Author | Lightnews

World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 4h

I tried the antihistamine thing last time, but no luck 😢

Got one of those immune systems that's gonna do what it wants and doesn't want my input.

World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 4h

This.

My last dtp put me in bed for a week. Every covid shot has knocked me down for 2-3 days. STILL BETTER THAN TETANUS, OR COVID, OR ACCIDENTALLY KILLING A BABY. I do have to plan ahead and get them when I can schedule around it, but that's a smallish price.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 11h

"They" said putting together a toilet while using it wasn't possible.

They were right.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 11h

And yet I have to get an automated reminder to update it every 75 minutes so no one can hack my lightbulbs

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 14h

that other baby brought ANOTHER PACIFIER TO THE FUNERAL

THE SCANDAL

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 15h

pretty strongly suspect that if there were a trend of 1000 people suddenly appearing in the middle of a town and immediately assaulting everything that moves, it would have made the news at least once or twice

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 15h

shoot... forgot about that part.
stupid john making everything all connected and whatnot.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 15h

.... we thought it would be less work until its battery died and grandma tripped over it when it suddenly collapsed in the hall and long story short now grandma has an artificial hip and needs a ride to physical therapy 3 times a week ...?

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 15h

looks nervously at my German inheritance of constantly wearing glasses and transparent paleness and depression (and fondness for trees but that one might be Tolkien's fault) 😬

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 15h

Did it work? Is admin more responsive if you invoke blessings of the gods upon them?

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 22h

People absolutely reassign their tipping based on weather & 100 other uncontrollable factors. On vacation, you tip. But hunkered & scared in a hallway with no power is "not vacation", so vacation-style tipping not required. (And aren't employees lucky to get to shelter in such a nice hotel anyway?🙄)

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 1d

genuinely concerned that the author of that snippet may never have met an actual human with political beliefs to the left of Himmler

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 1d

You are correct
But also ... I've seen the aesthetic of that bathroom in exactly ONE middle-American bathroom, ever.
Even in their weird obsession with luring the "salt of the earth" conservatives of the middle class, they're still getting it wrong.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

I don't know who empowered them to assign homework, but we must find that person and end the reign of terror

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

There are zero people on the street, platform, or train WHAT ARE THE POLICE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU FROM

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Reposted by World Ahead

Free DC @freedcproject.bsky.social · 2d

Last night, the National Guard chased children who were out enjoying Halloween in Navy Yard.

There is no valid reason for armed soldiers to terrorize children like this. End Trump’s occupation of DC. National Guard out NOW.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

Maybe we should have kept the analogies section from the antique SAT.

AI Essay : Human-written essay :: Plagiarism : ___________

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

Conservatives need to update their messaging. No, you probably won't get mugged. But there's a higher-than-you'd-think chance of having to commute next to an ostrich.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

Evolution does strange things in restricted island environments.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

(If they do not part, an ever-so-gentle bonking with the staff often persuades them to step aside.)

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 2d

Our thoughts go with you on this quest. May the throngs part before you like the sea before Moses' staff as you seek sustenance.

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 3d

I don't touch my own actual husband like that, in public

World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 3d

What'd they do to the sink to make it activate its camouflage reflex

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World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 3d

Science can say whatever it wants, but we're going to get 5 visitors all night and then I'm going to have to eat the leftovers, so I'm buying what *I* like

World Ahead @worldahead.bsky.social · 3d

He's an Empire officer from Star Wars (and she's cold 😅)

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