Ann Arbor Pitchbot
@a2pitchbot.bsky.social
Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches to pitchbot AT theinternetemail DOT com. they/them
Mayor Taylor has announced that he's running for reelection. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Mayor Taylor has announced that he's running for reelection. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
Not enough room on your table for all those delicious thanksgiving sides? Maybe some of them should move to Ypsilanti. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Not enough room on your table for all those delicious thanksgiving sides? Maybe some of them should move to Ypsilanti. #a2council
Need inspiration for your Thanksgiving dessert? This vanilla sheet cake from Costco, this ice cream cake from Baskin, or this German Chocolate blizzard from DQ will make you think you're a well-known local chef who has logged onto Nextdoor to ask where he can get a tres leches cake. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Need inspiration for your Thanksgiving dessert? This vanilla sheet cake from Costco, this ice cream cake from Baskin, or this German Chocolate blizzard from DQ will make you think you're a well-known local chef who has logged onto Nextdoor to ask where he can get a tres leches cake. #a2council
This Thanksgiving we remember what we're truly thankful for—successfully preventing somebody from building a duplex in my neighborhood. #a2council
November 27, 2025 at 8:01 PM
This Thanksgiving we remember what we're truly thankful for—successfully preventing somebody from building a duplex in my neighborhood. #a2council
Opinion | I’m the sole proprietor of Ann Arbor’s third most popular political conspiracy blog. Whether Arbor South passes or fails tonight, it’s clear that the fix was in. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
November 17, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Opinion | I’m the sole proprietor of Ann Arbor’s third most popular political conspiracy blog. Whether Arbor South passes or fails tonight, it’s clear that the fix was in. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
Opinion | The majestic Edmund Fitzgerald disappeared beneath the waves 50 years ago, never to be seen again. Two years ago, the majestic Elbel Field was plowed over to build a dorm. Was this our Edmund Fitzgerald? #a2council
by James Q Porkchop
by James Q Porkchop
November 10, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Opinion | The majestic Edmund Fitzgerald disappeared beneath the waves 50 years ago, never to be seen again. Two years ago, the majestic Elbel Field was plowed over to build a dorm. Was this our Edmund Fitzgerald? #a2council
by James Q Porkchop
by James Q Porkchop
Donald Trump’s immigration policy has heartlessly closed the doors of American opportunity to millions. But if Mayor Taylor lets someone build a triplex near my $1.2M LoBuPa house, I’ll have no choice but to vote for Donald Trump for a fourth time. #a2council
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Donald Trump’s immigration policy has heartlessly closed the doors of American opportunity to millions. But if Mayor Taylor lets someone build a triplex near my $1.2M LoBuPa house, I’ll have no choice but to vote for Donald Trump for a fourth time. #a2council
My 19-year-old was reading #a2council when she turned to me gravely and asked "mom, why did Kathy Griswold shit her pants?" And when I told her "because her taxes went up $100 to pay for public schools," she started crying.
just read this to my 19yo and I think she was reaching for "cutting off your nose to spite your face" but she said "shitting in your pants to make the neighbor smell it" which...is accurate?
November 8, 2025 at 9:26 PM
My 19-year-old was reading #a2council when she turned to me gravely and asked "mom, why did Kathy Griswold shit her pants?" And when I told her "because her taxes went up $100 to pay for public schools," she started crying.
Spending thousands of dollars, which I don’t have, to fight tax increases that cost hundreds of dollars, which I also don’t have, is important to prevent shitlibs like Chris Taylor from making local government more effective, which I do not support. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
November 7, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Spending thousands of dollars, which I don’t have, to fight tax increases that cost hundreds of dollars, which I also don’t have, is important to prevent shitlibs like Chris Taylor from making local government more effective, which I do not support. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
Kathy Griswold to join the Weiser Center for Eroding Democracies #a2council
November 5, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Kathy Griswold to join the Weiser Center for Eroding Democracies #a2council
I’m a lifelong democrat. But if anyone tries to raise my taxes to pay for schools, libraries, or sidewalks, I will be forced to campaign with Republicans for the fifth consecutive election cycle. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
November 4, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I’m a lifelong democrat. But if anyone tries to raise my taxes to pay for schools, libraries, or sidewalks, I will be forced to campaign with Republicans for the fifth consecutive election cycle. #a2council
by Kathy Griswold
by Kathy Griswold
My five year old was paging through the Observer when he asked me gravely, “daddy, what does ‘from the windows, to the walls’ mean?” When I told him, “till all skeet-skeet, motherfucker!,” he started crying. #a2council
November 4, 2025 at 12:12 AM
My five year old was paging through the Observer when he asked me gravely, “daddy, what does ‘from the windows, to the walls’ mean?” When I told him, “till all skeet-skeet, motherfucker!,” he started crying. #a2council
BREAKING | Mayor Taylor seen preparing to distribute candy in order to corruptly influence future voters. #a2council
