Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 21h

“Trump Lies About Portland” would be a much snappier (and accurate) headline, APNews!

apnews.com/article/fact...

Screenshot showing a quiet city street. Headline reads "FACT FOCUS: Trump paints a grim portrait of Portland. The story on the ground is much less extreme" in italic words poster added "(in other words Trump is lying.)"

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 1d

Just got an offer for the Nuremberg Comedy Fest! It’s the same week as Pyongyang but I might be able to make it work🤞🤞🤞

Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 2d

They just called out the national guard to capture Woody Guthrie’s guitar

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 2d

The girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa

FDR & Eleanor Roosevelt in the back seat of a convertible, FDR raises his hat in his right hand, both smile at the camera

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 3d

I propose using AI to blockchain B2B synergy, it’ll be a game changing disruptor of the paradigm!

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 3d

My favorite is Gravity’s Rainbow, but it’s dense and took me some effort to get through. Also dug Vineland, Bleeding Edge, and Mason & Dixon, though that last one is tough cuz it’s written in an 18th Century stylized prose (once I got into the rhythm of it it went faster)

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 3d

Bad idea: now he’ll never be released!

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 3d

“I won’t answer your question, senator, but if you’ll allow me to read from my Burn Book…”

Pam bondi in a pinstripe jacket, hand under her chin, looking like she’s giving notes on her new coat made from dalmatians

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 4d

Finally wrote some goofy lyrics to an instrumental piece I did years ago. Enjoy the French Bossa grooviness, with backing vocal help from @tammyfayenyc.bsky.social !! 🎶🎸🪇

robprocks.bandcamp.com/track/pestic...

Pesticida (Ciné Version), by Rob Paravonian

track by Rob Paravonian

robprocks.bandcamp.com

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 5d

There’s a song about them!

youtu.be/B5hFQbygLfc?...

Contrarian—Lyrics Video

YouTube video by RobPRocks

youtu.be

Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 6d

We’re gonna send the TX Natl Guard to IL during hurricane season, so if there’s a hurricane TX we’ll just send the FL Nat’l guard. If a hurricane hits FL we’ll send NC Nat’l guard to FL. But if NC gets hit… Look, the important thing is we’re owning the libs!

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 8d

Watched “Better Man” tonight, loved it, and now I want them to go back and remake other musician biopics with chimpanzees as the stars, in this order:

•Walk the Line—way better!
•A Complete Unknown—amazing!
•La Vie En Rose—Magnifique!
•Coal Miner’s Daughter—this one might fail but it’d be epic

movie poster for the movie Better Man, a mock up of a Rolling Stone Cover showing the head of a chimpanzee wearing sunglasses, tuxedo coat, and bow tie, roses in front of him covering the lower third and the title "Better Man" and credits

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 10d

It’s political theater from people who suck at theater. Project 2025 should’ve recruited more BFAs! 🙃

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 10d

4.) will the fest lanyard/credentials have a tracking/listening device?
5.) will there be outdoor shows?
5a.) will there be medics for people who pass out from heat during the outdoor shows?
6.) As a non-citizen will my passport be confiscated as leverage to keep working?
7.) green room snax?

Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 10d

Riyadh Comedy Festival FAQ:

1.) Is there a “New Faces” show?
2.) will there be industry?
2a.) which industry?
3.) will they be handing out development deals like the 90s Aspen/Montreal Fests?
3a.) can I pitch my sitcom abt my wife secretly trying to learn to drive?

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 11d

Pete Hegseth to the Generals: “do you guys even lift?”

SecDef Whisky Pete Hegseth on stage clenching his fists in front of an American flag

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 11d

“It’s the end of the quarter, you have to pay rent tomorrow, the gubment is shutting down and you’re about to lose healthcare, so please give me $20 so I can I can meet an arbitrary funding deadline to run in an election a year from now!” 🙄

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 11d

We’re always complaining about slippery slopes but I want to shout out those unheralded slopes that have excellent traction: thank you!

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 11d

If drumpf cuts off federal funds to NYC can NYC residents and businesses stop paying federal taxes? Asking for about 8 million friends

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 12d

I’m really glad ABC settled the Kimmel suspension… mostly because they’re broadcasting the cubs’ wildcard series over the air and now I don’t need a live tv acct 🙌

Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 13d

I listened to the stupid theme song, now I gotta watch a lame mini-doc about a trade?! There sure isn’t much football on football broadcasts

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 16d

New World Order? That’s so early-90s! I’m gonna listen to some Screaming Trees and watch Singles!

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 17d

Genius Businessman Musk saved us so much money! Billionaires are so smrt!

(The people they're trying to hire back got 7 months of paid leave in the meantime 🤦‍♂️)

apnews.com/live/donald-...

screenshot of text reading "Ultimately, the outcome was the agency was left broken and understaffed," said Chad Becker, a former GSA real estate official. "They didn't have the people they needed to carry out basic functions."

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 18d

Oh! He was one of those guys you saw in the 80s in Times Square saying they were the lost 12th tribe! I remember them!

Lux "Nightmare" Alptraum @luxalptraum.com · 18d

You guys do yourself a favor and look at what Eric Adams wore to Rosh Hashanah services at the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation

Eric Adams surrounded by members of the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation. He is wearing a blue velvet jacket that is embroidered with gold Magen David’s and other Jewish seeming patterns, including multiple menorahs. Everyone else is just in button down shirts or normal suits. He is not blending in.

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Rob Paravonian @robprocks.com · 18d

Man, I feel sorry for the old folks who get raptured with bad hips looking at all the other souls in their perfect angel bodies thinking “I shoulda died before the rapture!”