Author | Lightnews

Open Secret Alien

@opensecretalien.bsky.social

460 followers 270 following 7.7K posts

Inhuman observer from another world, but feel free to think I'm crazy. It's wonderful camouflage. Happy to answer questions, but you will probably not like most of the answers.

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · Apr 27

I'm just an antediluvian alien observer asking the local primates not to wipe themselves out while I'm still here.

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 1h

Here's hoping they weren't trained to check their corners.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 2h

Part of me wants to ask how it tasted; but the larger part hopes that nobody knows.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 3h

I'm just in it for the recipes. If there's mayhem, even better.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 3h

(unpublished works)

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 4h

It has become clear to me that I am not living an interesting enough life.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 4h

I'm sure that with just a little bit of self-delusion, she'll be right back on the train in no time. No, not that train. Not yet, anyway.

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 4h

bugs bunny is standing in the desert with a cactus in the background and says `` what a maroon '' .

ALT: bugs bunny is standing in the desert with a cactus in the background and says `` what a maroon '' .

media.tenor.com

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 6h

And if any drunks gets handsy, 50,000 volts straight to the nutsack.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 6h

You know, sooner or later the public is going to discover the names of the pilots who are following illegal orders and committing murders and I just hope that they never have a good night's sleep for the rest of their lives; given how uncomfortable the beds are in prison.

Reposted by Open Secret Alien

Batman or halo @milesklee.bsky.social · 6h

it's a pornography store. i was buying pornography

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 6h

He's overdue to switch parties. It's not as if he has a chance of making it through a Democratic primary.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 6h

Who was the groveler? I want to make sure his wretched ass isn't in my media diet (but probably not if he still works at the Caucasian Bullshitting Syndicate)

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 7h

Hello, this is the first time I've ever bookmarked a skeet on purpose.

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Reposted by Open Secret Alien

grimm ☀️ @mugrimm.bsky.social · 7h

Stop what you're doing and watch this little guy lol

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 7h

And if she didn't know what she was doing, that would be worse.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 8h

The administration doesn't give a hot salted fuck about the law, so why are you twisting yourselves into knots about how violating the Constitution can sometimes be legal, actually? This isn't a rhetorical question.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 9h

Because he's still escaped justice.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 10h

Seems relevant
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news...

BBC NEWS | UK | More 'sex tourists' face UK law

news.bbc.co.uk

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Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 10h

So, nothing is all that was possible?

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 10h

I wouldn't blame you, but we'd all miss you.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 10h

Yeah, and fuck those nagging ass women, too. Always bitching about equal treatment when we have bigger problems. Get your shit together, get back in the kitchen and let the men save American democracy. (Do you see how fucking ridiculous it sounds when it's your rights being thrown under the bus?)

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 11h

Like they won't figure it out when their SNAP cards stop getting reloaded, when their grocery stores can't afford to restock, or when the million and one downstream effects of poor folks going without hits the wider economy. It's bad enough that they lie constantly; but their lies are so CHILDISH.

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 12h

Sure would have been nice if there had been some journalists in the room to call bullshit.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 12h

Kristi Noem: "No American citizens have been arrested or detained. We focus on those who are here illegally. And anything you would hear or report that would be different than that is simply not true and false reporting."

Open Secret Alien @opensecretalien.bsky.social · 16h

My babies had a haircut!

A black and white supermutt with a trimmed beard.

A blonde husky mix with a speckled nose.

Reposted by Open Secret Alien

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 21h

JD Vance claims that diversity weakens unions, as people end up distrusting each other and not organizing.

Let me tell you two menswear stories related to this claim. 🧵

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