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Lyndon Baines Johnson

@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social

3.8K followers 180 following 2.1K posts

This account is a parody. Label applied on the advice of Abe Fortas, Esq. Due to ongoing disputes with management, all messages here are reviewed by Fortas and Associates LLP before posting. FAQ: https://tinyurl.com/bdfw9kwf

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · Aug 4

Actually, as the first talk of college football begins, we've done you the service of updating our guide to Texas college football, who you are allowed to root for, and whom you're obligated to root against. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

They're easy to spot too because they're the god damn badasses all tricked out in their Houston Texans gear. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

The Chicano Squad is so historically recent all of them are still alive. They hang out at the Tacquerias on Navigation Blvd. You can find them on Sunday morning at Villa Arcos or Villa Maria. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

We think of this as being just part of the classic, bureaucratic stupidity of HPD. Right up there with the fact that HPD didn't have a single detective who coukd speak Spanish (IN **HOUSTON**) until the 1980s. -OS

doubtingt.bsky.social @doubtingt.bsky.social · 1d

these are your friends either:
www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston...

Houston police ICE calls surge 1,000% since Trump took office, records show

HPD called ICE 107 times since Trump took office — mostly after traffic stops — as policy on administrative warrants fuels fear among immigrants.

www.houstonchronicle.com

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

OU still sucks.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

Heh, fuck them Sooners.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 1d

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 2d

We understand philosophically that Houston technically extends all the way out to Beltway 8. But we don't care. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 2d

No relationship will ever be strong enough to get you cross 610 for it. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 2d

The Houston version of breaking it off because you live in NY and they're bridge and tunnel is you live inside the loop and find out they in Jersey Village. Nope. Don't need that. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 3d

Republicans will unfortunately get away with all kinds of horseshit they say about trans folks because its "new" and theres enough people who just don't know anybody or anything about it. But, Jesus Christ, you're not rolling back gay marriage without political consequences.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 4d

One thing that lets you know the kids are alright is that like every generation before them they still geek out on late 18th century sailing ships and our lesson the USS Constitution and the Barbary Wars and War of 1812 still slays. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 4d

Besides, Cornyn was totally fucked before Wesley Hunt jumped in.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 4d

The NRSC just has no grounds whatsoever to be upset with Wesley Hunt. Take it up with the Texas Lege. They took the one Black Republican in the caucus out of Houston and would've made him stand for a primary with the White Man's Union of Tomball.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 8d

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 11d

Those little old Texas ladies are like the craftsman-built bungalos in the Houston Heights. One of a kind and timeless. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 11d

G'mar chatima tovah. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 11d

As we gear up for atonement, we'll leave you, dear readers, with this thought till next sundown -- if we are the people of the book. Who define ourself by the laws, and the humility to submit to them, then Israel itself and its enablers have forsaken the book. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 12d

You know the Nazis also liked to grease men up or stuff them into Hugo Boss and circle jerk over it.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 12d

The late Senator Daniel Inouye, whom I thought Hubert Humphrey should've made his running mate, would want to dump these people like Hegseth and Noem off an aircraft carrier into the middle of the Pacific.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 13d

The only thing I got from that bizarre speech is that I think Hegseth jerks it to dudes.

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 13d

Our new joke for this academic year is that if you turned in an assignment that is very obviously 100% AI generated, we just pop your assignment into Chat GPT and have it generate your feedback. Robots get robot grading, human's will get the human. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 18d

They're also hooked into this world because they are the sellers of the "Republican lifestyle." There isn't much margin for them in selling $30K sedans to "soyboy" liberals. Their margin is found in selling a $90K Raptor truck to a cop on $0 down note. -OS

Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 18d

And they've long been very reactionary and heavily Republican because it just speaks to their identities. They're "job creators," the put-upon local big wig who sees all these huge and "vaguely" liberal market forces working against them and their interests. -OS

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Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social · 18d

The owners of car dealerships are and long have been (since the 1960s) one of the most politically activated groups of "small business" owners in the US because their whole world depends upon this web of state and federal statutes and regulations that restrict manufacturers from direct sales.

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