Author | Lightnews

James Earl Marsters

@earlofbeverley.bsky.social

310 followers 400 following 1.2K posts

Comedian on stage and online. Normal person otherwise. You liked that thing I said once. He/him 🏳️‍🌈 Beverley/Hull, Yorkshire, UK

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · Nov 13

Alright, it's time to transfer all of this stuff over from the other place. When I'm at a wedding or on holiday, I like to get a picture of me falling down some stairs. I can't explain why but here's a massive thread. The first time this happened was at my cousin's wedding many years ago 1/

A bride, a bridesmaid and two male guests pretending to fall down a staircase in a hotel

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2h

Hull actually gets named a lot in lists of places to visit and press articles about the listings are often condescending about it but this article is pretty positive! 😍

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2h

Nigel Farage absolutely loves an opportunity to do fuck all work

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 8h

I may be speaking out of turn but I don't think that 'get caught noncing: be given a castle' is the precedent we should be setting

The National @scotnational.bsky.social · 1d

King Charles may be planning to send Prince Andrew to a castle in the Scottish Highlands, according to reports 👀

Prince Andrew faces exile to Highland town amid pressure to give up mansion

www.thenational.scot

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 21h

Making tea, I went to cut up an onion and thought 'I think I've got half an onion in the fridge'. I looked in the fridge but couldn't find one so I cut in half the one I had and went to the cupboard where I keep the tupperware etc and there among the empty containers was last night's half-onion

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

Plastic yoghurt pot: ok
Soft plastic film lid: ok
Outer plastic lid: too much plastic apparently

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

What a great milestone but also, can I be arsed to continue? Is it still fun or am I doing one lesson a day just so I don't lose my streak?

The Duolingo owl on fire, in orange with the text: I'm on a 1000 day learning streak!

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

Hard relate! Too many in one go. Overwhelming and yet boring at the same time!

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 3d

Had to look up TLC on Wikipedia and I enjoyed the stat that 31% of the US version's programming is based around the 90-Day Fiance franchise

a woman in a white shirt is sitting on a couch and looking at the camera .

ALT: a woman in a white shirt is sitting on a couch and looking at the camera .

media.tenor.com

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

Nigel Farage is not a British patriot. His politics are American, his rhetoric is 1930s German and his money is Russian

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

This morning, I came out for a countryside ramble and spontaneously started doing the dance from Fatboy Slim's video for Weapon of Choice. Ah, I know what's gone wrong, I've mistakenly worn my Walken shoes

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

News outlets are like 'Americans are protesting over fears the country is sliding into authoritarianism'. Mate, masked police who don't have to show their ID are just disappearing people who 'look foreign'. There's no sliding. The US has slid.

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

The perfect cake: looks really simple but I bet it was an absolute bitch to get right
Well done!

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

Nigel Farage is not a British patriot. His politics are American, his rhetoric is 1930s German and his money is Russian

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

Spending too much time online has ruined so many people's brains. Probably mine too just in different ways

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

I guess I'm saying that effective arguing in these instances should focus on pointing out the other person has the wrong end of the stick rather than convincing them that their incorrect belief is the right thing to do. Now if only the media did nuance

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

Badenoch and Starmer's positions on Maccabi Tel Aviv fans shows that the first question in any debate needs to be "what do you think this issue is about?" No point in arguing it's the right thing to do if one person thinks it's about Jews and the other thinks it's about violent football fans.

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

My thoughts go out to the people of York who are currently dukeless

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James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

If The Muppet Show was made in the UK, Statler and Waldorf would be played by Ian Hislop and Paul Merton

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

(Because I don't know how the law works)

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

If Prince Andrew is giving up all his royal titles, many people would say the only title he has left is The Sweatless Nonce. But not me of course. I wouldn't possibly suggest that.

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 5d

Just overheard the best summary/takedown at Hull Truck Theatre of why the fuss about gender-neutral toilet is pointless. An old woman came back from the loo and said to her husband 'I went to the all-gender ones to see what they were like and basically they were just toilets'. Yep

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 6d

I get it but this type of thing will always make me think of this:
bsky.app/profile/brai...

Take the clown statue and get out! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!! @brainmage.bsky.social · Oct 18

Don't know who needs to hear this, but

Unclench your jaw

Let your shoulders drop

Liquefy all your connective tissue for the nutrients

Slither bonelessly off your chair

Wick yourself up the walls through capillary action

Envelop the room

Become a new god

Become a new god

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

Peter Chilvers @peterchilvers.com · 6d

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

50 1K 2.7K

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 6d

I'm really pleased that York and Toulouse are in Super League next year. Both are beautiful cities and great clubs. But what was the point of an additional panel to elect them when they could've just had the top 14 in the IMG rankings with the same outcome?

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 6d

Aagh! No spoilers!