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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA

@cumshitter.bsky.social

280 followers 330 following 3.6K posts

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 7h

It owns that neither of these companies has ever been profitable so Silicon Valley geniuses are basically subsidizing a sexual assault charity on top of a predatory business model.

Good job tech bros.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 7h

I’m just going to assume it’s a scammer but somehow they force their way into my notifications with zero interaction.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 7h

Is anyone else getting notifications from this? This account has 2 followers, follows 18, doesn’t tag me, and somehow pops up in my notifications.

I have no idea why. They don’t mention me or anything.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 7h

Wow you can’t sell stock backed by nothing anymore without some finger wagger calling it fraud.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 11h

Consistently placed 2nd and 3rd out of 5 in Smash. Couldn't close it at the end.

Which is fine. It's a game. I won't use my best characters if someone else uses them. Too confusing.

Also more practice for Palutena. Playing a goddess is fun.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

I'm just buzzed from going to Gaymer night at the gay bar but c'mon man, you could have easily turned your biggest, most obvious weakness into a strength.

How did you think the fact that you regularly get shirtless at bars with a totenkampf on your chest would go in a Senate race?????

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

But nah, just let the dice roll. It’s really annoying to schedule an appointment with a tattoo artist or a dermatologist.

Like, I’m busy.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

Basically, "I was your teenage son spouting Andrew Tate shit because I'm a vulnerable youth but as a 28 year old man."

People would eat that shit up.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

"But I learned that was all they could tell me. They couldn't tell me how to make things better. They wanted to use me.

Then I grew up and recognized the humanity of others. So I inked this totenkompf over.

I want to provide healthcare instead of saying it was stolen from you."

So fucking easy.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

I think I could have turned Platner's campaign around.

First, get the tattoo inked over.

Second: "I want to show you something."

*rips off shirt, which he loves to do anyway*

"When I was younger I felt like something was stolen from me. And people online were quick to tell me who to blame."

1/$

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

Like I’m fucking drunk as shit but you could sell that.

“I fell into it because I felt like someone had stolen a good life, a good job, healthcare from me. But I realized they only told me who to blame, not how to fix it.

We need a government that supports working people.”

How do you miss that?

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

But nahhh it’s kind of annoying to schedule a visit to the tattoo parlor or the dermatologist. I’ll just rock the totemkompf and hope none of the hundreds of people I showed it to ever talk to the media.

Just beyond moronic.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 12h

He is just incompetent and could have actually led with,

“I was sucked into the internet naziism that we see in younger people. I was vulnerable and wanted community. But then I grew up and learned to recognize the humanity of others.”

Or some horse shit. It would have been a nice narrative.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 13h

*Trump illegally demolishes the White House*

Dems: Call out pollsters ASAP we need metrics.

Man Schmitt was 100% right when he lolled that you could dismantle democracy in front of a lib’s eyes and they’d never see it.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 14h

This just made me think of when Paul Ryan was speaker and his bill to repeal the ACA failed. He peeled out in his Escalade blasting Rage Against the Machine.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 15h

Yeah I guess in a more rural place where people know each other. But if I walk into a bar in LA and see a bunch of shirtless dudes my first thought is Leather Bar.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 17h

Also he takes off his shirt in bars when he’s had a few which is just weird if it’s not a gay bar.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 17h

The guy is an idiot for not getting it inked over into a black square or lazering it off before his run. He apparently really likes to take off his shirt when he’s drunk so tons of people saw it.

I have to question his intelligence if he thought he could run with this skeleton in his closet.

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 17h

AnimeCon at the White House ballroom let’s do it!

Brian Goldstein @bgoldst.bsky.social · 21h

The classicists are starting to realize that the ballroom is going to be a very bad, clumsy, overscaled building, columns or not. www.nytimes.com/2025/10/21/a...

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 19h

Alt text: an old swastika shaped Coca Cola bottle opener.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 19h

While being violently escorted out of the World of Coca-Cola museum: “I just got it at an estate sale and thought it would be a fun way to enjoy a nice bottle of Coke during my visit how was I supposed to know???!”

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 19h

Someone else noted that they could make an app to use it over your local network but they’re doing it through AWS to collect user data.

What are they even doing with it???

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 20h

Why does a bed need to be connected to the internet? My grandma had a reclining bed for that worked with an attached remote. Seemed to do just fine.

Lindsay Ballant @lballant.bsky.social · 1d

Every night I sleep in a big bed with my boyfriend, and it’s not connected to the internet

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Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 20h

Holding it like a 13 year old at the arcade trying to look cool playing Time Crisis.

Capital Under Management, An SEC Registered RIA @cumshitter.bsky.social · 20h

Read up on this show a while back and it’s insane they didn’t renew it. ABC apparently got a record number of calls and letters from viewers asking to bring it back.