Jack Bernhardt
@jackbern.bsky.social
Informative and sexy at the same time!
Writes for Horrible Histories, Dogs In Space, Amazing World of Gumball; also talks a lot on podcasts (Taskmaster The People's Podcast, Football Book Club)
he/him
Writes for Horrible Histories, Dogs In Space, Amazing World of Gumball; also talks a lot on podcasts (Taskmaster The People's Podcast, Football Book Club)
he/him
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
once again we are all tapping the sign
January 9, 2026 at 11:45 PM
once again we are all tapping the sign
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
I can't believe J.D. Vance went on TV and said "Ich bin Evil! Ich bin Evil!!! Ich bin der Evil kleine Chocolate Boy!!" with chocolate smeared all over his mouth and lederhosen. But he did. And we all saw it
January 9, 2026 at 11:03 PM
I can't believe J.D. Vance went on TV and said "Ich bin Evil! Ich bin Evil!!! Ich bin der Evil kleine Chocolate Boy!!" with chocolate smeared all over his mouth and lederhosen. But he did. And we all saw it
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
really feels like Becca Good saying “go get some lunch, big boy” is when he snapped. the kind of man who joins ICE is absolutely the kind of man who thinks women should die for saying things like that. they absolutely crash out when we aren’t cowering in fear and making them feel scary & powerful
To paraphrase Margaret Atwood…”men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them”
January 10, 2026 at 12:04 AM
really feels like Becca Good saying “go get some lunch, big boy” is when he snapped. the kind of man who joins ICE is absolutely the kind of man who thinks women should die for saying things like that. they absolutely crash out when we aren’t cowering in fear and making them feel scary & powerful
I think Trump fears being ignored in death more than anything else. he wants to be remembered but he has nothing of value to create, so instead he will live forever as the man who destroyed it all. better to be hated than forgotten
REPORTER: The Capital Planning Commission is concerned the 89,000 square foot ballroom is going to dwarf the rest of the rest of the WH. Do you worry about that?
TRUMP: No no. People love the ballroom. We need it. If we would've had the ballroom today, we could've had all the oil companies there.
TRUMP: No no. People love the ballroom. We need it. If we would've had the ballroom today, we could've had all the oil companies there.
January 10, 2026 at 12:09 AM
I think Trump fears being ignored in death more than anything else. he wants to be remembered but he has nothing of value to create, so instead he will live forever as the man who destroyed it all. better to be hated than forgotten
just seen the video and I genuinely can't believe they leaked the video thinking that it helps their cause in any way? it's horrific
MAGA ghouls are so totally detached from reality that they think a video depicting a murder that ends with the killer calling the victim a "fucking bitch" somehow exonerates them with the general public
January 9, 2026 at 9:51 PM
just seen the video and I genuinely can't believe they leaked the video thinking that it helps their cause in any way? it's horrific
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Started watching Big Fat Quiz of Telly and they've done another fucking bit of this. Barely any laughs. Stop this, @channel4.bsky.social. Stop it. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Big Fat Quiz and Last Leg of Christmas both did "hehe, we asked AI to do a thing" and it's as funny as "I'm going to read an excerpt from 50 Shades of Grey" that every shit open spot did a decade ago. Stop it. Stop it. I'll tag 'em. Hey, @channel4.bsky.social, hey. HEY. Stop it.
January 9, 2026 at 9:41 PM
Started watching Big Fat Quiz of Telly and they've done another fucking bit of this. Barely any laughs. Stop this, @channel4.bsky.social. Stop it. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
January 9, 2026 at 5:04 AM
me telling everyone that I've run over a beloved American genre-smashing musician
January 9, 2026 at 2:28 PM
me telling everyone that I've run over a beloved American genre-smashing musician
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
If you've got 15min to spare you can listen to the comedy history show i co-wrote/co-produced/am in a little bit. It's kiddie friendly, available worldwide, there's 15 episodes, here's one about the brontes! www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...
You're Dead to Me - Dead Funny History - The Brontës - BBC Sounds
Tragedy and triumph in the Brontë story.
www.bbc.co.uk
January 9, 2026 at 2:26 PM
If you've got 15min to spare you can listen to the comedy history show i co-wrote/co-produced/am in a little bit. It's kiddie friendly, available worldwide, there's 15 episodes, here's one about the brontes! www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...
someone should have slapped the guy who came up with the name for custard creams. is it custard? no. is it cream? no. it's a biscuit. grow up
January 9, 2026 at 2:18 PM
someone should have slapped the guy who came up with the name for custard creams. is it custard? no. is it cream? no. it's a biscuit. grow up
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
I can’t join ICE because I once gave a woman an orgasm 😔
January 9, 2026 at 2:07 PM
I can’t join ICE because I once gave a woman an orgasm 😔
Venus Williams is very calm on court, but her sister's serener
January 9, 2026 at 1:44 PM
Venus Williams is very calm on court, but her sister's serener
[thoughtfully] america is a land of contrasts. some people shoot other people in the face, other people get shot in the face. isn't there a way we can all live in harmony and peace? yes, by letting the people who shoot other people in the face win. because ultimately, that is america
New CBS News anchor Tony Dokoupil closing the broadcast from MN last night.
