hours, but for some reason (fun) I turned off the lights and laid flat/camouflaged in the quilts to hide. my mom came in and rattled/dropped a bunch of cans and threw them in *my* recycling, then LEFT? when she didn't see me like she was trying to wake me up?!? wtf ma'am

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 30

the last time I did this I aggressively offered to show everyone the hair to prove my point that they were not "catching" the hair "cmere check this out it's about a yard long and has spots of brilliant copper green"

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 29

I feel like this is about "Seinfeld"

Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 29

DMV Clerk: Steal a car!! Steal a car!! I want you to get in it and drive West. Play the tape full blast. When the tape ends, get out and get into a fight, then get back into the car, come to town and meet me at the Carcass Club. Then, I will let you in to the most prestigious hotel of all time...

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 29

the only "retail establishment" type store I feel nostalgia for is a place called Record Convergence, where you could buy used cassettes and the guy running the register was Shelby Csinka from Frodus. We shop-lifted from Wal-Mart dude, we didn't "enjoy" Wal-Mart, that's for Kimmy Schmidt types

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Sighing @cbenedetto.bsky.social · Sep 29

how do I maintain such joy??? simple!!!! it all starts with catchy little tunes, or hip three minute ditties such as "Hook" by Blues Traveler

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