Claire Willett
@clairewillett.bsky.social
Chaos Muppet. Raconteuse. The internet’s gay Catholic aunt. Covering arts philanthropy at orartswatch.org. Writing books and plays at clairewillettwrites.com. Mentoring lefty grantwriters at tinyurl.com/8thHousePDX. “Notable internet lesbian.”
Pinned
Reposted by Claire Willett
Spoke to my source familiar with internal workings at Mastercard. The holiday call campaign re payment processor censorship is working, there is a lot of pressure being felt from your calls. This is resulting in increased response times at a core moment for Mastercard due to the holiday season
November 24, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Spoke to my source familiar with internal workings at Mastercard. The holiday call campaign re payment processor censorship is working, there is a lot of pressure being felt from your calls. This is resulting in increased response times at a core moment for Mastercard due to the holiday season
okay hang on let me unlock the vault since you said it so nicely
November 25, 2025 at 7:19 AM
okay hang on let me unlock the vault since you said it so nicely
Reposted by Claire Willett
My fav Shakespeare thing is how Henry IV part 2 starts with Majel Barrett Roddenberry saying, "Previously on Henry IV..." and there's a clip reel ending with Hotspur yelling "FIRE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
November 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
My fav Shakespeare thing is how Henry IV part 2 starts with Majel Barrett Roddenberry saying, "Previously on Henry IV..." and there's a clip reel ending with Hotspur yelling "FIRE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
Then Majel's voice: "And now, the conclusion."
they’re all like “ban gender affirming medical care!!! except for us cishet men whose power under patriarchy requires us to constantly maintain a dangerously unnatural standard of performative masculinity the human body cannot support without turning orange and veiny”
November 25, 2025 at 5:12 AM
they’re all like “ban gender affirming medical care!!! except for us cishet men whose power under patriarchy requires us to constantly maintain a dangerously unnatural standard of performative masculinity the human body cannot support without turning orange and veiny”
Reposted by Claire Willett
An ICE agent was caught removing a sign marking an ICE kidnapping in DC last week! Do we think he did it out of anger, embarrassment, or most appropriately shame? If you think what you’re doing is right, why are you trying to hide the evidence? 👀
November 24, 2025 at 2:49 PM
An ICE agent was caught removing a sign marking an ICE kidnapping in DC last week! Do we think he did it out of anger, embarrassment, or most appropriately shame? If you think what you’re doing is right, why are you trying to hide the evidence? 👀
this is what I do!
November 25, 2025 at 4:56 AM
this is what I do!
Reposted by Claire Willett
Phil Knight is almost single handedly funding the OR GOP, one of the more extreme state GOPs in the country. Keep that in mind next time you’re in the market for sportswear or sneakers. www.oregonlive.com/politics/202...
Nike co-founder Phil Knight makes record-setting donation to help elect Republicans
It is the single largest donation Knight has made to an Oregon candidate or political action committee.
www.oregonlive.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Phil Knight is almost single handedly funding the OR GOP, one of the more extreme state GOPs in the country. Keep that in mind next time you’re in the market for sportswear or sneakers. www.oregonlive.com/politics/202...
I’m fine with sidelining Nick Fuentes and Tucker Carlson! but I have some notes on everything else
November 25, 2025 at 4:45 AM
I’m fine with sidelining Nick Fuentes and Tucker Carlson! but I have some notes on everything else
well the vast majority of Americans are legally allowed to eat pierogi so obviously Alan Dershowitz does not represent us
"elevate charismatic figures such as Alan Dershowitz"
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November 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
well the vast majority of Americans are legally allowed to eat pierogi so obviously Alan Dershowitz does not represent us
omg okay it is extra funny to flub a holiday food item that has like MAJOR NARRATIVE SIGNIFICANCE this is very funny
I love the idea that just for a split second someone maybe thought like “am I so powerful I can just eat straight horseradish”
I love the idea that just for a split second someone maybe thought like “am I so powerful I can just eat straight horseradish”
November 25, 2025 at 4:41 AM
omg okay it is extra funny to flub a holiday food item that has like MAJOR NARRATIVE SIGNIFICANCE this is very funny
I love the idea that just for a split second someone maybe thought like “am I so powerful I can just eat straight horseradish”
I love the idea that just for a split second someone maybe thought like “am I so powerful I can just eat straight horseradish”
the truly shocking number of people out here just swooning over this man with their whole chest reminds me of how I could never see those magic eye puzzles in the 90s
my eyes don’t do that, sorry! I can’t see the handsome man in this picture
my eyes don’t do that, sorry! I can’t see the handsome man in this picture
November 25, 2025 at 4:36 AM
the truly shocking number of people out here just swooning over this man with their whole chest reminds me of how I could never see those magic eye puzzles in the 90s
my eyes don’t do that, sorry! I can’t see the handsome man in this picture
my eyes don’t do that, sorry! I can’t see the handsome man in this picture
I did this once to an officemate who hated Leonard Cohen
she was like “Jesus that’s a long song” after I had quietly looped “Hallelujah” about seventeen times
she was like “Jesus that’s a long song” after I had quietly looped “Hallelujah” about seventeen times
November 25, 2025 at 4:31 AM
I did this once to an officemate who hated Leonard Cohen
she was like “Jesus that’s a long song” after I had quietly looped “Hallelujah” about seventeen times
she was like “Jesus that’s a long song” after I had quietly looped “Hallelujah” about seventeen times
oh yeah but I wasn’t even surprised by that. I think I put “not counting Fox Robin Hood” in the post because it’s simply too universal 😂 I don’t trust anyone who wouldn’t hit that!!!!!!!
