Author | Lightnews

Royston

@voodooroy.bsky.social

220 followers 170 following 3.6K posts

It’s not where you’re from; it’s not where you’ve been; it’s not what you’ve seen *it’s where you’re between.* ⚒️People’s Republic of Essex ⚒️

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 2h

It sort of depends on if they are paying by the word.

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 2h

(The blackboard is turned around. A horrifically misspelled name with a kiss/heart is revealed.)

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 2h

“I love the bones of yer, and J really hope I’m wrong”

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 2h

I think we need to know what the E is for.

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 4h

Frankenquote

Reposted by Royston

Ann @annfrancis.bsky.social · 16h

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 4h

Dudes who do impressions of caricatures and think they’ve stumbled onto something: they’re always going to be there aren’t they?

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 5h

I think the latter.
Definitely an area where talent came to announce itself though:
Cartoons in one of the 80s West Ham fanzines were by Phil Jupitus.

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 5h

Anyone’s hair can be evocative of splattered pie filling. But it depends on the pie.
And the filling.

Reposted by Royston

Dr Seán DOOLAN 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇮🇪 @sdinpraxis.bsky.social · 2d

I know this! 🙋🏼‍♂️

The party that's a private firm and that does performatively bad screening of candidates and execution of governance?

David Osland @davidosland.bsky.social · 2d

What kind of political party regards leaking Zoom footage as a worse offence than taking bribes from Russia?

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Reposted by Royston

Dr Seán DOOLAN 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🇮🇪 @sdinpraxis.bsky.social · 2d

More on the private party of good governance.

A Reform council candidate tied with the Greens, lost an electoral toss-up, petitioned the High Court, lost again and incurred a £19k legal bill, and now wants to appeal yet again - this time to the ECHR, that bogeyman of the right 😆

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 6h

ECHR is the punchline 👏

Reposted by Royston

Dave Jorgenson @davejorgenson.bsky.social · 16h

Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 15h

“They use scripts now?”
“They use scripts now!”

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 15h

No one surveyed had a teenager in the house.

a green and white penguin is standing in front of a brick wall with abster written on the bottom

ALT: a green and white penguin is standing in front of a brick wall with abster written on the bottom

media.tenor.com

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 19h

I have the City level (1) down to 2:50 and one death.

I’ve been warned I’m likely to hit a wall when my fubar-ed colour vision will impair
me. But doing OK at the moment, and I’m on the level that is supposed to kick in.

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 21h

Fantastic series. Even now.

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

“Moe’s Tavern memes, Sir: fousands of ‘em.”

The Guardian @theguardian.com · 1d

Man sent to France under ‘one in, one out’ scheme returns to UK on small boat

Exclusive: Asylum seeker says he made second crossing because he did not feel safe in France A man sent back to France under the “one in, one out” scheme has returned to the UK on a small boat, the Guardian has learned. The man, who wants to claim asylum in the UK, and has spoken to the Guardian since coming back, is being held in a UK immigration detention centre and claims to be a victim of modern slavery at the hands of smugglers in northern France. Continue reading...

www.theguardian.com

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

Weeeeeeeeee!

a blue sky is behind a gray pipe

ALT: a blue sky is behind a gray pipe

media.tenor.com

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

spotify.link/aK1zWspMFXb

Time Becomes

spotify.link

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

Unless, of course, their current genius idea is now to co opt the Tory standpoint and they are going into battle as the unconvincing xenophobia option.
FML.

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

“Worf! What’s all this about Klingons having two nobs?”
“There is the theory of the morepenis where mine becomes a fork.”

(One for the Orbital fans)

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

1. Excelsior!
2. Was a reason ever given for Pie Face ceasing to be a skinhead? Is this the Earth 2 Pie Face? Or is it a generational thing like Dennis’s dad being old Dennis?

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Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

👨🏻‍🍳👌🏻

Royston @voodooroy.bsky.social · 1d

But imagine his mother’s pride.