October 31, 2025 at 7:55 PM
BREAKING | Mayor Taylor seen preparing to distribute candy in order to corruptly influence future voters. #a2council
Impossible! Ann Arbor is a special place. No lessons from other cities apply here. We have to invent everything from scratch with a process that takes a minimum of 20 years and involves at least a dozen postcards sent registered mail to each homeowner (but no renters, please) #a2council
Similar stuff happening in Cambridge 🙄
October 31, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Impossible! Ann Arbor is a special place. No lessons from other cities apply here. We have to invent everything from scratch with a process that takes a minimum of 20 years and involves at least a dozen postcards sent registered mail to each homeowner (but no renters, please) #a2council
I'm an 80-year-old lifelong Democrat and Ann Arbor resident. But if the new comp plan allows someone to construct a duplex in my neighborhood in 2045, my ghost will be forced haunt both units after voting for Donald Trump for the seventh time. #a2council
October 31, 2025 at 6:13 PM
I'm an 80-year-old lifelong Democrat and Ann Arbor resident. But if the new comp plan allows someone to construct a duplex in my neighborhood in 2045, my ghost will be forced haunt both units after voting for Donald Trump for the seventh time. #a2council
Opinion | Morgan Wallen said all of the phonetic sounds of a notorious racial slur, without euphemism. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
October 31, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Opinion | Morgan Wallen said all of the phonetic sounds of a notorious racial slur, without euphemism. #a2council
by Elizabeth Nelson
by Elizabeth Nelson
"They began with Domino's, then NYPD, and now they're bringing in Jet's! It's clear they are slowly increasing the density of the pizza served in an attempt at subliminal messaging," complained local horizontal gated community enthusiast Geoff Crabpot. "What's next, Anthony's?" he added. #a2council
October 29, 2025 at 1:56 PM
"They began with Domino's, then NYPD, and now they're bringing in Jet's! It's clear they are slowly increasing the density of the pizza served in an attempt at subliminal messaging," complained local horizontal gated community enthusiast Geoff Crabpot. "What's next, Anthony's?" he added. #a2council
BREAKING | Photographic evidence reveals how Neighbors for More Neighbors A2 corruptly influenced Democratic officials to embrace pro-housing reforms. #a2council
October 28, 2025 at 9:28 PM
BREAKING | Photographic evidence reveals how Neighbors for More Neighbors A2 corruptly influenced Democratic officials to embrace pro-housing reforms. #a2council
I was going to pause the plan. But then people brought Domino’s Pizza to an #a2council meeting.
October 27, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I was going to pause the plan. But then people brought Domino’s Pizza to an #a2council meeting.
Opinion | I’m outraged that someone added fake names to our NIMBY petition. Seymour Butts, Ann Arbaugh, and Harry P Ness have been scrubbed from the list, and shame on the person who added these obviously fake names to our very serious petition. #a2council
by Don Balfrey, Dean of Disinformation
by Don Balfrey, Dean of Disinformation
October 21, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Opinion | I’m outraged that someone added fake names to our NIMBY petition. Seymour Butts, Ann Arbaugh, and Harry P Ness have been scrubbed from the list, and shame on the person who added these obviously fake names to our very serious petition. #a2council
by Don Balfrey, Dean of Disinformation
by Don Balfrey, Dean of Disinformation
"pause the plan! pause the plan!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob. #a2council
October 20, 2025 at 11:05 PM
"pause the plan! pause the plan!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob. #a2council
Is Ann Arbor’s housing market actually ok? To find out, I interviewed a real estate agent who is on the Pause The Plan steering committee and who publicly describes student renters like they’re a disease. #a2council
by Bryan Cranston
by Bryan Cranston
October 13, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Is Ann Arbor’s housing market actually ok? To find out, I interviewed a real estate agent who is on the Pause The Plan steering committee and who publicly describes student renters like they’re a disease. #a2council
by Bryan Cranston
by Bryan Cranston
Opinion | I’m a lifelong Democrat. But if Mayor Taylor’s allies continue to bring baked goods into City Hall, I will have no choice but to ask Pam Bondi to launch an immediate RICO investigation. #a2council
by Geoff Crabpot
by Geoff Crabpot
October 8, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Opinion | I’m a lifelong Democrat. But if Mayor Taylor’s allies continue to bring baked goods into City Hall, I will have no choice but to ask Pam Bondi to launch an immediate RICO investigation. #a2council
by Geoff Crabpot
by Geoff Crabpot
As the Mayor of LowerTown, it has been my role to bring a circus-like atmosphere to #a2council meetings for years by decapitating stuffed pigs while wearing my top hat. So when I saw that a professor had brought cookies to tailgate at Planning Commission, I knew a formal investigation was necessary.
October 7, 2025 at 9:37 PM
As the Mayor of LowerTown, it has been my role to bring a circus-like atmosphere to #a2council meetings for years by decapitating stuffed pigs while wearing my top hat. So when I saw that a professor had brought cookies to tailgate at Planning Commission, I knew a formal investigation was necessary.
I was a lifelong liberal Democrat. But then Neighbors for More Neighbors started tailgating at #a2council meetings.
October 6, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I was a lifelong liberal Democrat. But then Neighbors for More Neighbors started tailgating at #a2council meetings.