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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
170 followers 250 following 1.8K posts
Musician, writer, zinemeister, essayist…I just keep making stuff, whether I want to or not. he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙 https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · Aug 11
I’m making another bad decision, and I need your help!

I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.

Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
A poster with a dog’s butthole featured between two blocks of text on a purple/pink background The SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival • Submissions must be under 30 seconds, up to 20 seconds for the movie and up to 10 seconds for a title card and end card/credits • Title card and end card/credits required, I can create if necessary • I am available upon request to edit footage • Real movie feel preferred but not required • Any genre is admissible • Unrated! Go nuts with pushing the envelope as long as it's still legal! • That said...NO AI. It's gross. • Feel free to ask questions! • Submit to giggab@gmail.com by AUGUST 31
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 9h
I’ve met her, can confirm.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 11h
We’re all Jesses when there’s hole on the line.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 11h
Liz Phair side eye
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 12h
What if we kissed under the bisexual lighting Jaguar mouth with Willow Nightingale sitting in it? 🤼‍♂️
As described above, this is an NFL Jaguars’ logo’s mouth lit in blue and purple-pink, with Willow Nightingale sitting in it A paused progress bar and some limbs of Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight are visible
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 12h
It’s strangely tantalizing…
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 12h
C’mon…did you have to give her the Pac-hole?
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 13h
(By the by, a wonderful, silly, macabre movie for the first two acts, and then a cruel nightmare of a third act.

Also, the whole thing is in French. It rules as long as you stop watching at the right time!)
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 13h
Oooh, he’s got a Baxter!
A VHS copy of Baxter, with a white bull terrier thinking: "I AM BAXTER. I THINK THAT MY LIFE WOULD BE MUCH EASIER IF I DIDN'T NEED PEOPLE. BIRDS AND CATS, THEY DONT NEED ANYONE, THEY TRUST NOTHING. PERHAPS ONE DAY I'LL KILL ONE..." and the review quotes: "ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR" —Vincent Canby, THE NEW YORK TIMES "FASCINATING AND LACED WITH MALICIOUS HUMOR" —VILLAGE VOICE and the tagline: Beware of the dog that thinks.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 14h
I know he was impossible to hate and we all wanted our cowboy to find peace, but…god, I just wish we’d gotten to spend more time with the worst version of Hangman. I miss the fire burning the kindness out of his eyes.
venusleo.bsky.social
Moni 💫🇵🇸 @venusleo.bsky.social · 19h
transitions that give you psychic damage
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 21h
It’s me.

Hi.

I’m a penis, it’s me.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 21h
This one’s on me for remembering I wanted to tune in at 10:30, then completely forgetting until 11:30, then getting sucked into posts about Mike Quackenbush after I opened up Bluesky to find the link until 12:30.

But I’m watching now! Join me!
declouxj.bsky.social
Justin Decloux @declouxj.bsky.social · 22h
You could be watching this right now at secretcinematheque.com
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 21h
A blank image of the Ice T “they’re calling it _____” meme
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 21h
Quack was sometimes a genius, sometimes an asshole, but always a freaking dork.
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Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
I wasn’t aware of the Fresno Nightcrawler before tonight, but now I am and yeah you did.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
I fully support what Gretchen’s saying here, she should still be working for DC and it’s a short-sighted and idiotic tragedy that she’s not.

It’s also rad to see Kyle Starks has finally gotten a big enough break to be dragged as mainstream sludge.
scumbelievable.bsky.social
Gretchen Felker-Martin 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 2d
No shade to any of the Vertigo relaunch writers, but this is what the lineup looks like with me no longer in it, lol.
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
Two shinies in one week…wild stuff.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
I’m not a picture guy, so one of my few pics with a wrestler is with Ashley Remington because he acted excited and called me over because he wanted a picture with me! Amazing character, amazing dude.

Also, hell yeah on the transition!
Awkward short-hair Jesse doing his best to match the buttery smooth cool energy of Ashley Remington, as both guys point at the camera
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
Just to clarify, his opponent in my clip is a different dude, Archibald Peck. That said, 2014 Chuck Taylor may as well be a whole other guy too with how different his energy was in Chikara.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
She’s got Christmas covered. I want to see an album hitting the other holidays just as hard. An Easter song that hits #1 every year, only to be knocked out by her April Fool’s banger skyrocketing to the top again.

Maybe Mariah is the power we need to finally put a holiday in August!
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Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
Low-key one of the best characters Chikara ever had. I think about this little wiggle all the time.
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Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
I don’t know if he did it every time, but it *was* a regular thing! I bummed a Granny Smith off a losing Drew Gulak at a later show!
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
Each
Time
I
Sleep
I'm
Sad
I
Will be replaced by somebody else

In the morning
Exactly like me
Going around, drinking all my drinks
Kissing my wife
Thinking what I think
Making me resentful but

Each
Time
I
Get up in the morning
I'm glad
I
Took
Someone else's place

youtu.be/FSbEOZY7k20?...
They Might Be Giants - Sleep (Official Audio)
YouTube video by ParticleMen
youtu.be
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
I forgot about the nipple shirt. Utterly unhinged choice.
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
The Jags beat the Chiefs in primetime…that’s gotta be worth at least one controlled explosion.
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Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
I WAS WRONG.