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swearclock ⌚︎

@swearclock.bsky.social

2.3K followers 5 following 5.8K posts

Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform

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swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1m

Stick A Fish Up My Arse And Call Me Kipper It's 9:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1h

Wipe Your Dribbly Willy On Gary Numan's Hair Whilst Singing 'Cars'. It's 8:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 2h

Soapy Tit Wank In Baby Oil It's 7:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 3h

Trumpet Polishing It's 6:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 4h

"Why Am I Chubby And Have Wispy Blond Hair?" "Because, Little Johnny, Six Years Ago, Your Mum Acquainted Herself With Boris Johnson's Fucking Cock" It's 5:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 5h

Up To My Arm In Piss It's 4:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 6h

Piss Out My Arse It's 3:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 7h

Do A Jobby In Your Hands And Then Clap Like An Excited Lady At The Opera It's 2:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 8h

Let's Hear It For The Cunts! It's 1:00AM

1 3

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 9h

Pinch My Nipples It's 12:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 10h

Netflix And Titwank It's 11:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 11h

Here She Cums, She Cums In The Fall. And You Should Learn To Wank Before You Crawl It's 10:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 12h

Piss In Your Sister's Corn Flakes It's 9:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 13h

Drown Mark Kermode In A Commode It's 8:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 14h

I Dreamed A Dream Of Horse Cum Pie It's 7:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 15h

Turn Your Scrotum Inside Out And Call It Dominic It's 6:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 16h

Spunk Off The Top Of The Empire State Building And Hit A Tourist It's 5:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 17h

Pleasure Yourself By Imagining What The Levellers' Tour Bus Smells Like It's 4:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 18h

Just Fuck Off, Cunt Face. It's 3:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 19h

Beef Curtains It's 2:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 20h

Slow Roast A Dogs Arsehole And Serve It To Your Grandmother It's 1:00PM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 21h

Oh Fuck Off Amanda Holden It's 12:00PM

1 6

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 22h

Post My Minge To Newcastle It's 11:00AM

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 23h

Untie My Pubes It's 10:00AM

2 2

swearclock ⌚︎ @swearclock.bsky.social · 1d

Ram, Cram, Slam And Jam, It's 9:00AM