Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

James Earl Marsters

@earlofbeverley.bsky.social

310 followers 400 following 1.2K posts

Comedian on stage and online. Normal person otherwise. You liked that thing I said once. He/him 🏳️‍🌈 Beverley/Hull, Yorkshire, UK

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · Nov 13

Alright, it's time to transfer all of this stuff over from the other place. When I'm at a wedding or on holiday, I like to get a picture of me falling down some stairs. I can't explain why but here's a massive thread. The first time this happened was at my cousin's wedding many years ago 1/

A bride, a bridesmaid and two male guests pretending to fall down a staircase in a hotel

2 1

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 23h

Nigel Farage is not a British patriot. His politics are American, his rhetoric is 1930s German and his money is Russian

2 4

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 7h

This morning, I came out for a countryside ramble and spontaneously started doing the dance from Fatboy Slim's video for Weapon of Choice. Ah, I know what's gone wrong, I've mistakenly worn my Walken shoes

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 7h

News outlets are like 'Americans are protesting over fears the country is sliding into authoritarianism'. Mate, masked police who don't have to show their ID are just disappearing people who 'look foreign'. There's no sliding. The US has slid.

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 7h

The perfect cake: looks really simple but I bet it was an absolute bitch to get right
Well done!

1 1

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 23h

Nigel Farage is not a British patriot. His politics are American, his rhetoric is 1930s German and his money is Russian

2 4

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

Spending too much time online has ruined so many people's brains. Probably mine too just in different ways

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

I guess I'm saying that effective arguing in these instances should focus on pointing out the other person has the wrong end of the stick rather than convincing them that their incorrect belief is the right thing to do. Now if only the media did nuance

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

Badenoch and Starmer's positions on Maccabi Tel Aviv fans shows that the first question in any debate needs to be "what do you think this issue is about?" No point in arguing it's the right thing to do if one person thinks it's about Jews and the other thinks it's about violent football fans.

1 2

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

My thoughts go out to the people of York who are currently dukeless

1 2 18

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

If The Muppet Show was made in the UK, Statler and Waldorf would be played by Ian Hislop and Paul Merton

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

(Because I don't know how the law works)

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

If Prince Andrew is giving up all his royal titles, many people would say the only title he has left is The Sweatless Nonce. But not me of course. I wouldn't possibly suggest that.

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 1d

Just overheard the best summary/takedown at Hull Truck Theatre of why the fuss about gender-neutral toilet is pointless. An old woman came back from the loo and said to her husband 'I went to the all-gender ones to see what they were like and basically they were just toilets'. Yep

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

I get it but this type of thing will always make me think of this:
bsky.app/profile/brai...

Take the clown statue and get out! WE DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS!!! @brainmage.bsky.social · Oct 18

Don't know who needs to hear this, but

Unclench your jaw

Let your shoulders drop

Liquefy all your connective tissue for the nutrients

Slither bonelessly off your chair

Wick yourself up the walls through capillary action

Envelop the room

Become a new god

Become a new god

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

Peter Chilvers @peterchilvers.com · 2d

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

50 1K 2.7K

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

I'm really pleased that York and Toulouse are in Super League next year. Both are beautiful cities and great clubs. But what was the point of an additional panel to elect them when they could've just had the top 14 in the IMG rankings with the same outcome?

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

Aagh! No spoilers!

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 2d

UK media: @zackpolanski.bsky.social is a lunatic and the Greens will never win anything and that's why we're spending so much time talking about how you shouldn't listen to any of his stupid plans... no Jeremy, let me finish... what we need is more of the same so people don't get ideas

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 3d

The rules around how rugby league clubs qualify for next season's Super League are a bit complicated but essentially it all comes down to one main rule: be mates with Nigel Wood

1 4

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 3d

The rules around how rugby league clubs qualify for next season's Super League are a bit complicated but essentially it all comes down to one main rule: be mates with Nigel Wood

1 4

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

Everyone’s Favourite Jim @jimmeruk.bsky.social · 4d

They just released Home earlier this year and it's a great album. James is right, you can hear the influences. If I didn't know better, I'd think this album was fifty years old, and that's a good thing.
(I've seemingly transitioned to a Ting Tings stan account now btw).

1 1 3

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

Ah the latest album is awesome! Fleetwood Mac/Steely Dan vibes

1 1

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · 4d

Wake me up when AI can answer the question "what day did I open that tofu in my fridge?"

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

James Earl Marsters @earlofbeverley.bsky.social · Jan 3

"Luke Littler" is what a Yorkshire dad tells his kids when he's trying to get them to pass as under 10s to save money at a theme park

1 1

Reposted by James Earl Marsters

Tollytb🇮🇪🇪🇺🇨🇦🇬🇧 @tollytb.bsky.social · 7d

"Do you still get paid in Roubles Ted?"
🐢💨

3 91 320