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Hell Iween

@derbren.bsky.social

1.2K followers 710 following 8K posts

books, bikes, cats, cheese, and cinemas. Non-practising German. Unreliable narrator, ready for my close-up. Probably have a crush on you. For more, go here: https://linktr.ee/DerBren

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Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1h

beats Journeyman Compliance Officer

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1h

I aspire to journeyman CEO

Reposted by Hell Iween

Daniel Kennedy @fliglman.bsky.social · 1h

I love reading things from like 1902 where the poor starving writer bashes out an article in one night that pays for 3 months of room and board

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 1h

lol @fliglman.bsky.social imagine getting paid well to write an original article

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

some of it is nice! But it’s not like any of us can afford this stuff.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

omg that was boring. do people actually read these? I don’t get it. Maybe I’m missing an enzyme or something

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

I would like a picture please. low or high contrast, you choose.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

oh, and all of a sudden here is the director of my beloved Bologna Film Festival interviewing Valeria Golino. nice one.

an interview with Valeria Golino about film and fashion

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

They’re doing an original Bavarian Oktoberfest, as was the custom at the time.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

ah.

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

what voice? I don’t understand!

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 2h

even the armchair *detail* is out of focus. this is so wanky and mannered. bring back kitchen sinks. bring back Ken Loach.

an ad for a pricey armchair. a woman lounging in it on the right, on the left a detail of the armchair. you guessed it: the detIl is out of focus, the other pic is low contrast

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

that’s why I didn’t get it

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

“Catherine!”
-“What is it Heathcliff?”
-“Make sure you wear your big coat, it’s stormy tonight”

another moody Max Mara ad of a womN stood in a dramatic landscape, wearing her big coat

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

they’re all doing it: low-contrast lighting that’s creating moody image soup. is this the ultimate thing in luxury fashion? a game of hide-the-clothes?

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

culminating in this ad where they ditched the clothes altogether, and made sure it’s out of focus

a Valentino ad showing two models wearing toghts and hars and wearing heel and carrying handbags. no clothes. the picture is out of focus

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

then there’s all this lighting that’s trying really hard to say “we’re too cool to care about clothes, in fact, we’ll make sure you barely get to see them”

a bunch of expensive fashion photography lit like it’s not important

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

for instance this is like the bits of my camera roll I try to hide when I show people pictues on my phone

a foldout cover filled with passport style portraits of Mikey Madison. She experiments with different expressions

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 3h

got an Italian Vogue at the airport before I flew back. I don’t usually read women’s magazines so not sure what to expect but I think this trying hard to be brat

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 4h

whoa is he a pathological self experiment?

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

I don’t think I’ve tried those brb

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

oooofff

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

these would be my way to go. Sour green apple Os. The one thing Haribo haven’t nailed

a large tub of Trolli Apfelringe

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

I’m not saying it could have happened to me but I’m also not not saying that

Hell Iween @derbren.bsky.social · 7h

Done
bbc.co.uk
for cola bottles" one night so ordered a huge bulk bag online - and ate them over three days.
The bag of gelatin sweets contained almost 11,000 calories and the 33-year-old, from Barnsley, said he was so "bunged up" he could not walk or get out of bed.
Mr Rimmington said: "It's not the cleverest thing I have ever done in my life - I can't even look at a cola bottle now."
"I just couldn't stop eating them," he said.
"The bag was packed to the rafters with cola bottles - like a sandbag."
Even though Mr Rimmington started to feel unwell after day one, he continued to feast on the chewy treats.
He even went for a carvery on the third day, before finishing the bag for dessert.
The next day - Monday - the HGV driver was sweating profusely and "did not feel right", but put it down to the pork he ate.
By Tuesday, he could not walk and was in