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climp

@climp.bsky.social

490 followers 1K following 900 posts

.·´¯`·.·★ ★·.·`¯´·. Microsoft excel

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 33m

the top ten ways to arrange things you like, ranked

climp @climp.bsky.social · 14h

Oh never mind? OK who else

climp @climp.bsky.social · 14h

Any questions? Yes you in the blue shirt with the bad credit score and undetected heart problem

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 20h

Hey sorry can I call you back later? I was just about to whip my phone into the sea.

climp @climp.bsky.social · 22h

Gentlemen under my leadership we can ensure that no one laughs at the FailArmy ever again.

climp @climp.bsky.social · 22h

Radiohead? Like the band?

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

Another $1,000 and they’ll finally put me on the list of world’s smartest people

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

Mom doesn’t know that or much anything else, but she sure can mash up a mean dog dinner!

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

That tapping sound in the kitchen means mom’s unshelling hot dogs!

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

I have a family history of writing down things that happened

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

There should be a word for people who like pain, but there isnt'

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

Pain is the worst kind of hurt

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

I feel like you took it the wrong way when I said your racism improved a lot

climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

Before we go inside I just want to be clear that everything I own is normal for a person to have and in those amounts

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 1d

Ok smart guy if you aren't drinking blood then why are you throwing up so much of it?

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Reposted by climp

BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 2d

Elegant older woman in a taupe blazer. Text: The doctor doesn't want you to know about this. The doctor has their own needs, will, and lovers' trysts. The doctor misspells words in hasty emails about marrow and sinew. You mustn't blame the doctor for their miseducation in blood orthodoxy. The doctor knows a great many things, but they don't know about my paste.
WHEN THEY WERE LEARNING ABOUT FORCEPS, I WAS MAKING MY PASTE.
ForeverMyPaste.com.
(ive been making my paste the whole time)

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 2d

I like to scream “Kevin” on the plane for a little laugh. Lightens the mood in the cockpit.

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 2d

Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

climp @climp.bsky.social · 2d

No, please, nothing fancy. An ad-supported-tier funeral is good enough.

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 2d

Before telescopes if they wanted to see faraway stuff they’d have to build it way bigger

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 3d

I V X
L C D
* M #
📞

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 3d

False alarm, sir. One guy was just making explosion sounds with his mouth.

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 3d

We can achieve sustainability with my new waterwheel-powered gun

climp @climp.bsky.social · 3d

If there's one thing I know it's what's best for everyone

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climp @climp.bsky.social · 4d

Judging by the bite marks it looks like we have a vampire with, uh, braces

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