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milo

milo

@miltfarquhar.bsky.social

760 followers 740 following 5.5K posts

Hot-haired wokester with a pleasing gait. “One of the best kisses I’ve ever had” - anon. He/him. Deal with it, y’fuckin plum.

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milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · Dec 14

This is exactly why sentence structure is important. Because right now, in my mind, Jack Taylor’s goal is overshadowed by his immediate attempted sexual assault of the referee.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 1d

“Gets the club”

Absolute fucking loser talk. The extent of “getting the club” should be “understanding that deep down, all fans want their side to avoid relegation, then win matches, then win trophies.”

It’s nice, as fans, to feel involved - but for most of us, that’s the be all and end all.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Mozzarella you - EH! Why you looka so sad!
Waddaya think you do-ING! With the bloody base!

Pizza Hut is shit. Pizza Hut is bad.
Ahhh shaddapa the place.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

THERE he is!

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Exactly. They talk about the expectation, the intensity of demand - how long had United been waiting before Ferguson delivered, and how long did he get before he actually did? It’s fucking shameless, some of them ex-players need to be telling people to pull their fucking heads in.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

I thought Mbuemo looked like he’d been signed from Milkman’s Select XI when I first saw him. All arse, no action. He’s been good in recent games. You manc twat, obviously.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Much as I’d love to pretend otherwise, feels like it’s only a matter of time before it clicks at United. I’m not surprised to hear some of the old heads on telly saying otherwise, although you’d think some of the united fellas in the media might have cut him more slack. I’m looking at Keane.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

I think we give them a pass on this kind of thing, short term at least - there are probably loads of things where they’re falling short just because “it’s new”. We’ve moved from archaic to state of the art very quickly. You’d just hope they soak all this up and do something about it.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

It’s a bit clammy over there at times.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Haha! No, that was Previous Tenant, I think. Possibly. One of them was surprisingly relaxed about the fact she regularly left the bathroom looking and feeling like the River Styx. I was borderline impressed - she was proper outdoorsy and exercisey and wholesome. We’ve all got us ways, I suppose.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

And I think I’ve made myself quite clear.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Shout to all the uk politicians out there who think saying “let me be quite clear” is a power statement.

That should be your default setting. If I wanted a lack of clarity and a manifesto that only extended to “boats, like” then I’d vote Farage.

Stop saying it. Just be it. That’s my expectation.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

That’s her and yes we did. Unashamedly. We were pathetic, but she was a breath of effortless laissez-faire cool.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah, the one who @junkyardfool.bsky.social described as looking like a 1980s eastern bloc gymnast. She was sound. And too young to be living with old bellends like us, but me and Stabbers spent months trying to impress her with juggling tricks and fire eating chicanery, to no avail.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

to bang on about too often for fear of being an Arse Bore, but - weird constipation? Get it checked. Bit of blood in your pooh? Get it checked. Unusual abdominal aches? Get it checked. Unexpected weight loss? Get it checked. Bowel cancer is very treatable. Don’t ignore it. Would appreciate retweets.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

Got some shit news yesterday. The nice girl me and @stabiloffc.bsky.social lived with in London many moons ago died a couple of years back. Hit me in the gut because she was younger the me, and had the same thing I had. Having lost a good mate already, I’m just going to say once again what I try not

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

It… well, look, it sounds like an excuse. I’m not saying it’s being presented as one - it’s Liverpool, and Liverpool don’t do these things. So you’d hope if they say this stuff, people would think “it’s Liverpool, they don’t try to win via an aggregation of every conceivable tiny margin.”

The tit.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 2d

“Maybe the 74th one is the real one…”

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

“What do you mean, ‘The King is away on business’? Beryl - fuck The Ritz, we’ll have an ice cream when we get back to Texas, which will be not a moment too soon. No, we’re walking to the airport. No. We’re giving them nothing more, the buck-teethed limey A-Holes. Don’t make me shoot you.”

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

Met her when I auditioned for the role of Magneto. I’d boxed the gig off but they were worried that she was getting a bit too attracted to me. She was cheaper and looked boss in blue, so it was a no-brainer. Spoke to her recently and she admitted she’d had a crush and felt bad, but c’est la vie!

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

QUOTE FUCKIN’ POST!

Bertram Wilberforce Wooster @bertwooster.bsky.social · 3d

Mr Baxter's getting upset.

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

Weirdly enough, exactly what I said as I walked into it!

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

“You just go where they post you, mate. Sometimes it’s our place, sometimes it’s Tranmere. I did Aintree once… and The Arena. Yeah, you DO end up at Anfield from time to time, and I usually hate it. But sometimes…”

milo @miltfarquhar.bsky.social · 3d

“… but yeah… yeah, it WAS tough letting go of Juergen. But I think, y’know, … well, we’ve moved on, haven’t we?”