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Chip Chantry

@chipchantry.bsky.social

910 followers 420 following 980 posts

Comedian, writer, twenty-third President of the United States. Seen on Netflix's TIRES. Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube. https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-

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Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · Nov 15

Hey Blue Sky. Consider taking a short break from reality this weekend, and watch my comedy special, MOVE CLOSER.
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...

Chip Chantry: Move Closer - Full Comedy Special

YouTube video by Chip Chantry

Reposted by Chip Chantry

Mel Stefaniuk @melstefaniuk.bsky.social · 22h

Uh Chip…they’re standing right behind you with the prize

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 22h

(pepper sprays them on instinct)

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 22h

It’s fucking bullshit that those assholes in Europe and all you dipshits didn’t award me the Nobel motherfuckin Peace Prize. Fuck all of you assclowns. EAT SHIT

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 2d

Hey fashion people: What should I wear for an event that is “business professional“? I was going to a department store, but I ended up in this Spirit Halloween.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 6d

For Sale: Baby Shoes; NO IRISH.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 6d

In lieu of flowers, send nicer flowers.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 7d

Diddy gets sentenced to 50 months in prison. This is TERRIBLE. Because now I have to do math.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 8d

Jesus was a billionaire.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 8d

PLEASE REMOVE THIS

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 9d

Now, more than ever, is the time as a nation to Live, Laugh, & Love.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 11d

As a nation, right now, we don’t DESERVE a GOOD bunny.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 12d

See if we can get spots on the late night Naughty Arabia showcase.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 14d

My wife thought I got raptured, but that's RIDICULOUS. I fell down the basement steps on Tuesday, and just woke up.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 15d

Wow. “ICE” just autocorrected to “Zod” and my iPhone has never been so correct.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 17d

We can now ignore everyone who thought they were getting raptured, so they think it worked. WIN/WIN

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 17d

When Trump told the UN that "Your countries are going to hell", in the teleprompter it was definitely spelled "You're".

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 17d

As most of you could guess, my mom took cocaine and handsome pills when she was having me.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Autism: Maybe you're born with it, maybe it CAUSED BY MAYBELLINE.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Autism is caused byyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Mennen.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

The best part of waking up is Folgers causing autism.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Autism is caused by keeping the hot side hot and the cool side cool.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Anyone else notice that autism rates have dropped ever since the Noid went into hiding?

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Trump links women being taken away to Calgon.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Autism is cause by a combination of purple stuff and Sunny D.

Chip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 18d

Autism is caused by breaking off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.