Rob Paravonian
@robprocks.com
musician, comedian, utility outfielder
Pinned
Rob Paravonian
@robprocks.com
· Sep 18
Castigat ridendo mores
Da Bears… had a hell of a season and were fun as hell to watch. Good job gents! #goodbetterbest #beardown
January 19, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Da Bears… had a hell of a season and were fun as hell to watch. Good job gents! #goodbetterbest #beardown
If it's safer to have the big padded helmet over the football helmet, why not be even safer and add another padded helmet on top of the 1st padded helmet?
Make all the players look like Thanksgiving Day parade balloons!
Make all the players look like Thanksgiving Day parade balloons!
January 18, 2026 at 10:22 PM
If it's safer to have the big padded helmet over the football helmet, why not be even safer and add another padded helmet on top of the 1st padded helmet?
Make all the players look like Thanksgiving Day parade balloons!
Make all the players look like Thanksgiving Day parade balloons!
A few more awards and Drumpf will be the most decorated politician since George Santos!
January 18, 2026 at 6:36 PM
A few more awards and Drumpf will be the most decorated politician since George Santos!
Why have doctors when you can just Ask Jeeves? Why go to a surgeon when a guy in Bay Ridge will cut you up for free? Trust the marketplace!
Makary: "Why are medications prescription only? If you think about it, if a medication is safe, doesn't require laboratory test monitoring & can't be used in some nefarious way, why do we require a prescription? Most of the world does not do that. There's something magical about price transparency."
January 18, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Why have doctors when you can just Ask Jeeves? Why go to a surgeon when a guy in Bay Ridge will cut you up for free? Trust the marketplace!
What. A. Twat.
Bessent on Greenland: "Peace through strength. Make it part of the US and there will not be a conflict because the US right now, we're the hottest country in the world, we're the strongest country in the world. Europeans project weakness. The US projects strength."
January 18, 2026 at 2:39 PM
What. A. Twat.
stupid Fitbit app will nag you about low cardio days no matter what’s going on in your life. It needs a “f*** you I’m recovering from surgery” button
January 18, 2026 at 4:09 AM
stupid Fitbit app will nag you about low cardio days no matter what’s going on in your life. It needs a “f*** you I’m recovering from surgery” button
Fun comic novel set in 1947 San Francisco, excellent escape from doom scrolling and all: Noir by Christopher Moore. Cool cover too on this first edition :-) #booksky
January 17, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Fun comic novel set in 1947 San Francisco, excellent escape from doom scrolling and all: Noir by Christopher Moore. Cool cover too on this first edition :-) #booksky
🧊 will need to be abolished for no other reason than the fact that they’ll totally go rogue under a D administration. Can you honestly see these x-J6ers taking orders from Secretary Beto or whoever?
January 16, 2026 at 12:41 AM
🧊 will need to be abolished for no other reason than the fact that they’ll totally go rogue under a D administration. Can you honestly see these x-J6ers taking orders from Secretary Beto or whoever?
There are definitely professional agitators in Minneapolis and they're all funded by 🧊
January 15, 2026 at 4:19 PM
There are definitely professional agitators in Minneapolis and they're all funded by 🧊
The stoopitest cover from last night’s “Command Performance” Cover Tuesday 😜🤦♂️🎺
www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh6pYMQ9/
www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh6pYMQ9/
House of Pain’s Jump Around (with some Kris Kross Jump) decimated in acoustic cover 😜 when I say I do ”stoopit covers” I mean stoopit! #covertuesday
TikTok video by Rob P.
www.tiktok.com
January 14, 2026 at 8:18 PM
The stoopitest cover from last night’s “Command Performance” Cover Tuesday 😜🤦♂️🎺
www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh6pYMQ9/
www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh6pYMQ9/
It was a fun Cover Tuesday last night, busted out 15 command songs and nice convos on the chat! Archive will be up for a week at Twitch.com/RobPRocks 🤘🎤🎸
January 14, 2026 at 4:51 PM
It was a fun Cover Tuesday last night, busted out 15 command songs and nice convos on the chat! Archive will be up for a week at Twitch.com/RobPRocks 🤘🎤🎸
Cover Tuesday starts in just over 30 minutes! Get your stoopit covers at Twitch.com/RobPRocks 🤘🎤🎸🤣🤓
January 14, 2026 at 12:41 AM
Cover Tuesday starts in just over 30 minutes! Get your stoopit covers at Twitch.com/RobPRocks 🤘🎤🎸🤣🤓
If that 🧊 agent was really in mortal danger from a car going 2mph than people who work at car washes would have the highest mortality rate of any job in the country
January 14, 2026 at 12:19 AM
If that 🧊 agent was really in mortal danger from a car going 2mph than people who work at car washes would have the highest mortality rate of any job in the country
I was worried tonight’s Cover Tuesday theme was too weird: song titles that are commands, (imperative tone), but I got more request/suggestions than ever! Viva Musical Grammar Nerds and Grammatical Music Nerds!
Show tonight (Tues. Jan 13) 8:15 NYC time
www.twitch.tv/robprocks
Show tonight (Tues. Jan 13) 8:15 NYC time
www.twitch.tv/robprocks
Twitch
Twitch is the world
www.twitch.tv
January 13, 2026 at 6:35 PM
I was worried tonight’s Cover Tuesday theme was too weird: song titles that are commands, (imperative tone), but I got more request/suggestions than ever! Viva Musical Grammar Nerds and Grammatical Music Nerds!
