Author | Lightnews

Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 1h

I once remarked in the Netherlands that Americans get it confused with Denmark — small country, speaks English, windmills, below sea level, exports cheese — and their response was some kind of slur for the Danish

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 2d

Folks should look up Fritz Haber. The German Jew who invented poison gas (!), enthusiastically personally deployed it on the battlefield, drove his wife to suicide, and invented cheap nitrogen fertilizer that now feeds 4 billion people

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 2d

I think scolding someone for making a pun makes you look silly like the foregoing SpongeBob
(I am 40 and this meme is outdated)

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 2d

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 3d

I made bread in Florida once and I will never make bread in such perfect temperature and humidity again :(

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 3d

A lot of people don’t know the reason Jews don’t get tattoos is because of a deep familiarity with schlimazel comedy

Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 3d

Tried to put here a clip of “oy, and I do not say this lightly, gevalt!” from Long Story Short, but apparently finding unauthorized clips on YouTube has been enshittified.

Anyway watch that show. (See what you’re missing out on by taking down clips, Netflix?)

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 3d

You have no idea how bad EU1 was

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 4d

Found a Dutch person

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 4d

I am genuinely curious whether running attractive 30-ish women might be a secret weapon. All people want to do is talk about women under 40. Maybe all our candidates should be Kats.
I mean, I’m a guy who became a liberal because the girls I liked couldn’t possibly be wrong. Maybe it’s just me?

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 4d

It’s always Chicago because it’s big but nobody in The Media has been there

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 5d

Too soon

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Reposted by Angry Cephalopod

Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 5d

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Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area

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Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction

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Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it

Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…

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Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely

[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over

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Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat

[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster

Minister:
I understand your concerns…

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Nurse:
Are you OK love?

Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters

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Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian

[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]

Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love

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Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to

[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]

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Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR

[woman looks baffled]

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woman:
I just want a bus service

Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]

[ends]

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 5d

Always thought it was odd that the first book was very much a blend of hard sci-fi and ‘washed-up alcoholic cop’ hard-boiled neo-noir and then they just… dropped the noir stuff. It worked fine because their readers all wanted the hard sci-fi but it’s weird if you think about it too much

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 5d

This was actually the original meaning of “tar baby” in the folk story — the more br’er rabbit fights the decoy made of tar, the more stuck he gets — but enough people thought it sounded like a racial slur that I guess they turned it into one

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 5d

The parallels are striking but one big difference is that you could make a reasonable argument that less than 100% of Napoleon III’s governing agenda was a complete failure in both concept and execution

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 6d

Buddy wait until you find out what famous mathematician Lazare Carnot liked to do with guillotines

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 6d

“Agree with the hot chick reading a Judith Butler book and then marry her” worked for me

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 6d

At least under mercantilism the sovereign hoarded gold which could be used for like, mercenaries or something. The U.S. government is now attempting to “no take, only throw” U.S. dollars

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 7d

My guess is they are more scared of the personal consequences of pissing off the emperor than any actual political fallout

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 7d

Hey everybody, this fuckin guy loves fascism and bone cancer. Get ‘em!

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 8d

Emails

Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 8d

There’s nothing that savvy people didn’t know in 2015, so it will be a half-day story because journalists don’t want to be cringe. Even though 99% of people don’t know and would like to know.
No joke, we’re better off with a constant low buzz about a scandal that never actually breaks

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Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 8d

I spent 30 years angrily baffled by that title before I learned Fly was an adjective

Angry Cephalopod @jephalopod.bsky.social · 8d

Now you know why @pghguy.bsky.social’s screen name is so good

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