Short Fuse
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fn0rdpr3fect.bsky.social
Short Fuse
@fn0rdpr3fect.bsky.social
75 followers 170 following 350 posts
Feral garden gnome He/They Cranky and middle-aged Meanjin
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It's a gorgeous evening.
Successfully installed our fancy new retractable garden hose with minimal bloodshed (I lost my balance while crouching, tipped over and sliced open a knuckle on my way down)
#winning
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Reposted by Short Fuse
Stop using Halloween as an excuse to dress like a slut. You should be dressing like a slut every day.
Eldest kiddo is throwing a huge Halloween bash tomorrow night and has talked me up to all their friends, who are now under the mistaken impression that I am cool
*urge to make beef Wellington with foraged mushrooms rises*
Reposted by Short Fuse
Fucking Get A Watch You Cunting Fuck Wanks It's 6:00PM
Ta :) Ironically, my husband had a business shirt many years ago made from a nearly identical fabric... Nearly cried when I dug through the rag bag in our shed and it was already cut up
24 hours ago, it was raining sideways and we were being pelted by hail. Now the air is thick with bushfire smoke and the sun is like blood.
Scored this sick button-down at my local dollar store
WHEEEEHEEEEHEEEE
TROPICAL STORM SEASON IS UPON US
Spotted in Aldi. Don't even know how to use the bloody things 🤷
Reposted by Short Fuse
"Oxford commas are a sign you write with ai" I will find such a unique way to rip out your spine that they'll make a movie about it
Reposted by Short Fuse
🕯 🎃
👻 🦇

🕸️ Con O'Neill ⁺₊✧
Halloween
🧛‍♂️ selfie 👻

💀 🧡
🔮 🐈‍⬛
Weekly Friday afternoon cuppa with the in-laws 🖤
Q: What do you call a large spider that's missing two legs and is running the gauntlet in a three-cat household?

A: VERY PISSED OFF.

(Click for a pic if you dare)
A well-known and much-loved elderly homeless gentleman who camped in his car in our neighbourhood passed away today. The kindness and empathy shown to him over the years by this little community I've called home since childhood warms my soul.
Vale.
Husband switched on the overhead light while I was happily pottering about in our darkened kitchen doing my bee chores

He was *not* prepared for the shrieking and hissing that followed.
Postage might be a bit exxy, alas (I'm in Australia).
OMG
I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER THANKYOU 😍