Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷
@jacobgood.bsky.social
220 followers 130 following 1.9K posts
Former mathletic superstar and gifted child. Current schmuck. Agronomist and aspiring author. Views expressed are my own...and possibly of other people who agree with those expressed views.
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jacobgood.bsky.social
"Oh my god, how did that get there?" I say, as I know exactly how it got there and which member of al-Qaeda is going to be so angry when I don't show up at the docks tonight.
jacobgood.bsky.social
He's currently in a throuple with a cub barely out of high school and an octogenarian member of the Swedish royal family...and they're inviting you to join them at their side of the bar.
jacobgood.bsky.social
Russia and China are investing heavily in Africa so they can be the world leaders in rare-earth minerals. Meanwhile, we are twiddling our thumbs.
jacobgood.bsky.social
But our politicians are pro-life! Well...pro-birth, at least. And pro death penalty. And against all of the things that affirm a happy life.

I hate it here.
Reposted by Guy Who's Trying ⁸⁶⁴⁷
altacadia.bsky.social
We 💯 support Amphifa! Give me ribbety, or give me death. 🐸
A poster for "Amphifa: amphibians against fascism" showing a black and green flag with a green frog Three protestors dressed in inflatable frog costumes holding a sign that says "Portland frog brigade"
jacobgood.bsky.social
🎵 Heroes in my tummy-tum
Tortellini power! 🎶
jacobgood.bsky.social
singing "Teenage Mutant Ninja Tortellinis" in my head
jacobgood.bsky.social
...this is art. My sides hurt from laughing.
jacobgood.bsky.social
I'm so angry about it. I mean, I'm a very patient guy, but I've had it with these people, namely George Soros. I've never received a paycheck for the No Kings rally I attended months ago. What the hell? Why would I even bother protesting if not for money? What else is there?
jacobgood.bsky.social
I'm old enough to remember the Antifa Rally of 1776, when radical leftists said they didn't like the shackles of the King.
jacobgood.bsky.social
This is most likely true. He does use phrases like, "Biden crime family."
jacobgood.bsky.social
I asked one of my coworkers why he voted for Trump and he said, "Immigrants. Get 'em out of here." I need to ask him about this one.
jacobgood.bsky.social
I can't wait to see the reaction of my fellow Idahoans, most of whom voted for Trump because he would get rid of immigrants. HILARIOUS.
jacobgood.bsky.social
Our Health Secretary is using Mad Libs to diagnose illness.

[Medical surgery] causes [disorder] because [family member] took [OTC medicine]!

Wart removal causes Legionnaire's because Grandma took Preparation H!
jacobgood.bsky.social
The Man in Black, flipping off the camera and filming a concert inside Folsom Prison is uncool? Give me a fucking break. How do these idiots get journalism jobs?
jacobgood.bsky.social
I don't care for trains. I mean, as transportation they would be great, but I'm not obsessed with them.
jacobgood.bsky.social
Please visit the website. It's worth it. She calls God "Daddy/God." So demented.
jacobgood.bsky.social
They have an idea of a plan of a thought of a mental note of a brainstorm.
jacobgood.bsky.social
Is this fat-shaming me AND idiot-shaming me at the same time? Jeez. Okay, so I dropped out of college because I couldn't concentrate or "go to classes" or "study for exams" like the neurotypicals. That doesn't make me fat! It's the pizza and ice cream that make me fat.
jacobgood.bsky.social
Now hold on. I love the idea of my $100 medication being free AND sent with a check for 400 dollars.