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Paul Blart

@swagmastarpaul.bsky.social

3.1K followers 130 following 260 posts

Meow. https://linktr.ee/Paulblart

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Nov 15

Yeah I know HTML- how to meet ladies

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 6h

Your order has arrived and it is pissed

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Reposted by Paul Blart

poorly drawn cats @poorlycatdraw.bsky.social · 4d

trick or treat?

vampurr’s waiting at your door (but not for long!)

this is a limited edition plushie, get yours now at: www.makeship.com/products/vam...

a gray cat plushie dressed as a vampire, with a tiny red and black cape and small fangs. vampurr is sitting on a smoky surface with a little white ghost shaped bucket beside it, against a dark background

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 4d

It’s a very freaky ass white boy Wednesday indeed as my communications with Oven Paul have strengthened and I’ve learned about the portal underneath the oven. He says it’s a void where toys enter only to never return. The whirlpool nation is truly sinister for this.

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Reposted by Paul Blart

Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 7d

Cat cart !! Cart with da cat in it !!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 7d

Cat cart !! Cart with da cat in it !!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 9d

His little body just couldn’t handle the love you and me and everyone else had for him is all, now he can hold a rainbow full of love

Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 9d

The blue is a good choice bestie, thanks so much!

Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 17d

Nothing to see here

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 20d

No keep the tv on I’m paying attention

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 24d

Freaky ass oven white boy wednesday !!!!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 29d

Yeah I’m pretty ripped

Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 29d

While the leader of the whirlpool nation is no doubt having a leisurely Saturday, I am here still trying my rescue efforts to free Oven Paul. As you can hear the barrier into the oven dimension is squeaky like an NBA court and I think this is a good sign of weakened defenses.

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · 29d

HAHHAA look at these guys they have no clue about anything

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Sep 12

You have beautiful skin how much do you think it’s worth

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Sep 9

A guy !!!!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Sep 6

Oven Paul stickers are in !!!!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 30

Yeah handsome and cool runs in the family

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Reposted by Paul Blart

Dial M for Marfurder @mostlymartha.bsky.social · Aug 27

"Had it not been for the laws of this land I would have stabbed you with a rusty fork" is the perfect tee for the zeitgeist.

Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 27

Oven Paul stickers as well as new shirts to show off your Blart swag!

Shirts go up to 5XL and are made to order. International shipping available. Grab it while you can!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 27

Oven Paul stickers as well as new shirts to show off your Blart swag!

Shirts go up to 5XL and are made to order. International shipping available. Grab it while you can!

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 27

It’s Freaky Ass White Boy Wednesday!!! Me and Oven Paul have cooked up some new merch for all our besties! Proceeds will fund spaceship creation to free Oven Paul from the Whirlpool dimension

blackspurgoods.com

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 25

It’s an incredible likeness

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 25

Oven Paul merch drops Wednesday besties

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 21

I holdy your moms hand

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Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul.bsky.social · Aug 20

Freaky ass white boy Wednesday; nap edition

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Reposted by Paul Blart

Caroleeena @caroleeena.bsky.social · Aug 15

"Il Gatto Infuriato” (The Enraged Cat) by Walter Molino, 1967

Walter Molino was an Italian pulp fiction artist known for his vivid depictions of disasters, accidents, and violence, often focusing on life-and-death situations.

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