Show tonight (Tues. Jan 13) 8:15 NYC time
www.twitch.tv/robprocks
Show tonight (Tues. Jan 13) 8:15 NYC time
www.twitch.tv/robprocks
“Stupid Covers for a Stupid World” was the line I came up with for Cover Tuesday back during the pando. It’s still true, so take a break from the suck tmrw night (Tues. Jan 13) at 8:15 NYC time for some fun covers of songs whose title contain a command, like “Don’t…” “Gimme…” etc
twitch.tv/RobPRocks
twitch.tv/RobPRocks
January 12, 2026 at 7:08 PM
“Stupid Covers for a Stupid World” was the line I came up with for Cover Tuesday back during the pando. It’s still true, so take a break from the suck tmrw night (Tues. Jan 13) at 8:15 NYC time for some fun covers of songs whose title contain a command, like “Don’t…” “Gimme…” etc
twitch.tv/RobPRocks
twitch.tv/RobPRocks
My heart hasn’t started back up yet 🐻 #goodbetterbest
a man in a chicago bears jacket is throwing a baseball .
ALT: a man in a chicago bears jacket is throwing a baseball .
media.tenor.com
January 11, 2026 at 4:54 AM
My heart hasn’t started back up yet 🐻 #goodbetterbest
Saw a subway ad that tried to claim northwest Florida was a hot new NYC neighborhood called “NoFlo.” I call BulShi
January 6, 2026 at 10:35 PM
Saw a subway ad that tried to claim northwest Florida was a hot new NYC neighborhood called “NoFlo.” I call BulShi
Wanna read my latest newsletter? You can! (And you can sign up to get them yourself! I only send about oncee a month, I won’t clog your inbox, I swear!)
eepurl.com/jwlbdQ
eepurl.com/jwlbdQ
20 Years of YouTube!(?) & next Cover Tuesday!
eepurl.com
January 6, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Wanna read my latest newsletter? You can! (And you can sign up to get them yourself! I only send about oncee a month, I won’t clog your inbox, I swear!)
eepurl.com/jwlbdQ
eepurl.com/jwlbdQ
I’m running for the governor of Minnesota on the platform of changing its name to “Maxisota!”
January 6, 2026 at 2:37 AM
I’m running for the governor of Minnesota on the platform of changing its name to “Maxisota!”
Tonite! 10pm Eastern/9 Central/7 Pacific (do the math Mountain time!) the virtual comedy show! Gonna dust off a couple’s haven’t done in a while :-)
virtualcomedyshow.com
virtualcomedyshow.com
BRAD TASSELL & STEVE GOODIE Present
The original and best quality on the web!
(We now have a waiting room)
virtualcomedyshow.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Tonite! 10pm Eastern/9 Central/7 Pacific (do the math Mountain time!) the virtual comedy show! Gonna dust off a couple’s haven’t done in a while :-)
virtualcomedyshow.com
virtualcomedyshow.com
I “assure you” “probably” 🤦♂️
Marco Rubio: "It had to be done. And it's been done. And I assure you the people left behind in Venezuela now that are in charge of the police and everything else, I assure you they are gonna probably be a lot more compliant than Maduro was as a result of this."
January 4, 2026 at 4:01 PM
I “assure you” “probably” 🤦♂️
Look, if Maduro doesn’t go on trial and get convicted how is Drumpf gonna pardon him?
January 3, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Look, if Maduro doesn’t go on trial and get convicted how is Drumpf gonna pardon him?
Not sure how this got in my feed but yes I read all the replies to see if anyone suggested that “piss-poor” requires a hyphen what’swrongwithme
I sure hope the IIHF is taking note of the piss poor attendance at the World JR hockey tournament this year and for other major sport federations to avoid hosting events in the USA.
December 31, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Not sure how this got in my feed but yes I read all the replies to see if anyone suggested that “piss-poor” requires a hyphen what’swrongwithme
Thanks, “the #1 Movie When You Were 10” meme, I just wasted an hour trying to figure out if it was the #1 movie the year you turned 10, the week you turned 10, or the movie that grossed the most between your 10th and 11th b-days, because PRECISION MATTERS!!
December 31, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Thanks, “the #1 Movie When You Were 10” meme, I just wasted an hour trying to figure out if it was the #1 movie the year you turned 10, the week you turned 10, or the movie that grossed the most between your 10th and 11th b-days, because PRECISION MATTERS!!
My 2025 Anti-Corporate Wrapped (5 true, 1 lie):
•quit Amazon Prime
•canceled Hulu
•quit my monopolistic ISP
•continued to not subscribe to Spotify, Netflix, WaPo
•started supporting @propublica.org @hellgatenyc.com
•resigned as Tesla’s Cybertruck social media lead
•quit Amazon Prime
•canceled Hulu
•quit my monopolistic ISP
•continued to not subscribe to Spotify, Netflix, WaPo
•started supporting @propublica.org @hellgatenyc.com
•resigned as Tesla’s Cybertruck social media lead
December 30, 2025 at 5:53 PM
My 2025 Anti-Corporate Wrapped (5 true, 1 lie):
•quit Amazon Prime
•canceled Hulu
•quit my monopolistic ISP
•continued to not subscribe to Spotify, Netflix, WaPo
•started supporting @propublica.org @hellgatenyc.com
•resigned as Tesla’s Cybertruck social media lead
•quit Amazon Prime
•canceled Hulu
•quit my monopolistic ISP
•continued to not subscribe to Spotify, Netflix, WaPo
•started supporting @propublica.org @hellgatenyc.com
•resigned as Tesla’s Cybertruck social media lead