AARON SIMON
@aaronsimon.bsky.social
I already have enough colleague drama to deal with at my own job, and now I’m expected to give a shit about Mark Kelly and Pete Hegseth’s beef? Democrats need to a new strategy if they expect any money from me this midterm cycle.
January 7, 2026 at 6:42 PM
I already have enough colleague drama to deal with at my own job, and now I’m expected to give a shit about Mark Kelly and Pete Hegseth’s beef? Democrats need to a new strategy if they expect any money from me this midterm cycle.
Learned about Henrietta Lacks today. This country has really just failed Black people at every opportunity, huh?
January 7, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Learned about Henrietta Lacks today. This country has really just failed Black people at every opportunity, huh?
I’m already out of audiobook listening hours for January. I’m so screwed.
January 6, 2026 at 1:10 AM
I’m already out of audiobook listening hours for January. I’m so screwed.
My doctor is so hot that I think of making up ailments just so he’ll touch me. 🥴
January 6, 2026 at 12:04 AM
My doctor is so hot that I think of making up ailments just so he’ll touch me. 🥴
Opened Snapchat for the first time in like, 8 months.
a man is wearing a black sweater with the word schitts creek on the bottom
ALT: a man is wearing a black sweater with the word schitts creek on the bottom
media.tenor.com
January 4, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Opened Snapchat for the first time in like, 8 months.
One of the best premieres of ‘Drag Race’ in recent memory, and they pulled it all off without split premieres, chocolate bars, dunk tanks, Rate-A-Queen, or queens that have only done drag on TikTok!
January 4, 2026 at 2:26 AM
One of the best premieres of ‘Drag Race’ in recent memory, and they pulled it all off without split premieres, chocolate bars, dunk tanks, Rate-A-Queen, or queens that have only done drag on TikTok!
I am about halfway through reading ‘Heated Rivalry,’ and I hope I don’t regret saying this, but this may be the best book-to-TV adaptation ever? The sequencing, details, and dialogue are almost identical. I’m pleasantly surprised.
January 2, 2026 at 10:28 PM
I am about halfway through reading ‘Heated Rivalry,’ and I hope I don’t regret saying this, but this may be the best book-to-TV adaptation ever? The sequencing, details, and dialogue are almost identical. I’m pleasantly surprised.
“aNd WiTh ThAt…ThE 2025 sEaS—“
GET 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 NEW 👏🏻 BIT 👏🏻
GET 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 NEW 👏🏻 BIT 👏🏻
January 1, 2026 at 1:28 AM
“aNd WiTh ThAt…ThE 2025 sEaS—“
GET 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 NEW 👏🏻 BIT 👏🏻
GET 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 NEW 👏🏻 BIT 👏🏻
Oh! I forgot to skeet about my dream, in which I was drunk at a Black Eyed Peas (ew) residency in Vegas. I was hootin’ and hollerin’, and I was like, “wHy DiD iT gEt sO QuIeT?” And will.i.am had just brought out N*ck* M*n*j for “Check It Out.” So, even my subconscious knows she’s over.
December 30, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Oh! I forgot to skeet about my dream, in which I was drunk at a Black Eyed Peas (ew) residency in Vegas. I was hootin’ and hollerin’, and I was like, “wHy DiD iT gEt sO QuIeT?” And will.i.am had just brought out N*ck* M*n*j for “Check It Out.” So, even my subconscious knows she’s over.
I can’t stop thinking about ‘Heated Rivalry.’ HELP!
December 30, 2025 at 4:08 PM
I can’t stop thinking about ‘Heated Rivalry.’ HELP!
I bought this limited edition art nude coffee table book from one of my favorite…creators, as a little Christmas treat to myself, and I’ve got two qualms: 1.) Editing. I think there are maybe 10 total set-ups in this book—and granted, the pictures are all beautiful—but there are several shots (1/3)
December 30, 2025 at 2:36 AM
I bought this limited edition art nude coffee table book from one of my favorite…creators, as a little Christmas treat to myself, and I’ve got two qualms: 1.) Editing. I think there are maybe 10 total set-ups in this book—and granted, the pictures are all beautiful—but there are several shots (1/3)
What do I do today? Put together the rest of my Christmas Legos? Read a book? Play Pokémon? Binge a new series?
December 29, 2025 at 3:26 PM
What do I do today? Put together the rest of my Christmas Legos? Read a book? Play Pokémon? Binge a new series?
What happened to normal sized bites? Why do you have sauce all over your face, bbgurl?
December 28, 2025 at 4:25 AM
What happened to normal sized bites? Why do you have sauce all over your face, bbgurl?
I need Hulu to come up with a new loading screen other than “Just a moment while we gather what’s new…” Girl, what did you get in the 5 minutes I was checking another app?
December 27, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I need Hulu to come up with a new loading screen other than “Just a moment while we gather what’s new…” Girl, what did you get in the 5 minutes I was checking another app?
Listen, I love my cat. She is very sweet and snuggly, but MY GOD! CAN I HAVE 10 MINUTES TO MYSELF?!?
December 27, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Listen, I love my cat. She is very sweet and snuggly, but MY GOD! CAN I HAVE 10 MINUTES TO MYSELF?!?
December 26, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Have the subtitles for ‘Saturday Night Live’ always been terrible, orrrr…? Josh O’Connor is talking about ‘Ratatouille,’ and Peacock has shown “rat tattoo” and “rat to do it.”
December 25, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Have the subtitles for ‘Saturday Night Live’ always been terrible, orrrr…? Josh O’Connor is talking about ‘Ratatouille,’ and Peacock has shown “rat tattoo” and “rat to do it.”
Crab Rangoon for breakfast!
December 25, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Crab Rangoon for breakfast!
I can’t help it. Videos of little kids getting emotional that they got a puppy for Christmas will always make my bitch ass cry.
December 24, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I can’t help it. Videos of little kids getting emotional that they got a puppy for Christmas will always make my bitch ass cry.
Had a dream I asked my ex’s parents for his hand in marriage. At one of my middle school friend’s house. After I mowed their lawn. Several glitches in the system.
December 24, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Had a dream I asked my ex’s parents for his hand in marriage. At one of my middle school friend’s house. After I mowed their lawn. Several glitches in the system.
Flipped off and yelled profanities at the TV when Cankles McTacotits showed up and ruined the otherwise perfect Christmas film, ‘Home Alone 2.’
December 24, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Flipped off and yelled profanities at the TV when Cankles McTacotits showed up and ruined the otherwise perfect Christmas film, ‘Home Alone 2.’
I made a goal to read a book a month this year (and to stop reading books about straight people—with the exception of Kamala Harris). I came up three short, but the nine I did finish helped inform and inspire my own writing, so I’ll take it! Here’s to trying for twelve again in 2026! 📚🥂
December 23, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I made a goal to read a book a month this year (and to stop reading books about straight people—with the exception of Kamala Harris). I came up three short, but the nine I did finish helped inform and inspire my own writing, so I’ll take it! Here’s to trying for twelve again in 2026! 📚🥂
‘Heated Rivalry’ is supposed to be making me cry from other places, not my face! 😭
December 20, 2025 at 3:04 AM
‘Heated Rivalry’ is supposed to be making me cry from other places, not my face! 😭
I would be such a good professional athlete’s girlfriend.
December 20, 2025 at 12:21 AM
I would be such a good professional athlete’s girlfriend.
Yes, your tax dollars are paying for us to watch movies this week. We’re tired, yo.
December 18, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Yes, your tax dollars are paying for us to watch movies this week. We’re tired, yo.