Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
Comedian, writer, twenty-third President of the United States.
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Pinned
Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Chip Chantry: Move Closer - Full Comedy Special
YouTube video by Chip Chantry
youtu.be
Hey Blue Sky. Consider taking a short break from reality this weekend, and watch my comedy special, MOVE CLOSER.
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
Imagine living in a country where this is the big headline
www.bbc.com/news/article...
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Nigella Lawson to replace Prue Leith on The Great British Bake Off
The TV chef says she's "bubbling with excitement" to be joining Paul Hollywood on the Channel 4 show.
www.bbc.com
January 26, 2026 at 7:01 PM
Imagine living in a country where this is the big headline
www.bbc.com/news/article...
www.bbc.com/news/article...
I'm not looking forward to the next Great Depression, but there is something badass about walking down a country road while wearing a tattered suit.
January 26, 2026 at 5:53 PM
I'm not looking forward to the next Great Depression, but there is something badass about walking down a country road while wearing a tattered suit.
Please remember to thank the worst people in your family and the dumbest people from your high school for voting for this.
January 24, 2026 at 9:11 PM
Please remember to thank the worst people in your family and the dumbest people from your high school for voting for this.
But what if there was a MATRIX in the GLITCH …………………..anyway, these CutCo Knives are all high-carbon stainless steel AND dishwasher safe.
January 24, 2026 at 2:17 AM
But what if there was a MATRIX in the GLITCH …………………..anyway, these CutCo Knives are all high-carbon stainless steel AND dishwasher safe.
Imagine saving up two bits in 1923 just to get a decent haircut, and your barbers just stand around harmonizing the whole goddamn time.
The past was awful.
The past was awful.
January 24, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Imagine saving up two bits in 1923 just to get a decent haircut, and your barbers just stand around harmonizing the whole goddamn time.
The past was awful.
The past was awful.
Well, I've done what I could.
-Went to the grocery store to stock up
-Got my shovel & salt ready to go
-Pulled my boots out of the closet
-Prayed to Gornoth, Overlord of Snowfall
-Painted front of my house with raccoon blood
-Lit ceremonial fires on my roof
-Picked up marshmallows for hot cocoa
-Went to the grocery store to stock up
-Got my shovel & salt ready to go
-Pulled my boots out of the closet
-Prayed to Gornoth, Overlord of Snowfall
-Painted front of my house with raccoon blood
-Lit ceremonial fires on my roof
-Picked up marshmallows for hot cocoa
January 23, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Well, I've done what I could.
-Went to the grocery store to stock up
-Got my shovel & salt ready to go
-Pulled my boots out of the closet
-Prayed to Gornoth, Overlord of Snowfall
-Painted front of my house with raccoon blood
-Lit ceremonial fires on my roof
-Picked up marshmallows for hot cocoa
-Went to the grocery store to stock up
-Got my shovel & salt ready to go
-Pulled my boots out of the closet
-Prayed to Gornoth, Overlord of Snowfall
-Painted front of my house with raccoon blood
-Lit ceremonial fires on my roof
-Picked up marshmallows for hot cocoa
Got an iPhone update and I can't stand the format. I feel like my grandmom when the grocery store would change where the bread was.
January 19, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Got an iPhone update and I can't stand the format. I feel like my grandmom when the grocery store would change where the bread was.
Where are the heroes that are going to save this country?
Where is Slap Maxwell?
Where is Slap Maxwell?
January 16, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Where are the heroes that are going to save this country?
Where is Slap Maxwell?
Where is Slap Maxwell?
If you have an embarrassing or harrowing vacation story, or just an embarrassing story in general that would cause you to NEED a vacation, call in to The Sunburnt Podcast. Leave a message with your story- leave your name or keep it anonymous!
310.845.6038
310.845.6038
January 16, 2026 at 2:03 AM
If you have an embarrassing or harrowing vacation story, or just an embarrassing story in general that would cause you to NEED a vacation, call in to The Sunburnt Podcast. Leave a message with your story- leave your name or keep it anonymous!
310.845.6038
310.845.6038
It's weird how doing the German accent when yelling "SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS" is now a think of the past.
January 14, 2026 at 2:44 AM
It's weird how doing the German accent when yelling "SHOW ME YOUR PAPERS" is now a think of the past.
Before, you used to have to use genealogy to find out if your family had Nazis in it. Now, you can just use Facebook.
January 10, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Before, you used to have to use genealogy to find out if your family had Nazis in it. Now, you can just use Facebook.
GOOSE = HAWKINS
GEESE = THE UPSIDE DOWN
GEESE = THE UPSIDE DOWN
January 8, 2026 at 5:22 PM
GOOSE = HAWKINS
GEESE = THE UPSIDE DOWN
GEESE = THE UPSIDE DOWN
Reposted by Chip Chantry
They should call it a raccoon shot.
January 5, 2026 at 12:59 AM
They should call it a raccoon shot.
There's no better feeling than getting a fresh tetanus shot, knowing that for the next couple of years you can just carelessly REACH INTO DUMPSTERS AND FISH AROUND.
January 5, 2026 at 12:54 AM
There's no better feeling than getting a fresh tetanus shot, knowing that for the next couple of years you can just carelessly REACH INTO DUMPSTERS AND FISH AROUND.
Trump is taking over Venezuela because he likes siestas.
January 3, 2026 at 9:43 PM
Trump is taking over Venezuela because he likes siestas.
Well, now I guess I’m NEVER going to be able to start that commune in Guyana.
January 3, 2026 at 3:29 PM
Well, now I guess I’m NEVER going to be able to start that commune in Guyana.
The only way that the Trump Kennedy Center could be doing worse business would be if we let the President put slot machines and craps tables on the floor.
January 1, 2026 at 11:23 PM
The only way that the Trump Kennedy Center could be doing worse business would be if we let the President put slot machines and craps tables on the floor.
2025 ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
December 31, 2025 at 8:55 PM
2025 ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
I cried when I had no shoes, but stopped crying when I saw those videos of couples who constantly prank each other on Tik Tok.
December 30, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I cried when I had no shoes, but stopped crying when I saw those videos of couples who constantly prank each other on Tik Tok.
Reposted by Chip Chantry
I wish there was a Dabney B. Coleman like how there’s a Michael B. Jordan
December 29, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I wish there was a Dabney B. Coleman like how there’s a Michael B. Jordan
Gonna be honest: There are lot fewer Dabneys walking around than I hoped there would be.
December 29, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Gonna be honest: There are lot fewer Dabneys walking around than I hoped there would be.
THE BIRDS ARE PHONING IN THEIR WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!
December 29, 2025 at 12:37 AM
THE BIRDS ARE PHONING IN THEIR WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!