January 9, 2026 at 11:16 AM
[thoughtfully] america is a land of contrasts. some people shoot other people in the face, other people get shot in the face. isn't there a way we can all live in harmony and peace? yes, by letting the people who shoot other people in the face win. because ultimately, that is america
what is this personal attack????
What is up with people (often on podcasts) who laugh at the end of every sentence, regardless of content? It’s the verbal equivalent of the work email’s “No worries if not!”
January 9, 2026 at 11:04 AM
what is this personal attack????
gathering around a warm fire inside a cave, waiting for the grand chief ug to come back with the latest mammoth kill. also phones were really big
Without revealing your actual age,what's something you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand?
January 9, 2026 at 10:51 AM
gathering around a warm fire inside a cave, waiting for the grand chief ug to come back with the latest mammoth kill. also phones were really big
UPDATE YOUR WILL!
January 9, 2026 at 9:26 AM
UPDATE YOUR WILL!
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Worth reading
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
If Black contestants get a raw deal on The Traitors, that definitely is reality TV | Athena Kugblenu
We shouldn’t be surprised when our experiences on competitive TV shows or the football field are consistent with everyday life, says comedian and writer Athena Kugblenu
www.theguardian.com
January 9, 2026 at 8:48 AM
Worth reading
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Remember: what Trump and his administration are doing is only possible because Congress and the Supreme Court have abdicated their proper constitutional functions of check and balance.
January 9, 2026 at 12:04 AM
Remember: what Trump and his administration are doing is only possible because Congress and the Supreme Court have abdicated their proper constitutional functions of check and balance.
"I only pay for X for the monetisation features, not the CSAM" is the paedophile version of "I only get Playboy for the articles"
January 9, 2026 at 8:43 AM
"I only pay for X for the monetisation features, not the CSAM" is the paedophile version of "I only get Playboy for the articles"
I know people say "satire is dead" a lot but if you wrote a sketch where a tech company's solution to an AI creating nonconsensual sexual images was "make it a premium subscription", it would be thrown out for being too on the nose
maybe i'm being dense but seems like you can still create abusive or exploitative sexual content via Grok, but you have to pay for the privilege? www.theguardian.com/technology/2...
Grok turns off image generator for most users after outcry over sexualised AI imagery
X to limit editing function to paying subscribers after platform threatened with fines and regulatory action
www.theguardian.com
January 9, 2026 at 8:30 AM
I know people say "satire is dead" a lot but if you wrote a sketch where a tech company's solution to an AI creating nonconsensual sexual images was "make it a premium subscription", it would be thrown out for being too on the nose
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
The greatest achievement of my entire epistolary career was the day I got two letters printed on the same page.
A good deed and a crush, telling a single, increasingly horrifying, story from two unconnected people.
A good deed and a crush, telling a single, increasingly horrifying, story from two unconnected people.
October 17, 2023 at 9:24 AM
The greatest achievement of my entire epistolary career was the day I got two letters printed on the same page.
A good deed and a crush, telling a single, increasingly horrifying, story from two unconnected people.
A good deed and a crush, telling a single, increasingly horrifying, story from two unconnected people.
Reposted by Jack Bernhardt
Iranian women are the bravest people on Earth.
January 8, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Iranian women are the bravest people on Earth.
I'm going to keep refreshing this feed until there's some GOOD NEWS. that's right. I'm dying here
January 8, 2026 at 11:31 PM
I'm going to keep refreshing this feed until there's some GOOD NEWS. that's right. I'm dying here
whenever Claudia says "well done you've banished another faithful" or "hope you're happy they've murdered another faithful" I'd be like "THAT'S ON YOU CLAUDIA. YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN. YOU SET ALL OF THIS UP. YOU COULD STOP THIS AT ANY MOMENT AND THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU."
January 8, 2026 at 11:26 PM
whenever Claudia says "well done you've banished another faithful" or "hope you're happy they've murdered another faithful" I'd be like "THAT'S ON YOU CLAUDIA. YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN. YOU SET ALL OF THIS UP. YOU COULD STOP THIS AT ANY MOMENT AND THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOU."