Lyndon Baines Johnson
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social
This account is a parody. Label applied on the advice of Abe Fortas, Esq. Due to ongoing disputes with management, all messages here are reviewed by Fortas and Associates LLP before posting.
FAQ: https://tinyurl.com/bdfw9kwf
FAQ: https://tinyurl.com/bdfw9kwf
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Actually, as the first talk of college football begins, we've done you the service of updating our guide to Texas college football, who you are allowed to root for, and whom you're obligated to root against. -OS
LBJ's favorite dog, Yuki, was found by Luci, abandoned at a gas station between Austin and Stonewall on Thanksgiving Day, 1966. -OS
November 27, 2025 at 8:18 PM
LBJ's favorite dog, Yuki, was found by Luci, abandoned at a gas station between Austin and Stonewall on Thanksgiving Day, 1966. -OS
Happy Thanksgiving-WJ
November 27, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Happy Thanksgiving-WJ
Bo French is just your run of the mill Fort Worth idiot.
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social nuts up and down the political ladder
A prominent Texas Republican is running for Railroad Commission in order to fight the "Islamic invasion." He's vying for a seat vacated by a former commissioner, who is now running for Texas Comptroller on a vow to protect girls' sports.
The latest on Texas' (increasingly Islamophobic) primaries:
The latest on Texas' (increasingly Islamophobic) primaries:
November 26, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Bo French is just your run of the mill Fort Worth idiot.
Inevitably, it will climax on Friday night as dad breaks the TV with a beer bottle screaming "This is not UT football!" As mom profusely apologizes to their guests and then calls the daughter in tears saying she understands why she didn't come home this year. -OS
This week fuels the pure id of Texas Conservatism. Going to be a lot of angry dads and drunk moms in the greater suburban sprawl this week because junior got arrested for buying coke from a valet and their daughter at UT went to her boyfriend's Thanksgiving in Palo Alto. -OS
November 25, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Inevitably, it will climax on Friday night as dad breaks the TV with a beer bottle screaming "This is not UT football!" As mom profusely apologizes to their guests and then calls the daughter in tears saying she understands why she didn't come home this year. -OS
This week fuels the pure id of Texas Conservatism. Going to be a lot of angry dads and drunk moms in the greater suburban sprawl this week because junior got arrested for buying coke from a valet and their daughter at UT went to her boyfriend's Thanksgiving in Palo Alto. -OS
November 25, 2025 at 6:08 PM
This week fuels the pure id of Texas Conservatism. Going to be a lot of angry dads and drunk moms in the greater suburban sprawl this week because junior got arrested for buying coke from a valet and their daughter at UT went to her boyfriend's Thanksgiving in Palo Alto. -OS
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
Dallas is the capital of the soulless state of Baja Oklahoma. Seven million people worth of strip malls and bitumen. As Anatolia is to Europe and Asia, linked to both but connected to neither.
November 25, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Dallas is the capital of the soulless state of Baja Oklahoma. Seven million people worth of strip malls and bitumen. As Anatolia is to Europe and Asia, linked to both but connected to neither.
Reposted by Lyndon Baines Johnson
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social @kevinmkruse.bsky.social This country used to make things
November 25, 2025 at 1:31 AM
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social @kevinmkruse.bsky.social This country used to make things
Ah... nothing signals fall in Houston quite like getting wacked in the forehead by an oak acorn. -OS
November 24, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Ah... nothing signals fall in Houston quite like getting wacked in the forehead by an oak acorn. -OS
Going out of its way to justify the group chat's disdain for Dallas -- of course a plan to invade Haiti for sex slaves was hatched by two guys named Tanner and Gavin in the Metroplex. -OS
www.justice.gov/usao-edtx/pr...
www.justice.gov/usao-edtx/pr...
North Texas men indicted in the Eastern District of Texas for an international murder/kidnapping scheme
Two north Texas men have been charged in relation to a plot that included invading an island off Haiti, murdering the men on the island, and using the women and children as sex slaves, announced U.S. ...
www.justice.gov
November 24, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Going out of its way to justify the group chat's disdain for Dallas -- of course a plan to invade Haiti for sex slaves was hatched by two guys named Tanner and Gavin in the Metroplex. -OS
www.justice.gov/usao-edtx/pr...
www.justice.gov/usao-edtx/pr...
Sorry guys, because Thanksgiving is usually around November 22, we will only be gathering in Texas cities that *didn't* murder JFK. -OS
Have a circle of friends around the state who get together for Thanksgiving. This year Dallasites insist on hosting but no one is going. "Why will no one come to Dallas?" sat unaswered in the group chat for 2 days until... "no one wants to go to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving." -OS
November 24, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Sorry guys, because Thanksgiving is usually around November 22, we will only be gathering in Texas cities that *didn't* murder JFK. -OS
We know where this is going to end -- San Antonio. Because everyone will inevitably agree that when its 75 degrees outside the place we all want to be is drunk on the River Walk. -OS
Have a circle of friends around the state who get together for Thanksgiving. This year Dallasites insist on hosting but no one is going. "Why will no one come to Dallas?" sat unaswered in the group chat for 2 days until... "no one wants to go to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving." -OS
November 24, 2025 at 9:13 PM
We know where this is going to end -- San Antonio. Because everyone will inevitably agree that when its 75 degrees outside the place we all want to be is drunk on the River Walk. -OS
What's important is that Houston is 150 miles further south from Oklahoma than Dallas. -OS
Downtown Houston is a whopping 10 miles farther from the Sabine River than Downtown Dallas is from the Red River.
two men in suits and ties are standing next to each other in front of a fire hose .
