Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
Musician, writer, zinemeister, essayist…I just keep making stuff, whether I want to or not.
he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙
https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙
https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
Pinned
Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
· Aug 11
I’m making another bad decision, and I need your help!
I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.
Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.
Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
*sigh*
Here comes Fap Foop.
Here comes Fap Foop.
February 13, 2026 at 12:48 PM
*sigh*
Here comes Fap Foop.
Here comes Fap Foop.
My big one is probably seeing Office Space on opening weekend and seeing it take over public consciousness a few years later. Josie and the Pussycats, too.
But my personal flex is Pootie Tang three times even though it was only in the theater for five days. Shortest theatrical run I’ve ever seen.
But my personal flex is Pootie Tang three times even though it was only in the theater for five days. Shortest theatrical run I’ve ever seen.
Have asked this before and always like the responses. What are your biggest “I saw that in the first run cinema” flexes? Couple of mine:
Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
Office Space (1999)
Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
Office Space (1999)
February 11, 2026 at 11:23 PM
My big one is probably seeing Office Space on opening weekend and seeing it take over public consciousness a few years later. Josie and the Pussycats, too.
But my personal flex is Pootie Tang three times even though it was only in the theater for five days. Shortest theatrical run I’ve ever seen.
But my personal flex is Pootie Tang three times even though it was only in the theater for five days. Shortest theatrical run I’ve ever seen.
Age verification?
When I was a kid our VCR looked like this, except boxier.
When I was a kid our VCR looked like this, except boxier.
February 10, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Age verification?
When I was a kid our VCR looked like this, except boxier.
When I was a kid our VCR looked like this, except boxier.
Fuckin’ got my ass with this one. Oof.
Netflix's Ranma 1/2 adaptation won't feature any magical transformation, but the protagonist will feel a strange emptiness when he looks in the mirror sometimes
(Source: tinyurl.com/bd6x4eu6
(Source: tinyurl.com/bd6x4eu6
February 10, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Fuckin’ got my ass with this one. Oof.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
"On a sliding scale from 'have sex with pringles' to 'let us spy on you or your dog dies', where you at?"
February 9, 2026 at 2:30 PM
"On a sliding scale from 'have sex with pringles' to 'let us spy on you or your dog dies', where you at?"
I’m signed up to sell again in April and I want to make something new to sell. What should I work on?
-Issue 7 of my bad ideas zine These Are All Inadequate
-Volume 2 of my Dumb Erotica™
-A Nancy Drew-in-her-40s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure
-Some other solo zine that I haven’t even considered yet
-Issue 7 of my bad ideas zine These Are All Inadequate
-Volume 2 of my Dumb Erotica™
-A Nancy Drew-in-her-40s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure
-Some other solo zine that I haven’t even considered yet
February 9, 2026 at 4:15 AM
I’m signed up to sell again in April and I want to make something new to sell. What should I work on?
-Issue 7 of my bad ideas zine These Are All Inadequate
-Volume 2 of my Dumb Erotica™
-A Nancy Drew-in-her-40s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure
-Some other solo zine that I haven’t even considered yet
-Issue 7 of my bad ideas zine These Are All Inadequate
-Volume 2 of my Dumb Erotica™
-A Nancy Drew-in-her-40s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure
-Some other solo zine that I haven’t even considered yet
Fees is short for feces. #SemiTimelyCommentaryOnASuperBowlAd
February 9, 2026 at 2:14 AM
Fees is short for feces. #SemiTimelyCommentaryOnASuperBowlAd
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Super Bowl is short for Super Butthole.
.
𝘚𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦™ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦.
.
𝘚𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦™ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦.
December 27, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Super Bowl is short for Super Butthole.
.
𝘚𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦™ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦.
.
𝘚𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦™ 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Guys you gotta take reindeer organs
February 6, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Guys you gotta take reindeer organs
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
this is what it sounds like when i am reading the news headlines of the day
April 19, 2025 at 5:07 AM
this is what it sounds like when i am reading the news headlines of the day
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
New reaction just dropped
February 4, 2026 at 8:59 PM
New reaction just dropped
Watching this makes me hope he protected himself and it’s just a really good sell, but also I know how this story ends so I know I’m fooling myself.
February 3, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Watching this makes me hope he protected himself and it’s just a really good sell, but also I know how this story ends so I know I’m fooling myself.