November 25, 2025 at 4:25 AM
oh yeah but I wasn’t even surprised by that. I think I put “not counting Fox Robin Hood” in the post because it’s simply too universal 😂 I don’t trust anyone who wouldn’t hit that!!!!!!!
keeping it absolutely 100 with you, I would wear that coat in 2025
November 25, 2025 at 2:54 AM
keeping it absolutely 100 with you, I would wear that coat in 2025
i'm SCREAMING this is incredible
November 25, 2025 at 2:50 AM
i'm SCREAMING this is incredible
isaac chotiner confronted me with my medical records which say I am actually 5'6 and a half even though I've been telling people I am 5'7 for decades because my sister is 5/6 and three-quarters following a growth spurt in her 20s but i still spiritually identified as taller than her
isaac chotiner came to my house and tricked me into admitting we weren’t out of ice cream in front of my five year old daughter
November 25, 2025 at 2:48 AM
isaac chotiner confronted me with my medical records which say I am actually 5'6 and a half even though I've been telling people I am 5'7 for decades because my sister is 5/6 and three-quarters following a growth spurt in her 20s but i still spiritually identified as taller than her
this is the best Bluesky replies party I've ever thrown since I asked about everyone's childhood nonhuman animation crushes and learned what freaks you all were for Tim Curry as toxic waste
yes, hello, I would like to place an order for everyone’s funniest stories of holiday food-related family grudges / drama / chaotic incidents / lore
I feel like we need this
I feel like we need this
November 25, 2025 at 2:42 AM
this is the best Bluesky replies party I've ever thrown since I asked about everyone's childhood nonhuman animation crushes and learned what freaks you all were for Tim Curry as toxic waste
I have simply never been that committed to either a meal or a job
November 25, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I have simply never been that committed to either a meal or a job
I am so sorry for laughing but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
November 25, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I am so sorry for laughing but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
honestly this is the way. let the pros handle it. we've gotten it down to a pretty good system where everyone in the family is in charge of the same thing every year which we all know they make well, and we've never had a flop since
November 25, 2025 at 2:35 AM
honestly this is the way. let the pros handle it. we've gotten it down to a pretty good system where everyone in the family is in charge of the same thing every year which we all know they make well, and we've never had a flop since
this one broke me
just the most sitcom hijinks energy
just the most sitcom hijinks energy
When I was 4, I fell through a weird gap in the stair railing into the large pan of turkey drippings. It took my mom over a week to get all the grease out of my hair.
yes, hello, I would like to place an order for everyone’s funniest stories of holiday food-related family grudges / drama / chaotic incidents / lore
I feel like we need this
I feel like we need this
November 25, 2025 at 2:24 AM
this one broke me
just the most sitcom hijinks energy
just the most sitcom hijinks energy
I'm unqualified to judge here because I always like my food to have been just a little bit more on fire than custom dictates
the Willetts are pretty evenly divided on marshmallows between "Gently Toasted Golden" and "Paraded Around As Flaming Torch" and I'm on team blackened marshmallow
the Willetts are pretty evenly divided on marshmallows between "Gently Toasted Golden" and "Paraded Around As Flaming Torch" and I'm on team blackened marshmallow
November 25, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I'm unqualified to judge here because I always like my food to have been just a little bit more on fire than custom dictates
the Willetts are pretty evenly divided on marshmallows between "Gently Toasted Golden" and "Paraded Around As Flaming Torch" and I'm on team blackened marshmallow
the Willetts are pretty evenly divided on marshmallows between "Gently Toasted Golden" and "Paraded Around As Flaming Torch" and I'm on team blackened marshmallow
I love this so much
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I love this so much