Author | Lightnews

Röhl Welcomed, Execs Walloped, Norwegians Await

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 1d

LATEST VIDEO: Been a whole lotta Rangers pressers this week after very little football all season. Can Tuesday's bloodletting please preface a return to Europa League competence tonight.

Danny Röhl: the umlaut, the clout; the routing of the doubt.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 2d

LATEST VIDEO: I'd say "new video" but there's been six of these in the last five years.

@godlessbitch.bsky.social

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 2d

When it emerged last week Danny Roehl had withdrawn from the running for the Rangers job, I was flicking thro the visitors book of the cottage we'd rented in Skye. A guest earlier this year was from Zwickau... birthplace of Danny Roehl. He was always going to Ibrox. Oh yes. Twas fated. Twas WRITTEN!

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 3d

👌🎸🎸💪💪💪

Reposted by Alex Anderson

Glasgow Rangers Chat @glasgowrangerschat.bsky.social · 4d

Scarf pic!

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Everlast2 @everlast2.bsky.social · 4d

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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 5d

1
Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area

2
Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction

3
Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it

Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…

4
Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely

[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over

5
Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat

[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster

Minister:
I understand your concerns…

6
Nurse:
Are you OK love?

Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters

7
Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian

[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]

Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love

8
Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to

[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]

9
Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR

[woman looks baffled]

10
woman:
I just want a bus service

Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]

[ends]

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Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 4d

Oh, Danny Rohl: the flutes, the flutes are calling...

Rangers 2-2 Dundee Utd: immediate post-match reaction

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 4d

SATURDAY'S VIDEO: in which I slander Kevin Muscat who, 24 hours later, decided he didn't want to be our head coach... exactly eight days after Steven Gerrard decided he didn't want to be our manager... 24 hours after I podded my indifference to his return.

The fatter I get the more I influence.

Reposted by Alex Anderson

scha·den·freu·de 💀 @blisterpearl.bsky.social · 5d

WHEN YOU SPEND $61M ON YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY MILITARY PARADE

(photo of a sparsely occupied field)

WHEN A DAY IS DEDICATED SOLELY TO TELL YOU WHAT A DICK YOU ARE

(SO SO SO many people)

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Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 5d

😂😂 it's a hard habit to break

#protest-ants

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 5d

Come on, it is actually hilarious.

#Muscat

Reposted by Alex Anderson

Carole Cadwalladr @carolecadwalla.bsky.social · 5d

Just remembered this post. And realised it has a very different resonance now.

We now know his close friend and ally Nathan Gill was accepting Russian bribes when he posted this

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Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 5d

Double blow for Old Firm fans this weekend. Coming off second best to the city of Dundee while allowing Edinburgh a chance to steal the top flight title we've lovingly shared for 40 years. Consolation cuddles all round in Glasgow.

Reposted by Alex Anderson

Ron Filipkowski @ronfilipkowski.bsky.social · 6d

The war zone in Portland is out of control.

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Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 6d

Never been to Skye before this week. Know plenty who have. I now resent every one of those people for not telling me. Okay, aye, they did "tell" me. But I clearly wasn't listening. They should have made me listen. Richey Edwards to Steve Lamacq-style. Or a gun to my head. Something much louder.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 6d

Watched a six min vid on Kev's time in China, while sat in the Morrisons Fort William car park, as participants from the Mod, between recitals, dotted in front of the car in North Face jackets over their Highland dress, and the Harry Potter train shunted into the station behind. I'm, erm, on board.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 8d

Yeah, Kevin Muscat. He sounds like a guy that hates woke. Let's get him in. Danny Rohl has only worked with RB Leipzig, Bayern and the German national team. What the fuck do they know about coaching.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 7d

He was criminal negligence personified as a player. Dangerous. Danny Rohl is the one I'm gutted about. But I have a 100% incorrect record in predicting who we need as manager so Muscat is bound to be a glorious success.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 7d

He was here a whole six months longer as a player than Russell Martin but he was here in a treble-winning season, not one of those embarrassing seasons that didn't happen, and the way he kicked people makes him unlikely to vote Green or practise Buddhism. It's a sound, sane, rational methodology.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 8d

Maybe a cruise is the way to go with St P: less need to deal with local officials. Anyone I talk to says Vancouver and Montreal are sensational do I need to go back to Canada. Love Rothesay! Been to Cumbrae about twice but, growing up in Ardrossan, I'm obsessed with Arran. Took me til 56 to do Skye😀

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 8d

Sounds like a lovely cruise. Did Rome in 1999 on that same Italy trip. Where I asked her to marry me so if it can make someone dizzy enough to say yes to this then it must be magical. Have a brilliant time. Yeah, Putin has kinda taken over the States at an "admin" level so we're avoiding fo now.

Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 8d

Skye is graphic novel Scotland. Just ridiculous. Has to be made up.

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Alex Anderson @fateck.bsky.social · 8d

As a player he was a crackpot. Not hard, more psychotic. Can't help thinking this will spill into his managerial style yet so many of our fans think this is "exactly what we need". We definitely need something to transform a domestic malaise now four years old. Just not sure he's it.