Alt: Maxwell Smart (Agent 86) explains to the Chief (in the 1960s spy spoof TV series, "Get Smart"), "Missed it by that much," while indicating a tiny distance between his thumb and index finger as an example.
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 9:12 PM
What's important is that Houston is 150 miles further south from Oklahoma than Dallas. -OS
By our own personal map, an acceptable tostada and or margarita cannot be found North of IAH. We really try to avoid venturing north of Beltway 8 if we can help it. -OS
Oh, dang. Houston is more Texas than Dallas? I had no idea.
November 24, 2025 at 9:01 PM
By our own personal map, an acceptable tostada and or margarita cannot be found North of IAH. We really try to avoid venturing north of Beltway 8 if we can help it. -OS
Have a circle of friends around the state who get together for Thanksgiving. This year Dallasites insist on hosting but no one is going. "Why will no one come to Dallas?" sat unaswered in the group chat for 2 days until... "no one wants to go to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving." -OS
November 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Have a circle of friends around the state who get together for Thanksgiving. This year Dallasites insist on hosting but no one is going. "Why will no one come to Dallas?" sat unaswered in the group chat for 2 days until... "no one wants to go to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving." -OS
More photos from John F. Kennedy not being shot in Houston, Texas 62 years ago. -OS
November 24, 2025 at 5:53 AM
More photos from John F. Kennedy not being shot in Houston, Texas 62 years ago. -OS
Wow, Twitter's new location feature is really accurate. -OS
November 23, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Wow, Twitter's new location feature is really accurate. -OS
JFK survived the benzene and petrochemical explosions in Houston but not the people in Dallas. -OS
This weekend we observed our favorite holiday. November 22, which is national Houston is Superior to Dallas Day. -OS
November 23, 2025 at 5:29 PM
JFK survived the benzene and petrochemical explosions in Houston but not the people in Dallas. -OS
This weekend we observed our favorite holiday. November 22, which is national Houston is Superior to Dallas Day. -OS
November 23, 2025 at 5:23 PM
This weekend we observed our favorite holiday. November 22, which is national Houston is Superior to Dallas Day. -OS
JFK arrives in Houston from Ellington Airforce Base. Nov 21, 1963. This scene is on old highway 75 (now the Gulf Freeway) near Texas Southern, coming into downtown. Notice the open motorcade. Completely safe for JFK in Houston (unlike Dallas). -OS
November 23, 2025 at 5:22 PM
JFK arrives in Houston from Ellington Airforce Base. Nov 21, 1963. This scene is on old highway 75 (now the Gulf Freeway) near Texas Southern, coming into downtown. Notice the open motorcade. Completely safe for JFK in Houston (unlike Dallas). -OS
Beat you to the punch by one year. -OS
lbjvantagepoint.com/%22the-texas...
lbjvantagepoint.com/%22the-texas...
November 23, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Beat you to the punch by one year. -OS
lbjvantagepoint.com/%22the-texas...
lbjvantagepoint.com/%22the-texas...
No.
Mr. President, did you do any commemorations for 22/11/63, sir?
November 23, 2025 at 8:26 AM
No.
The fact that the major conference Texas schools are now spread across three different conferences and basically don't play each other is so monumentally fucking stupid. -OS
It's such a disaster
November 23, 2025 at 5:48 AM
The fact that the major conference Texas schools are now spread across three different conferences and basically don't play each other is so monumentally fucking stupid. -OS
The renewal of Texas/Aggie is cool. It's nice to have Arkansas on the schedule again. At least Red River still happens during the fair. But the other 6 games on the SEC schedule are a gigantic downgrade from Texas playing Tech/Baylor/Stillwater/K State etc. -OS
It's a fucking embarrassment to be in there
November 23, 2025 at 5:44 AM
The renewal of Texas/Aggie is cool. It's nice to have Arkansas on the schedule again. At least Red River still happens during the fair. But the other 6 games on the SEC schedule are a gigantic downgrade from Texas playing Tech/Baylor/Stillwater/K State etc. -OS
Texas should not be in the SEC simply because their only historical connection to most of the SEC is that UT Law graduate Ramsey Clark likely delivered the court order desgregated [fill in the blank with another SEC school here] -OS
Texas in the SEC would be a lot more tolerable if they went back to a division format and recreated the Big 8/SWC/Big 12 by putting Texas, Aggie, OU, Arkansas, and Mizzou back together in a division. -OS
Mizzou-Oklahoma is a good old Big 8 game. @lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social
November 23, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Texas should not be in the SEC simply because their only historical connection to most of the SEC is that UT Law graduate Ramsey Clark likely delivered the court order desgregated [fill in the blank with another SEC school here] -OS
College football is worse for the wear with the PAC-10 gone and the Big XII reduced to a grab bag of former mid-majors. -OS
November 23, 2025 at 4:36 AM
College football is worse for the wear with the PAC-10 gone and the Big XII reduced to a grab bag of former mid-majors. -OS