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Matt Wagner

@mattwag.bsky.social

380 followers 1.1K following 980 posts

Recovering news addict trying to focus on other things.

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Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · Oct 17

I see a lot of new users are showing up, and I should probably put this out there.

Do you like legendary comic book creator, Matt Wagner?

So do I!

However, I am a secret other Matt Wagner that is not in any way affiliated with him.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 3h

This is my dance about how much transphobes suck.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 11h

I’m having a Sherman type day today

AmeriKraut @inchargeofthegirls.bsky.social · 1d

sherman, for the love of god!

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 14h

Reality TV needs something with some zing!

Reposted by Matt Wagner

LadyBusiness @ladybusiness.bsky.social · 14h

TV show idea: Foxxy. In the near future, MAGA leaders have fled the country to escape justice. To bring them to trial, The Pentagon launches a covert squad of former Miss Universe contestants turned elite mercenaries — led by former black ops veteran, Jerrica Foxxy.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

It is of course the French pronunciation

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

Guy!!

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

Is Buzz only a nickname?

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

Me to my wife:

“Sorry babe, you should have know what you signed up for when you married a party guy like me. Sometimes, I’m gonna do drugs*, even on a weeknight and you’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

*A statin and antacid.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

Aha, but you see, destroying those boats is actually preventing a war!

Nevermind that the threatened war would be started by the same person worthy of getting the Peace Prize.

Peace through strength!

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 1d

He should be used to situations like that. After all, Missouri loves company

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 2d

“The girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa”

Rosie the Riveter, a painting of a woman wearing a denim work coverall, protective goggles on top of her head, and loafers sitting with a rivet gun in her lap and holding a sandwich. She is sitting in front of a waving flag of the United States of America.

Reposted by Matt Wagner

LadyBusiness @ladybusiness.bsky.social · 2d

*Brings cute shoes in your size for 50% off to a knife fight*

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 2d

*Brings menu options that have changed to a knife fight, so listen carefully*

Frenchy's ghost prospecting and leader of ANTIFA @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 2d

*Brings low prices and money back guarantees to a knife fight*

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 2d

*Brings menu options that have changed to a knife fight, so listen carefully*

Frenchy's ghost prospecting and leader of ANTIFA @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 2d

*Brings low prices and money back guarantees to a knife fight*

Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 2d

*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*

Reposted by Matt Wagner

OuterBoroPrincess @outerbororoyal.bsky.social · 2d

“The girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa.”

Mary Magdalene passing out over the risen Jesus

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 2d

I find it interesting that the day the President is saying he has a 57% approval in Rasmussen polling is actually the first time he has had 5 consecutive days of an approval index less than -10.

Rasmussen has never had a 57% approval for him during this administration in their daily tracking.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 3d

I had a roommate who was obsessed then moved to just drinking Kahlúa straight.

Let me tell you, a dorm room cannot handle the smell of someone throwing up straight Kahlúa all night.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 3d

I don’t know why, but the thought of Jennifer Lopez grabbing anything from Dunkin Donuts seems outlandish and alien, and yet surely it has happened.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 3d

I always think, “Look at all these fun little guys I could play, time to make another human!”

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 4d

Well we now know Keith Urban doesn’t have classic French style

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 4d

Excited for a new Supreme Court term!

Although I do find the official theme of this term to be puzzling:

“Checks AND Balances? In this economy?”

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 5d

It’s so annoying having to repeat yourself.

Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 5d

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 6d

My uber is here

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 6d

It’s exhausting filling out the scorecard of every child, but having standards is important.

Plus it will hopefully make some kids think twice about what they choose to wear next year.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 6d

Fight. Fight. Black Maroon and White.

Matt Wagner @mattwag.bsky.social · 6d

Rare sports post from me, but I 100% agree with this. Having the game on in the background has thrown me a couple times tonight.

Jason Voorhees Darr @jasondtx.bsky.social · 6d

If I were coaching Texas A&M right now my half time adjustment would be changing into maroon uniforms so I can stop mixing the teams up.