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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 2h

Crap. I forgot to bring something to read at lunch.

I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 3h

Got a weird email on my govt account. Not a phishing email but still kinda weird. IT Security says it's okay, but I'm still not going to Wash DC to sign for a package that can't possibly be for us.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 4h

Boss, about someone who wants to appeal a disciplinary action: She already done got wrote up a buncha times. How's she gonna appeal? She don't hardly speak no English.

I try not to be a grammar snob, but by gods. Don't criticize a person's 2nd language when you're barely speaking your first.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 4h

Would that even be necessary for The Two Twinks?

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 4h

If you want information from me, maybe don't be snippy in your email.

I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 5h

I feel like crap today. Don't know if it's a reaction to one of the vaccines, if I caught a cold, or if it's lack of sleep last night because my sleep schedule is messed up due to multiple naps over the weekend.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 14h

Just snorted whisky out my nose. 0 stars Do not recommend

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 17h

Just like golden retrievers but less smart

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 19h

I see you've read my business proposal.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 20h

How does Cora not realize that O'Brien is a conniving, backstabbing gossip?

I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you’ll never watch again, and one song you can’t stand

Pickles (Don't even think about pickles while making my food)

The Counselor (Don't watch this movie without a therapist on speed dial)

Aqualung (Huge Tull fan. Not that one)

Addy Bross 🌈 they/xe @aebrossbooks.bsky.social · 1d

Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you’ll never watch again, and one song you can’t stand

Cilantro (technically a garnish, but it tastes like soap 😖)

The Dark Knight (just didn't hit w/me)

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time (just typing it has me heated 😤)

Jo Conklin Author @joconklin.com · 1d

Introduce yourself using only one food you refuse to eat, one movie you’ll never watch again, and one song you can’t stand

Raw oysters (tastes like a congealed loogie from a drowning victim🤢)

John Wick (puppy murder😭)

Do They Know it’s Christmas by Band Aid (70%+ of the world ISN’T CHRISTIAN 🙄😤)

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Turns out, I am having stir-fry. I just ordered it.

I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

People who recommend "stir-fry" as an easy meal to make grossly overestimate my skills.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

I just saw a purchase on my Prime account for Moulin Rouge. I know I'm waiting for several pre-ordered books, but pretty sure that's not one of them.

And then I saw the Venmo payment from Oldest. I keep forgetting the kids have access to my acct. 🤣

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

My mom had one just like it, which is why I stopped at that vendor's stall.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

That sounds like an ice skating move to me. Soon, someone will break the record with a triple-Rico Dowdle!

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

My last first date didn't appreciate my love of Kate Spade designs, despite the fact that she was carrying a Kate Spade purse and had claimed to love shopping.

There was no 2nd date. (That wasn't the only reason but it was the 1st red flag.)

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

I'm doing a great job with my task of resting today. I'm proud of me.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Now we just need first dates, don't we? 😆😭

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Fuck yeah! I'm covetous of that!

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Parental guilt. It's awful. 🫂

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

Yum! At the top of my errands list for tomorrow is a trip to the "fancy" wine store. I'm completely out of vermouth and they have best selection. My bottle of Campari is languishing in the fridge.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

I think this would be perfect for a first date. If you can't handle me at my wooden purse, you don't deserve the rest of my fabulousness.

A wooden purse that resembles an old chest.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

I'm glad my apartment is almost completely shaded. Yes, it can be gloomy but it helps keep the cost of AC down.

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I saw dead people but I have an alibi @isamclaren.bsky.social · 1d

I'm in that sweet spot when neither AC nor heating is required. It's wonderful.

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