Regarding that last retweet, The Day The Conducator Died (A Xmas Song) has been floating through my head pretty often lately…
www.treblezine.com/scott-walker...
www.treblezine.com/scott-walker...
February 3, 2026 at 3:12 PM
Regarding that last retweet, The Day The Conducator Died (A Xmas Song) has been floating through my head pretty often lately…
www.treblezine.com/scott-walker...
www.treblezine.com/scott-walker...
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
i think about Benito Mussolini’s death like 6-9 times per day
February 3, 2026 at 2:19 PM
i think about Benito Mussolini’s death like 6-9 times per day
This is a Scott Steiner pose in yam form.
February 2, 2026 at 1:25 AM
This is a Scott Steiner pose in yam form.
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
would you believe i could not find any clips of the workout routine from blippo+ on youtube so i made one myself & now i expect us all to do this every morning
January 26, 2026 at 3:37 AM
would you believe i could not find any clips of the workout routine from blippo+ on youtube so i made one myself & now i expect us all to do this every morning
I saw God come down from on high, his finger reaching out to me. My own finger reached up. Upon contact I tasted the divine and saw the fabric of everything. I opened my mouth to tell you what I witnessed but no words came out. No words could express this grand design, but the truth found its way.
January 29, 2026 at 12:13 AM
I saw God come down from on high, his finger reaching out to me. My own finger reached up. Upon contact I tasted the divine and saw the fabric of everything. I opened my mouth to tell you what I witnessed but no words came out. No words could express this grand design, but the truth found its way.
I ended up at the mall over the weekend and used a few sales to do a bit of cheap gender exploration, which means it’s time for a Monday night fashion show!
(I should have bought one more top.)
(I should have bought one more top.)
January 27, 2026 at 1:14 AM
I ended up at the mall over the weekend and used a few sales to do a bit of cheap gender exploration, which means it’s time for a Monday night fashion show!
(I should have bought one more top.)
(I should have bought one more top.)
I got the time wrong and missed the first hour of this, tragically missing my own video by about three minutes. I’m happy to report it seemed to get a warm reception when I watched the copyright-muted replay!
The rest of the show was a wonderful time, and I’m already planning for the next one.
The rest of the show was a wonderful time, and I’m already planning for the next one.
January 26, 2026 at 6:13 PM
I got the time wrong and missed the first hour of this, tragically missing my own video by about three minutes. I’m happy to report it seemed to get a warm reception when I watched the copyright-muted replay!
The rest of the show was a wonderful time, and I’m already planning for the next one.
The rest of the show was a wonderful time, and I’m already planning for the next one.
Oh hell yeah. Wrestlecrap is always welcome in this house.
Snowed in today? Well, why not kill some time by checking out my latest video taking a look at the Canadian Pro Wrestling Sitcom Learning the Ropes
youtu.be/b4OdoAQZH7w
youtu.be/b4OdoAQZH7w
The Story of Learning the Ropes: The 80s Pro Wrestling Sitcom
YouTube video by Pop Culture Hyperfixations
youtu.be
January 26, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Oh hell yeah. Wrestlecrap is always welcome in this house.
I’m watching #AEWCollision a day late, ruminating on my newfound revelation that Bam Margera is older now than his dad Phil was when Jackass was on TV.
January 25, 2026 at 4:14 PM
I’m watching #AEWCollision a day late, ruminating on my newfound revelation that Bam Margera is older now than his dad Phil was when Jackass was on TV.
ISIS?
ICE is.
ICE is.
Trying to come up with catchy phrases, unfortunately to a lot of people the word “American”
means cool and powerful so maybe that wasn’t the right wording. How about simply…
ICE is ISIS
means cool and powerful so maybe that wasn’t the right wording. How about simply…
ICE is ISIS
ICE is the American ISIS
January 25, 2026 at 3:38 PM
ISIS?
ICE is.
ICE is.
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.
…
I MEAN I FEEL ATTACKED BUT THAT’S ACCURATE.
…
I MEAN I FEEL ATTACKED BUT THAT’S ACCURATE.
January 25, 2026 at 4:23 AM
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.
…
I MEAN I FEEL ATTACKED BUT THAT’S ACCURATE.
…
I MEAN I FEEL ATTACKED BUT THAT’S ACCURATE.